🍔 Quarterpounder Jeremy Hambly / The Quartering / MTGHeadquarters / Unsleeved Media / Midwestly - Alcoholic, Addict, Cry-bully, FLAGGOT, Man-baby, Grifter, Cancel Pig, cucked by (((Adam Sellers))), pisses in basement, shits pants in public, lecherous, banned Ren-Faire miscreant, scammer, sex pest

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I have cross-referenced the alleged slapping sex noises with publicly available police reports and I can conclude some very sad news: at precisely the same time as Jer unmuted his speakers to take a group call, three minor businessmen in the Wisconsin area were beaten to death using sacks of raw coffee.

A police spokesman indicated this was a warning to other coffee companies to back off Costa Nostra turf.
 
returnofthemacandcheese dijo:
Okay guys we need a gooner autist to identify where this sound came from. I'm open to the possibility this is not porn and perhaps he opened the stream he was sending people to at a very awkward time but holy shit it does sound a lot like someone getting their cheeks aggressively clapped.
2026-07-14 22-34-24.mp4
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Obviously he was just calling Heather to see if she was finished hanging out with her guy friends.
 
deskgum dijo:
Well, I think it's more that it is expensive exactly because someone else did 95% of the work for him.
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Yeah. That's the dynamic of running dropshipping, white label, or whatever kind of Mickey Mouse operation ol' Jerbear is running over here. Theoretically there's almost no way to lose money, considering you're effectively assuming no risk and ultimately only responsible for marketing. Ofc, unless you massively estimate a preorder or begin offering a holiday/event themed assortment of items that don't sell for shit, but even that inventory can/will eventually be sold.

However, you're also never gonna really reap the rewards either, regardless of whether the dropship/white label operation becomes uber successful or not, until that operation begins assuming risk. That's just the nature of business in general. Risk = Reward. Other than mistakenly attempting to sell Mother's Day gift boxes, the only risk he takes is running the CBC website, which is more than likely actually temporarily managed by a jeet whenever Jeremy needs to make changes

IDK, it's all just hilarious because people generally accept that's how influencers work, but only Jeremy could turn it into a situation where he seethes over people shitting on CBC all the time. Considering all the non-financial resources he's dumped into CBC (time, spirit, energy, etc.), and what profit it actually generates, CBC is absolutely a net negative for Jeremy.
 
Ice Gun Ninja dijo:
Quartering REALLY wanted to talk about the drama, but didn't wanted to do it on his main channel, because it would have "given them a W".
So, he decided to create an new channel just for them, because in his mind, it wasn't given them a W.
That's Quartering's brain for you.
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In truth he hides this shit from his main audience because he's incapable of getting a W, so it's silly he postures like he's ever in a position to give Ws out to others. Putting his deboonkings on an obscure channel he just shat out a week ago is just straight up evasive and cowardly. Other content creators have effectively addressed controversies they've been in directly on their main channels. Turkey Tom comes to mind for example. But Jer can't do it, he can only run and hide when he's not ineffectively seething and snarking.

Nibbles dijo:
Warski said something on stream last night, I assume he got it from Twitter or this thread, but it's a great analogy: Jer's white label supplier is Build-A-Bear for coffee.

They give him a bunch of options for the beans, the roasting, the toxic flavor oils, etc. Then he uses his amazing coffee expertise to pick a combination. So it's very possible that Jer's blueberry cobbler genuinely has a a slightly different flavor mix from their original blueberry crumble flavor. Like the original flavor was 60% Formaldehyde and 40% Methyl Arsenic, but Jer's version is 55% Formaldehyde, 42% Methyl Arsenic, and 3% Asbestos, also downgraded to the absolutely cheapest beans the white labeler has in stock.

EDIT: It's just as likely that he's completely lying, as usual, and his blueberry coffee is their exact blueberry coffee in a CBC package.
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Generously assuming he had some input on the contents of his krabby patty secret formula... And it is very generous because he's already lied so many times about Coffee Fraud Coffee and he just retreats and draws a new line in the sand when one is exposed. I've even doubted recently that he likes drinking coffee given we only see him drinking energy drinks. Or maybe he likes the taste but coffee triggers his explosive diarrhea so he stays away from it now... But still granting him this anyways... So fucking what. I put way more thought and effort into modding the games I play than this fat fuck did in tasting some coffee then asking others to tweak the blend a couple times.
 
Kurt Barlow dijo:
Making abrupt excuses to end his shows to goon might also be a pattern we overlooked. It’s worth analyzing past streams and seeing how much he’s glancing at a second screen and getting flustered, before suddenly having to leave for a “doctors appointment” or other errand,
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I definitely thought that’s what his business call when he was talking about female sports attire with Melony Mac. Sicko was getting too horny from talking to Melony about gooners he couldn’t contain it.
 
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Lundgoff dijo:
I’d love to play Jer in poker tbh I bet that dude can’t bluff to save his life
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Imagine playing poker with Jer Jer and Hannah Claire? One of them twitching like a bugged out robot, the one other with their eyes popping out of their head with every shitty hand

I damn near might turn myself in, I'd think I was cheating
 
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Ralph's Unfinished Church dijo:
(brief audio clips of cheeks clapping)
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1784131794194.png

 
Seafarer dijo:
How long until he full on DSP-maxxes and straight up jerks off on camera?
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god imagine seeing this naked morbidly obese man try to pinch the jer junior only to have to constantly fight with his rolls of fat

Would that be hilarious? Yes. Would it also be disgusting and vomit inducing? Also yes. The jer gunt tape would probably be a worse sight than the indian gore videos I see on twitter
 
Messiah Mike dijo:
god imagine seeing this naked morbidly obese man try to pinch the jer junior only to have to constantly fight with his rolls of fat

Would that be hilarious? Yes. Would it also be disgusting and vomit inducing? Also yes. The jer gunt tape would probably be a worse sight than the indian gore videos I see on twitter
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For maximum memetic value he needs to deliver the exact same line that DSP did when he was caught jerking it

“Oh the cameras on… it’s been on the whole time huh”
 
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