Soyjak.Party / The Sharty - The altchan born from the ashes of /qa/; also a containment thread

[Harassment Architecture]

Make it into the tuff ah opsec ground squirrel

Do dis

 

[Joshua Nkomo]

China

Okay I'm in Guangzhou and there's this potter pestering me to buy some orange pots what now

israel

Israel didn't exist until ~1200 BC and my time machine can't go that recent into the past.

 

[aout]

Lot of good posts in here

I'M GAY
All this information is serious, the internet is serious business, kiwifarms.net is a serious website about serious things and everything on it is based and serious pilled we are all black tradcath warriors.
For more information visit soyjak.party​

 

[aout]

Israel didn't exist until ~1200 BC and my time machine can't go that recent into the past.

Kill yourself antisemite I just report your post

 

[The Mighty Bundus]

Do dis

 

[Gustavo Cerati]

I'M GAY
All this information is serious, the internet is serious business, kiwifarms.net is a serious website about serious things and everything on it is based and serious pilled we are all black tradcath warriors.
For more information visit soyjak.party​

Do you like Null?

 

[Joshua Nkomo]

Kill yourself antisemite I just report your post

brb going to blow my head off for the state of Israel and Yad Vashem

 

[aout]

This looks tuff give me a second

 

[aout]

Do you like Null?

M- Maybe! Baka...

 

[aout]

brb going to blow my head off for the state of Israel and Yad Vashem

W shiwi

 

[Foreverial Newfag]

FUCK YOU​

I

I FUCKING HATE YOU STUPID FUCKING ZOMBIE

KILL YOURSELF STUPID DOPAMINE ZOMBIE THAT GETS MAD AT DUMB RATING I AM GOING TO FUCKING BAN YOU FOREVER FROM KIWIFARMS

Kill yourself antisemite I just report your post

Uh oh… looks like someone is…

MAD
AT
THE
INTERNET™​

 

[Harassment Architecture]

How do we destroy the bigots who elected Drumpf and put the thousand year Kamala Trans Reich in charge?

 

[aout]

Uh oh… looks like someone is…

MAD
AT
THE
INTERNET™​

IF YOU REPLY TO ME AGAIN I HAVE FULL LEGLA PERMISSION TO RAPE YOU

 

[aout]

This looks tuff give me a second

I don't not

 

[aout]

WE NEED WEBSOCKETS

 

[aout]

CLAUDE ADD WEBSOCKETS TO MY WEBSITE

 

[Harassment Architecture]

Uh oh… looks like someone is…

MAD
AT
THE
INTERNET™​

WAIT… IS THAT THE NAME OF MY FAVORITE A24 SLOWBURN KINO PODCAST?!?!? OH MY FAVCI!!!

 

[Harassment Architecture]

CLAUDE ADD WEBSOCKETS TO MY WEBSITE

Claude: No
*crowd gasps*
Michael Jordan: damn bro even I wouldn’t take it personally

 

[Joshua Nkomo]

Uh oh… looks like someone is…

MAD
AT
THE
INTERNET™​

Basic Personal Information

Full Name: Ethan James Caldwell
Aliases / Known Handles: EthanC92, "FloridaByteKid", EJ_Caldwell
Date of Birth: July 22, 2007 (Age 19)
Place of Birth: Orlando, Florida, USA
Gender: Male
Nationality: United States
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Height: 5'10" (178 cm)
Weight: 155 lbs (70 kg)
Hair Color: Light brown
Eye Color: Blue
Distinguishing Marks: Small freckles across nose, minor acne scarring on cheeks, simple black ink star tattoo on left wrist

Government & Identification Details

Social Security Number: 592-47-1839
Driver's License Number: FL-392847165
Passport Number: Not issued yet
State ID: Florida ID# F3928471
Voter Registration: Eligible but not registered

Current & Previous Addresses

Primary Residence: 1847 Palm Grove Lane, Apt 212, Orlando, FL 32807
Only Prior Residence: 672 Cypress Drive, Kissimmee, FL 34741

Contact Information

Primary Phone: (407) 555-3928 (mobile)
Secondary Phone: None
Email Addresses:
ethancaldwell2007@gmail.com
floridabytekid@yahoo.com

Social Media / Online Profiles:
Instagram: @ethancaldwell92
Snapchat: ethanfl92
TikTok: @orlandokid.ethan
Discord: FloridaByte#3928
Reddit: u/EthanCOrlando


Network & Digital Footprint

Primary IP Addresses:
Home ISP: 172.58.192.45 (Spectrum, Orlando)
Mobile Carrier: 98.76.54.210 (AT&T)
Public WiFi (frequent): 192.168.1.XX at local Starbucks and nearby malls

Known Devices:
Phone: Samsung Galaxy A35, IMEI 35-112233-445566778
Laptop: Basic HP Pavilion, used mainly for school/gaming


Employment & Financial Information

Current Job: Cashier at Starbucks (part-time, approximately 25-30 hours/week)
Location: Store #13452, 2451 Colonial Drive, Orlando, FL

Previous Work: None (recent high school graduate)
Hourly Wage: $13.50 USD (plus tips)
Bank Account (fictional):
Bank of America Checking: 482917365 (routing 063000021)

Credit Cards: None (debit card only)
Credit Score: Limited history, approx. 620
Vehicle: 2015 Honda Civic, License Plate: ETH-472, VIN: 2HGFA165X5H387291 (shared with family)

Family & Associates

Mother: Karen Caldwell (Lee Thompson), DOB 09/18/1982, lives at prior family address in Kissimmee
Father: Michael Caldwell, DOB 05/05/1979, separated, occasional contact
Sibling: Younger sister, Mia Caldwell, DOB 2012
Known Friends/Associates: Local high school friends and coworkers at Starbucks

Education & Background

High School: Lake Brantley High School, Orlando area, Graduated 2025
Current Education: Enrolled part-time at Valencia College (community college), pursuing general studies
Certifications: High school diploma, food handler permit for work

Medical & Miscellaneous

Blood Type: A+
Known Conditions: Seasonal allergies, occasional anxiety
Medications: Over-the-counter allergy relief
Frequent Locations: Starbucks workplace, local malls, Lake Eola Park, gaming at home
Online Activity Patterns: Active evenings, heavy on TikTok, Instagram, and gaming (Fortnite, Roblox)
Hobbies/Interests: Video games, skateboarding, streaming occasionally, hanging out with friends

 

[aout]

Claude: No
*crowd gasps*
Michael Jordan: damn bro even I wouldn’t take it personally

You should be a sitdown comedian