Youtube 5/10: I am sick of the HATE

Exorcizo vos, numismata, per Deum + Patrem omnipotentem, qui fecit caelum et terram, mare et omnia, quae in eis sunt. Omnis virtus adversarii, omnis exercitus diaboli, et omnis incursus, omne phantasma satanae, eradicare et effugare, ab his numismatibus: ut fiant omnibus, qui eis usuri sunt, salus mentis et corporis: in nomine Patris + omnipotentis, et Jesu + Christi Filii ejus, Domini nostri, et Spiritus + Sancti Paracliti, et in caritate ejusdem Domini nostri Jesu Christi, qui venturus est judicare vivos et mortuos, et saeculum per ignem. R. Amen.
 
This sounds like someone doing an impression of the classic "MY MOTHER AND FATHER ARE ANGRY AT ME" video, but they haven't seen it in like six months and they're trying to recall what Chris sounds like from memory

Also it looks like he's making slightly more of an effort to style his hair in a way that conceals the bald. Or maybe it just happened to be like that for this video, who the fuck knows
 
It looks like he's actually slimmed down a bit here. He looks less hulking than he usually does. Hopefully he'll join another gym or get a cheap starter's barbell & dumbell combo.
nichijew dijo:
I feel like Jack is done with chris after he was doxxed
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Yeah, more than likely.
Xanax dijo:
Also it looks like he's making slightly more of an effort to style his hair in a way that conceals the bald. Or maybe it just happened to be like that for this video, who the fuck knows
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That's his courtroom hair style. It's been looking like that since the day of his court appearance.

It looks too well done to have been done by himself or Barb. Did he go to a hair stylist for his court date? :optimistic:
 
Here's a theory.

Some exceptional individual wanted to pay for their very own custom Chris Chan freak out in order to see Twitter and Kiwifarms react to it, so Chris gave them access to the account either by copypasting their tweets, or by giving them his password.

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Count Dankula noted that Chris would definitely know who he was, I assume they might have talked in the past, since Chris follows Dankula. He concluded he must have been hacked.

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Then what we could assume was the real Chris posted a message with his usual typing style to assure everyone he wasn't hacked, then right after, the video dropped.

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No matter what, it's pretty obvious that the video is scripted. A genuinely angry or upset Chris would be sobbing and flailing his arms, not just changing the tone of his voice at random intervals, while being too lazy to even stand up.
 
Whatever the Great Unspeakable Evil is, it will definitely be fucking stupid.
 
Transcript:

HELLO EVERYBODY THIS IS CHRISTINE CHANDLER COMING TO YA LIVE FROM HOME, AND IM GONNA TELL YA'LL SOME REAL, TRUE, SHIT!
I'll tell you what... YES!!! It WAS me on TWITTER!! I'm sick of the trolls, I'm sick of the hate, HATE HATE HATE on some GOOD, DANG, COMMENTARY! I will not tolerate fricken commentary anymore! I'm sick of the *begins to hit pillow* hateful, hurtful, commentary *continues to hit pillow* ERRRRRRRR *breathe* ERRRRRR
I'm TIRED of being HATED ON! I'm VERY STRESSED OUT! I'm human! And I'm sonichu!
*deep breath*
I NEED A BREAAAAAAK!
I have to send the mail and do the video!
My father always told me to STICK UP and STAND UP for myself and HE always said the same thing, you know he did! He told you all the address of this very house, AND our phone number! *garbles*
YOU LOOK! You wanna come at us? You wanna come at us? You come at us! Whoever gives us moneyyyy!
He was... EUHHHHHHHHH
And I'm just tired because of TODAY (x13)
HATRED!!!
EUHRHHHHHH!
And LIKE a similar person, many many many years ago, my kindness, generosity and ??? is being taken advantage of, WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!
And I will not tolerate anymore hurtful comments or BS from any of you spiteful, hating people... ANYMORE!!!
You better SHAPE UP! BE KIND! BE COURTEOUS! OR ITS THAT!
ERURRRRRR!
 
Última edición:
Clean your room, brush your hair, and stop reading of notecards, faggot.
I know this "Love is Love" BS wouldn't last for too long, eventually Chris gets kicked out of places and reveals his true nature.
 
Pony Horn dijo:
It looks too well done to have been done by himself or Barb. Did he go to a hair stylist for his court date? :optimistic:
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I don't think Chris would know what to ask for if he went to a stylist. I'm sure it's within his capabilities to follow a YouTube tutorial on brushing hair out to make it look thicker though.
 
I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out Chris is just in a constant loop of despair, being pulled in violently in two opposing directions by his addiction to frivolous spending, and his growing debts and responsibilities.

Here's the stages I think Chris has been going through in recent weeks.

* Chris is contacted by various companies, because he hasn't paid his debts
* He begins to panic, as he so often does when faced with real problems and consequences
* Starts to sell fucking everything, even going so far as to offer blowjobs for money
* Is willing to do literally anything for a few hundred bucks
* Weens flock to exploit this opportunity
* It's successful. After exploiting and milking everything and everyone around him, he's done it.
* Chris is relieved and wants to de-stress.
* He decides to spend some of the money on a new iPhone, and video games
* Chris either believes he can get more money out of his "fans" or he's got enough money for both the bills and new shit
* Suddenly he realizes he forgot about a bill, or forgot about food expenses, or Barb's medicine
* Rinse and repeat
 
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