🦊 Furry Louis "Lou" Gagliardi / Ash Franzetti / Alex 'Ace' Maddox / Tegan Ainsley / Taryn Amita / Diana / gothickitteh / ashkat724 / Lynn Brooks / @acekatt - #T R A M S _ C R O W _ F U N D *buys 12 iPads* "Anyone got $600 they can spare?" *spits on cancer patient*

[Solid Snek]

In fairness to Lou, he is only one man, and Operation Move to Frederick is going to eat up a lot of his time and energy, so much so that I guess we can't expect him to diversify his grift.

And, while his extended family won't put up with him for long, so it's a given he'll be homeless in short order if he moves, it's possible that Frederick will give him some short-term gains. A new city means a new local community of LGBTQ folx, and a new community means new marks for Lou to try his luck on. Yes, every person who meets him is only a Google search away from learning what a shiester Lou is, but Lou just has to say "boohoo I just moved here, my old town was full of racist homophobic transphobes" and I think that'll be good enough for most people, at least for the first twenty bucks or so. Yes, he's already scorched the ground quite a bit (Meals on Wheels guy was from Frederick too, I think?) but if strikes hard and strikes fast, Lou can sucker a few queers out of their money before the rest of them even know "remember that asshole from Discord?" has shown up.

Longterm, of course, Frederick will be a disaster, but you have to think like an addict here: all that matters is short-term gains, small bursts of cash to keep the high running.

Ultimately, I think maybe Lou's best bet is to simply lean hard into the one thing he actually does - grifting - and go all-in with the hobo life. Become a career drifter; riding freightcars, town by town, state by state, with nothing but his phone and his DS and his transflag on his back. Every stop, he can spin a sad story to the local Alphabet people, living off their goodwill until the local sheriff or a mob of townsfolk chases him across county lines. Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum, until he dies of a ketchup overdose in an alley behind a Wendy's.

 

[The Dude]

I hope he does move, because I desperately wish to see the results of Louie finally oozing out from under the security of his mother's skirt and having to attempt adulting far away from quick and easy relief.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

Become a career drifter; riding freightcars

I'd pay cash money to see him trying to heave himself into a boxcar.

 

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

I'd pay cash money to see him trying to heave himself into a boxcar.

In Lou's defense, if he managed to get into one, it's not like the railroad worker would be able to easily remove him.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

Become a career drifter; riding freightcars,

I just need a diabetic friendly Rock Island Line Ipad. Please think of the children me.

 

[The Dude]

In Lou's defense, if he managed to get into one, it's not like the railroad worker would be able to easily remove him.

You'd be surprised at how effective a railroad roustabout can be at motivating defiant trespassers and car hoppers at getting the fuck off railroad property. Railroad alignments are private property and often times not located places that lend themselves to quick and easy access by law enforcement, so railroad workers often times have very effective methods of getting trespassers to leave. And it's not like the offender has a good case for calling Johnny Law themselves. "Hello, police? Yes, I was caught car hopping at the train yard and the employees there beat me with sticks and threw rocks at me. I want to press assault charges." They'll be laughed at and told not to trespass on private property anymore. If the cops are feeling especially nasty they'll go along with it long enough to take the trespasser into custody, drive them by the rail yard and ask the yard manager if they want to press charges, and take them to the station first before getting a lecture about not trespassing in the future if they don't want to catch anymore ass-beatings.

Besides, Louie would never do it. Car-hopping often times requires running to get onto moving trains, and doing a lot of walking when you're not lucky enough to find a train going the same direction you are. He's too fucking fat and lazy to live on the rails.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You'd be surprised at how effective a railroad roustabout can be at motivating defiant trespassers and car hoppers at getting the fuck off railroad property.

And what both of you are forgetting: the problem of getting Lou out of a train car was already studied to a science, a hundred years ago.

 

[The Dude]

And what both of you are forgetting: the problem of getting Lou out of a train car was already studied to a science, a hundred years ago.
Ver archivo adjunto 9250446

But what YOU'RE forgetting is that the elephants were actually wanted on the trains and had handlers to help load them on/guide them off and place the ramps to facilitate those maneuvers. No one would be helping Louie on and off the train (aside from being caught by a roustabout and getting kicked off) and no one would be placing ramps for him to assist in that. He'd be all on his own, which is why he would never do it in the first place. Too much effort.

 

[Spunt]

But what YOU'RE forgetting is that the elephants were actually wanted on the trains and had handlers to help load them on/guide them off and place the ramps to facilitate those maneuvers. No one would be helping Louie on and off the train (aside from being caught by a roustabout and getting kicked off) and no one would be placing ramps for him to assist in that. He'd be all on his own, which is why he would never do it in the first place. Too much effort.

I can think of a good train ride for Lou that everyone would be happy about, and at the end work would set him free.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

and at the end work would set him free.

Then he would never be free.

 

[Aunt Carol]

But what YOU'RE forgetting is that the elephants were actually wanted on the trains and had handlers to help load them on/guide them off and place the ramps to facilitate those maneuvers.

They did also have sticks.

I don't think anyone's tried motivating Lou with a stick yet. If so, I hope they have a bodycam.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

They did also have sticks.

I don't think anyone's tried motivating Lou with a stick yet. If so, I hope they have a bodycam.

One of those cattle prods. The kinds they use on bulls. *nigger pointing at head like he's smart meme

 

[Solid Snek]

A smattering of random Threads updates since the 4th. I'll see if I can catch some of his convos later.

First, 4th of July fallout and still hating on Dr Oz (despite the fact that Dr Oz's only crime was trying to save Lou from Ubersturmbanfuhrer Fetterman and his army of Fettermanazis)


As a Mayo American (aka he's fat), Lou would like you to know his opinions on stolen land, trans genocide, and Christianity existing.


Lou would also like you to know his opinions on the culture he's appropriating today being racially discriminated against by Hollywood. (HINT LOU: "greasy Italian" does not count as "Hellenistic")

And yes, you read that right: he really did just say the Odyssey was "oral tradition" that was "not written down", and if you wanted a different movie, you could try the Aenid,"or  one of Hesiod’s works".

Gonna go out on a limb and say that Lou literally just pulled that whole post from AI without checking what came out, or even really knowing a thing about it.

But then, as a refreshing change of pace, Lou actually posts about something he's qualified to discuss for once: gay tards getting into Pennsylvania politics!


If she weren't a woman, I'd half expect her to become his new Fetterman-senpai, but alas hell has no fury like a tranny trying to be publicly OK with a biohole.

 

[Random Troll]

But then, as a refreshing change of pace, Lou actually posts about something he's qualified to discuss for once: gay tards getting into Pennsylvania politics!
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If she weren't a woman, I'd half expect her to become his new Fetterman-senpai, but alas hell has no fury like a tranny trying to be publicly OK with a biohole.

That picture is so bad, I had to look up it wasn't a tranny.

Wikipaedo says:
"Benham was homeschooled through highschool and competed for many years at the National Christian Forensics and Communications Association, advancing to the national level multiple years in a row."
What the hell is that stupid shit about? Isn't forensics about solving crime, or is that now a hot air word too?

 

[Aunt Carol]

What the hell is that stupid shit about? Isn't forensics about solving crime, or is that now a hot air word too?

Nah, "forensics" is the 1700s term for Debate Club-style debating. Think of the Roman fora. Random yearbook from 1967:


Crime-solving "forensic science" is a newer term, but it's from the same route. "Science that's in service of the court of law" and of course legal cases were once heard... in the forum.

Etymology do be like that. Debate dorks are aware they're fighting a losing battle against CSI, but "forensics" sticks around in the names of larger organizations and national tournaments.



In conclusion this lady grew up an old-school nerd; good for her. Photographing her at that angle was an unkindness.

 

[Solid Snek]

Nah, "forensics" is the 1700s term for Debate Club-style debating. Think of the Roman fora. Random yearbook from 1967:
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Crime-solving "forensic science" is a newer term, but it's from the same route. "Science that's in service of the court of law" and of course legal cases were once heard... in the forum.

Etymology do be like that. Debate dorks are aware they're fighting a losing battle against CSI, but "forensics" sticks around in the names of larger organizations and national tournaments.



In conclusion this lady grew up an old-school nerd; good for her. Photographing her at that angle was an unkindness.

Good catch! I haven't read into Ms Benham yet, but I'm certain you're correct. I wonder what the odds are she'll out herself as a terf? Or worse, an honest-to-God homeschool Christian nerd??

The Chad Forensics Debate Nerd Lady vs the Virgin Spewing-Insults-on-Threads Catporn Addicted Troon.

edit: oh no no no no no, lol

From her Wiki:



So not only is she bisexual, the most noncommittal of the Alphabet people, and genuinely disabled with something more serious than "I eat too much ketchup and my iPad is missing a pixel", she also attended a Baptist seminary right out of homeschool.

I'm going to guess that Lou's shoutout was entirely a matter of performative obligation, and he has no interest in nor intends to follow up on Ms Benham in any way, but yeah she looks like she could be the makings of some quality content in the future. The Face That Launched a Thousand Chimpouts, as the anchuent Hellenistics used to say.

BONUS: her cat, Ravi, courtesy of Tiktok and Instagram.

0:52

0:26

0:10

Spoiler

Ravi's strong stance on pizza-related crimes sounds especially ominous for Lou...

 

[Norman B. Normal]

Gonna go out on a limb and say that Lou literally just pulled that whole post from AI without checking what came out, or even really knowing a thing about it.

An AI would know that Homer wrote The Odyssey.

 

[Solid Snek]

An AI would know that Homer wrote The Odyssey.

True, but I don't see how else he'd get "or  one of Hesiod’s works".

(my assumption re: Homer is that he asked for a summary, and the AI told him something about Greek oral tradition and epic poetry, which became "nobody wrote the Odyssey" in Lou's brain. I can guarantee Lou didn't/doesn't know what the Aeneid is - ironic seeing as it was basically a raceswap fanfic written by Italian Greekaboos who desperately wanted to be cool too* - and I can think of no other explanation for  than an AI having a stroke)

*: seriously. It's been ages since I read it, but iirc the basic conceit was, "what if some dudes from Troy escaped, had adventures, and became the first Italians?" There were a lot of stories like that floating around Europe clear up through the Modern period, usually linking <My Race Here> to either the Israelites or the Greeks/Trojans, and if Lou weren't such an illiterate pleb it'd be right up his alley.

Alas, he has more important things to read (namely gay furry monster romance paperbacks):


What they really need to do is adapt the Aeneid into the Wonder Womanverse. Aenash Silverwind, Daughter of Aphrodite, last surviving princess of Amazon Land and a titlion for some reason, who escaped the destruction of Themyscira and became the ancestress of all fat Italian spaghetti-eaters living in the Greater Pittsburgh Area... then Hollywood could race swap Aenash into a Nordic-Boer dickpig, instead of a Hellenistic titlion, and the prophecy would be complete.

 

[Morshu's Paradise]

Reminder that Louis Dominic Gagliardi III's supposed "Hellenistic ancestors" are actually Northern Italians (aka likely Germanic Lombard descendants) who lived somewhere that may have also had Greeks living there hundreds of years earlier. He had a single ancestor with a surname that may have been associated with Greeks. Possibly. So from that he's now Aristotle Franzopoulous.

 

[Aunt Carol]

and I can think of no other explanation for  than an AI having a stroke

Maybe it's a teaser for a Lou vs Jack Scalfani religious debate podcast. Battle of the Mushmouths. Let me hope!

So not only is she bisexual, the most noncommittal of the Alphabet people, and genuinely disabled with something more serious than "I eat too much ketchup and my iPad is missing a pixel", she also attended a Baptist seminary right out of homeschool.

She does seem actually autistic, not Tumblr autistic. And that's a fine (and tolerant) kitty, plus an appropriate sense of humor about cats if she made the videos. Probably never hear about her again, since she's a state rep focused on workers' rights and not LGBTQ idpol.

Lou, a mandarin, does not care about the working class.