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- 27 de Jun, 2014
So this review of DQ (Depression Quest, not Dairy Queen) will be less in depth than I intended. Hopefully, it's still informative and enjoyable. Let's go through this step by step.
Controls
Having an intuitive user interface is a critical part of any gaming experience. Some games, like Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, use their controls as part of the story. However, one should not be fooled by the "quest" in Depression Quest. This is not an adventure game. It is more of a text based RPG. Unlike other games of this style, such as Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the user interface is much more basic. Instead of interacting with the game environment by typing commands such as ">look up" or ">open door" the player must choose from a list of predetermined actions using the mouse. A keyboard is not even required. There is no inventory and no way to truly explore. Although it might seem odd to talk about immersion in a text based game, this set up allows the player to get through the game without so much as skimming background information. You could click links at random and still reach the end of the game. Using a text based interface would have forced the player to be aware of their surroundings as well as other characters, bringing the player deeper into the world of the game. The choices you make do impact the choices available to you later in the game (such as whether or not you will see a therapist) but that's all there is to say.
Music
It's really, really bland. I want to call the soundtrack depressing, but it's more soap opera-esq melodramatic. The good news is if you're playing in browser you can block the music application with AdBlock+. One wonders why the option to turn off the music was not more easily accessible. Do deaf people get depressed?
Quinn was probably relying on the music to set an emotional tone, since her writing won't do the job on its own (more on that later). The bad news is the music fails to accomplish this purpose. Rather than invoking sadness, the music is minimalist and monotonous. This game is a chore to listen to, barely tolerable.
Graphics
There's a game on Steam right now called Monster Loves You! It's a choose your own adventure game, much like DQ, with one exception: MLY is actually fun. It's also imaginative. You can take a look at the game here. For the purposes of this review, I recommend you give the first page a glance so you can better understand what I'm saying and why DQ fails as a game even within its own genre.
DQ is a game that takes place in the form of black text (the font appears to be Ariel) on a grainy off-white background. Your available actions are written in periwinkle bold font and actions which are not available to you are in red and crossed out.
A grainy photograph sits at the top of each screen of the game. The image greys out and becomes filled with static, depending on how depressed your character is (you can view his status at the bottom of the screen). The photo may or may not have anything to do with your current situation. For example, when your character goes to the dentist the picture is of what appears to be either a white fence or a window pane. It's difficult to tell because the photo is so grainy. Either way, the photo holds little to no significance to the scene.
If this all sounds terribly bland and vaguely "artistic" to you, then you already get what I'm trying to say. The simplest thing - even inverting the colors of the text and background - could make this game more visually appealing. There is no artwork, no indication of the player's setting beyond words on the screen, and no meaningful attempt to craft a mood. This is a one note game. Every page feels the same and there is never any sense of change or accomplishment.
Story
This is another area where DQ fails and MLY shines. One Steam reviewer called the writing in DQ "utilitarian" and I cannot think of a better way to describe it.
Most of us learn by high school that the simplest way to make your writing interesting is to vary your sentence structure. DQ does not follow this basic advice. Sentences in DQ are usually between 20-30 words long. Consequently, the game drags a lot. The word "you" is frequently used as a starter. "Monotonous" is a word I use a lot in this review, so this time I'm going to say "tedious." Here's an example:
And here's how I would have written it to not suck as hard:
By the way, [sic] in the original quote indicates an error in the text. One sentence is missing a word ("if") and the other incorrectly writes "onto" as two words. Hopefully these errors were corrected for the Steam release, but honestly, I wouldn't hold my breath.
Final Verdict
Take your fucking bow, because you deserve it for that one.
, but CHRIST.