How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[nycifer]

I am going to be asking my isp today to pause my service or outright cancel my subscription. There is a lot of low to nothing activity with my hobbies. I feel alienated with a lot of run ins with shit ass moderators and even admins ruining what I love doing over pettiness.

And my circle is dead ass quiet and i am burnt the fuck out. So i think 2 months off from the net will do wonders. Least so i can focus on shit. Before i do go offline, i am going to binge download a favorite podcast series of mine. Theres dozens to hundreds of episodes so i will be kept fairly attuned while i do whatever.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

I got brought on to a "temp to perm" position at a company that has laid me off and rehired me several times now. I'm certain that I'll stay on through October but anything after that is up in the air. The pay isn't great, but the work is pretty easy and I don't feel like screaming at people halfway through the day, which is more than I can say for many past jobs.

 

[SOLDIER OF WALES]

Closing in on 10k in savings again. Should be less than a week.

But also my water heaters fucked so like last time won't be at 10k for long lmao

 

[DonkeyHotey]

I just had my pancreas cut up, I'm taking strong drugs, my wife hates me, and my kid still believes in Santa Claus. That's how I'm doing you fat fuck.

 

[JustStopDude]

I need to fly back to the east coast, I literally just had to the west coast after my mom's funeral, because the person that was renting my place apparently just noped out, didn't tell me, and wrecked the place, leaving it completely unsecured.

I wouldn't have even known anything except I kept texting her and she eventually mentioned she is now in NJ..

I got four fucking days to secure the place, clear out all the shit she left, fix a smashed out my window, and fuck it, talk to a goddamn real estate agent to get the damn thing on the market.

These last few weeks, I can't win for losing.

 

[Core Theorist]

I went to the laundromat.

 

[MoeAnguish]

It has honestly been almost a year or at least half a year since anyone has asked me this question, so I might as well indulge myself in it. I hope people across the pond (or people not across the pond for that matter; these things have been hitting people differently) are doing better than I am (though I hear Italy has been going through its own wildfire phase, ahem, "wild" fire), but it has been a roller coaster with the Canadian wildfires, seasonal allergies, a local tick epidemic (and yes, the word "epidemic" here is not a hyperbole, that's how people are describing it), a heat advisory, and media regulations occurring in what like twenty countries (which have been restricting how I navigate conversations), along with the stuff I typically mention or have mentioned (family matters and whatnot).

Imagine being told "we have banned media, go enjoy the wider world or something" by one news agency but then being able to flip a single channel and see the other news agency say "go watch those Netflix shows you have been saving up, you'll need it because there's a smoke/tick/heat advisory outside". What times we live in where even the restrictions cannot make up their mind (cue the old "guess I'll die" meme). I'm surprised we don't have a local Jimothy conversation.

There was a point too where I thought I'd be feeling better for at least a while. Went to then watch a review of a game I saw called A Space for the Unbound. And... do you ever have times when you think you're feeling good but then you watch something that's so relatable that you have a kind of epiphany like "wow, I guess I'm not doing that good after all"? I'm not blaming the game, it's a good game. But wow does the feeling hit.

By the way, when I mention a tick epidemic, if you're ever wondering, I feel I can say who the culprit is. Deer, deer everywhere, with a few passing my home right before my front porch gets literally rained upon by ticks (ticks flock to deer like moth to a flame). They're like tiny terrorists and I'm surprised the government turns a blind eye to them, despite the fact they're the single greatest nemesis to labor where I live (though then again, Australia did once try declaring war on emus for this reason during/after WWII only to lose). The ticks of all things don't even care about the smoke from the wildfires.

 

[Getmeout]

I genuinely need to see a therapist about this racial self hate. Like sure I can be fine for a bit but then I backslide and I’m a nigger again and then I’m fine and I’m just a human again and then I backslide and I’m a nigger again. It’s on and off and I’m tired of this seesaw. ATP I don’t even care which side I settle on, eternally hating myself, or eternal neutrality. I just wanna settle on something dammit.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I genuinely need to see a therapist about this racial self hate. Like sure I can be fine for a bit but then I backslide and I’m a nigger again and then I’m fine and I’m just a human again and then I backslide and I’m a nigger again. It’s on and off and I’m tired of this seesaw. ATP I don’t even care which side I settle on, eternally hating myself, or eternal neutrality. I just wanna settle on something dammit.

Labels and categories do not define a person. Don't confuse the two.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

however, my cat does not. She keeps spending her days behind the washing machine and nights as a host for a legion of demons. She also hasn't pooped since we moved in, so I am getting really worried despite her being active.

Update: she is fine, already trying to go outside. Time to buy a new leash.

 

[Squanto Airi]

What would you guys do on your birthday on a saturday when you only have one (1) friend and hate feeling like a loser when you are one? I need some ideas

Other than that in the past couple days I got an overwhelming amount of unexpected things to do and I feel overwhelmed. But I'm gonna pull through

Edit: also lol at me saying overwhelming twice. My brain is fried this week my bad

My last birthday I had a closing shift, went home, cooked a steak, ate a cake, and drank a beer.

I went to the laundromat.

Sounds like loads of fun.

 

[Dysnomia]

forgive the nosiness but are you female and could you be getting recurrent UTIs due to perimenopause?

I…. Have had a nice week. Which I really needed. I have spent a week in very good company doing nice things and it’s helped me a lot.

Yes. That is a possibility. But they tested me and said I didn't have an infection at all. At least not in my renal system. I had a nasty sinus and stomach bug that I'm on antibiotics for. They said I had cystitis and my bladder was probably irritated from something. I know I need to cut the caffeine. And I've been trying. I'm drinking coffee right now. But I swear I am trying.

I was stuck in the ER for 12 hours and didn't get home until after 2am. I just kept to streets that had lit up houses. I only live a few blocks from the hospital. It was awful in there waiting. Some crazy lady came in laughing like a maniac about Facebook. There was a junkie who kept sneaking back in after being discharged. And this teen girl that looked like Pixyteri who kept scowling at everyone.

They kept discharging people but not taking anyone back for a long time. I ended up on an IV because, despite drinking two bottles of water and a protein shake while waiting, I was dehydrated. They couldn't get any blood to come out of my veins after four attempts and they had to stick the IV on the side of my wrist. So not only do I have a bruised up arm, but I have a hard vein and my arm hurts like a bitch.

And to top it all off a couple of days later I get a call from the pulmonologist. They reran all the tests since my asthma inhalers weren't helping much. There have been concerning changes to my right lung and I have to get a biopsy on the 12th. I have a bad history with pneumonia. But my grandmother died of lung cancer. She quit smoking cold turkey but it was too late. I've never smoked a day in my life. But my entire family smokes like chimneys.. Hopefully it's nothing serious. But the coughing is pretty bad lately and I'm having issues ascending stairs. Which torpedoes my stair exercises. My main exercise when it's too hot to go for long walks.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Fuck me! I got an ant infestation in the brick wall and possibly in the sealant near my windows, so I can't have my windows open without a bunch of fucking ants invading my apartment. So I gotta call the landlord tomorrow morning and have them send the exterminator (as is the law here)

Of all the people this could happen to, it's gotta be me. Fucking hell! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Total ant death.

 

[MazonLabs Recruitment Rep]

The meds...are not working today.

Total ant death.

Show no mercy. Leave the area toxic to their very presence.

 

[Fellen]

Some days are better than others. Some days are normal and feel happy and optimistic, other days I want to not do anything.

 

[Penguin Sandwich]

Do you guys have any friends that're picky when they hang out, and if so, does that bother you? I'm that friend. Am I an asshole for that?
A friend of mine who's on military leave was a little frustrated that I didn't want to hang with my roommate and him at his friend's house today. He was pretty adamant that I go for whatever reason, mentioning the wife and baby won't be there, so it's just the boys tonight. I was a bit hesitant with my answer because I felt pressured to go, but I said I'd consider it and that they don't have to wait up for me. It was spur-of-the-moment thing too where his friend was coming to get us. I'm not a fan of big fan of those.

He and I have hung out on and off since he's been here and I've enjoyed my time with him. I've also hung out at his friend's place before a couple times since he was last here, but I don't have much in common with his friend and haven't for a long time since we were kids. Nothing against him or anything. Also, I don't typically like staying somewhere for more than an hour or 2, but it all depends on the people, place, what there is to do, ya know? I'll talk to him about it sometime to clear the air. It's not as though I want him or anyone to cater to me, nor would I expect anyone to. Sometimes I'll go, sometimes I won't.

For the record, I don't have any issues with his friend's wife, we're all on good terms. When babs are involved in anything and depending on where, I don't go and in this case, he's a recent newborn, so he'll require attention, especially if/when there's crying.

 

[Betonhaus]

I babysat my sister's dog this weekend and I think I got a little heatstroke from the walks as it's just so damn hot out.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Do you guys have any friends that're picky when they hang out, and if so, does that bother you? I'm that friend. Am I an asshole for that?
A friend of mine who's on military leave was a little frustrated that I didn't want to hang with my roommate and him at his friend's house today. He was pretty adamant that I go for whatever reason, mentioning the wife and baby won't be there, so it's just the boys tonight. I was a bit hesitant with my answer because I felt pressured to go, but I said I'd consider it and that they don't have to wait up for me. It was spur-of-the-moment thing too where his friend was coming to get us. I'm not a fan of big fan of those.

He and I have hung out on and off since he's been here and I've enjoyed my time with him. I've also hung out at his friend's place before a couple times since he was last here, but I don't have much in common with his friend and haven't for a long time since we were kids. Nothing against him or anything. Also, I don't typically like staying somewhere for more than an hour or 2, but it all depends on the people, place, what there is to do, ya know? I'll talk to him about it sometime to clear the air. It's not as though I want him or anyone to cater to me, nor would I expect anyone to. Sometimes I'll go, sometimes I won't.

For the record, I don't have any issues with his friend's wife, we're all on good terms. When babs are involved in anything and depending on where, I don't go and in this case, he's a recent newborn, so he'll require attention, especially if/when there's crying.

So, ngl, it is trying (and sometimes disappointing) to deal with someone with exceptionally high particularities (and I have been on both sides of it). It's fair to go sometimes and not go sometimes. You can't control for how people feel about it, though. Doesn't mean you're an asshole, but tbh, people sometimes eventually distance from that person.

And I appreciate disliking totally spontaneous get-togethers you're not interested in, so if it's a no, then just "sorry man, can't do it.". But if it's less "don't like these people" and more anxiety or personal comfort, might be worth giving a try to extending your comfort-level, with built-in escapes.

 

[Quijibo69]

Played with my hacked 3ds all day, enjoying watch movies that look like a holographic sticker from the 80s.

 

[Otterly]

He was pretty adamant that I go for whatever reason,

I’m in two minds about this. On the one hand I hate being summonsed like that but on the other, perhaps that’s what friendship and community actually is - dealing with people who you’re not keen on or dealing with people you are keen on when you don’t want to.
Maybe strike a balance - go for a short time, or go sometimes but not every time.

It’s 3:30 am and I can’t sleep, again. Despite being tired from a very physical day.
I feel very bleak and depressed. The thought of decades more of this is unmanageable