>Congratulations Kris! You saved the worlds!
>Now you may be missing your hand and won't be able to play piano again, but look on the bright side!
>That girl you liked and your childhood best friend are dating now, maybe you could be a third whe- I mean Throuple with them!
>That other party member who was interested in you? Well he's either dead, trooned out, or both!
>Want to try and reconnect with Dess? She's probably dead too. She was always a metaphor for getting over grief, so she was never gonna make it anyway.
>Your parents are still divorced, unfortunately. But hey, at least that 7/11 cashier who loiters in your house gets drunk with your mom sometimes!
>Also, everyone in Hometown thought the Roaring was just a weird dream, so no one actually recognizes you for anything.
>Want to try and take a break from it all by opening another fountain? Nope, you're getting Kiki's Delivery Service'd. Stab the floor all you want, nothing's gonna happen. Can't live in your Escapism Metaphor forever, yknow!
>But hey, now you get to use the handicap parking spots!
Remind me again how the Weird Route is the evil route