💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hamburger Detractor]

BLIMEY

IS COOKIN WITH JACK SHOW AND TODAY WE GUNNA HAVE A LAZY MAN RECIPE INNIT

WE OFF TO START WITH SOME BEANS AND 3LB OF SAUSAGE

Which would be worse, British Cooking with Jack, or American Kays Cooking?

 

[semitooth]

Spoiler: archive: "5 MORE QUESTIONS FOR JACK"

32:45

 

[The Stranger]

Which would be worse, British Cooking with Jack, or American Kays Cooking?

As far as I can recall, Kay hasn't served raw meat because she burns everything. So while they might be equally disgusting, at least Kay's burnt BBQ won't give you parasites.

 

[the khat quaffer]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=YumrkhG1kk8local archive uploading

1:08 "how old are you now?"
"....Like, 59." You sound 159.

1:56 fat faggot remembers to put his jesus stick out
Jr. apparently told Jack he wants nothing to do with his youtube channel(s). Smart lad.

Spoiler: stupid fucking questions

1) what's a belief you held 20 years ago that you no longer hold?
Jack: That the US government is good.
Chorls: That vegetables were good for you because pesticides. Or because no pesticides. Or because native carcinogens. I don't know.

2) What's something people complain about today that people will laugh at 50 years from now? 6:35
Jack: Woke shit. Face masks were/are woke apparently. I kind of know what Jack is hinting at (it's stupid I'm sure) but I'm not gonna do his homework for him. C'mon Jackie, articulate your answers!
Charles: Climate change.

3) What's a skill everyone should learn before graduating high school? 11:54
Jack: How to press Play on the songs people want to hear Balancing the checkbook.
Chuck: i honestly don't know. I think he says how to use hand tools. He says chemistry isn't needed because "when's the last time you mixed chemicals in your house?" Chuck,please mix bleach with ammonia for an even cleaner floor. Make sure you're in a closed space for maximum cleanliness.
He then goes on to change his answer to "critical thinking," citing how people read headlines only to form an opinion. Jack. Citing how we're told to not eat bacon because it clogs your arteries. Jack.

21:05 "Did you ever do geometry? Where you do proofs?"
"The what? Oh, theorems, and the hypothesis*, and all that?"
Jacklore: highest math he ever went was pre-calc. Jack you couldn't find the square root of a root beer float.

4) What's a movie everyone loves that you think doesn't deserve its reputation? 23:00
Jack: Dirty Dancing.
23:30 DYING. YOU ARE DYING, JACK
Chonk: Mulan Rouge. Because gays and women. Historical inaccuracies or something.

5) What's something people pretend to enjoy because they're supposed to? 26:45
Jack: Being woke. Forgets the question. Changes answer to eating snails.
27:30 sus-ass statement there, Charles.
Suck: Drinking. Because people have to chase liquor with soda, sugary shit, etc. Compares it to eating vegetables. What's with the Scalfanis and vegetables?

I lost more brain cells from this f as in faggot-ass video than a decade+ of drinking alcohol, raw, no chaser half the time. Because I'm not a fucking pussy.

Jack cannot remember or answer these simple fucking questions most of the time. Chawls repeatedly gets cunty with him. Seems to be a recurring theme with these two. Also holy fuck Charles is so annoying. He's like an edgy kid that took a semester and a half of poli-sci and thinks/talks he knows everything. Somebody smack these bald cocksuckers across the back of the head, repeatedly. Fuck this entire family.

I want monetary compensation for having to listen to this.

Addendum:
*

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I doubt that fatty or Charles ever did pre calc lol

Not that pre calc is all that hard but they're retards who I doubt could pass basic algebra

 

[Tiresome]

Jack: How to press Play on the songs people want to hear Balancing the checkbook.

This is the most boomer answer possible. How many paper checks you or Money Mommy writing these days, you stunted faggot? I know you've probably wrote ZERO in your life, excepting possibly an apartment deposit in 1991 (that you lost for being a gigantic slob). Every expense a person has is now electronic and can show up within minutes in your bank register if not instantly, balancing a checkbook is to account for the drift period back when debits took days instead of milliseconds. But remember, this guy has nothing but sage advice.

 

[the khat quaffer]

This is the most boomer answer possible. How many paper checks you or Money Mommy writing these days, you stunted faggot? I know you've probably wrote ZERO in your life, excepting possibly an apartment deposit in 1991 (that you lost for being a gigantic slob). Every expense a person has is now electronic and can show up within minutes in your bank register if not instantly, balancing a checkbook is to account for the drift period back when debits took days instead of milliseconds. But remember, this guy has nothing but sage advice.

Much as it pains me to ever give Jack credit, he gave what is a pretty sensible answer just in the most boomer language possible. Jack meant "being smart about finances", which does not necessarily include writing paper checks. Charles filled in this detail for him.

All the more hilarious because Jack couldn't write a physical check if he tried, being a one-armed gimp. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume he never learned to write left-handed, shave himself left-handed, wipe his ass left-handed.

Oh, and it doesn't even matter because he spends copious amounts of Tammy's money on fast food, gook ovens, temu-brand kitchen gadgets... aka shit you don't need. Someone needs to teach Jack about Guns vs. Butter. Buddur. Somehow I think the argument would be lost on him after hearing the word "butter".

 

[Tiresome]

Jack meant

I'm sorry, this is the equivalent of taking a three month old belching up milk curds and going "Oh, he's worried about finances." The phrase "giving too much credit" cannot stretch far enough to even begin to cover anything Jack ever says.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I had to laugh because the person in my life who reminds me of Jack is also obsessed with Chili’s. “You get a lot of food and a drink for $10.99” according to him. Yeah but what does it taste like? Fried baloney at home is cheap too. Doesn’t mean I’d want to eat it for dinner three times a week. (TBH I probably could.)

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

All the more hilarious because Jack couldn't write a physical check if he tried, being a one-armed gimp. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume he never learned to write left-handed, shave himself left-handed, wipe his ass left-handed.

You are taking a big leap of faith that Jack did any of those things even when he had two functional arms.

 

[Super Hans v2]

I doubt that fatty or Charles ever did pre calc lol

Not that pre calc is all that hard but they're retards who I doubt could pass basic algebra

Charles is a fairly accomplished software developer, so he's had to have done calc, but since he's so confident in his retardation on every other subject that comes up he can't be more than a midwit.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

So I was curious and looked it up. 86 restaurants with stars. 20 of which are british cuisine. 11 french, 8 indian, 4 japanese, 3 italian, 3 spanish, etc. But even with the british, they still have to make a distinction between modern, traditional, and "creative". No one thinks you can't get food food in the UK, it's just not necessarily british food.

When the unofficial national dish of England is Tikka Masala you know something got a little skewed along the way.

I lost more brain cells from this f as in faggot-ass video than a decade+ of drinking alcohol, raw, no chaser half the time. Because I'm not a fucking pussy.

Just goes to show Fatty and Chawls have no clue.

This is the most boomer answer possible. How many paper checks you or Money Mommy writing these days, you stunted faggot? I know you've probably wrote ZERO in your life, excepting possibly an apartment deposit in 1991 (that you lost for being a gigantic slob). Every expense a person has is now electronic and can show up within minutes in your bank register if not instantly, balancing a checkbook is to account for the drift period back when debits took days instead of milliseconds. But remember, this guy has nothing but sage advice.

He's a boomer in mind and boomers still balance checkbooks. The rest of us just get the printout from the bank or, you know, don't spend money like it grows on trees.

I had to laugh because the person in my life who reminds me of Jack is also obsessed with Chili’s. “You get a lot of food and a drink for $10.99” according to him. Yeah but what does it taste like? Fried baloney at home is cheap too. Doesn’t mean I’d want to eat it for dinner three times a week. (TBH I probably could.)

Yeah the whole, "but it's cheap" only works when you're on a serious budget. And if you are, learn to fucking cook because it's cheaper and you know what you're getting.

 

[myhairisonfire]

Jack and Chorls

I do not like Charles. Please bring back the brother with the huge nipples to talk about their childhood more.

 

[The Stranger]

I do not like Charles. Please bring back the brother with the huge nipples to talk about their childhood more.

It's pretty funny how the only openly gay brother is the one with any emotional maturity

 

[Tiresome]

When the unofficial national dish of England is Tikka Masala you know something got a little skewed along the way.

Eh? Whitey-brand nations have long adopted the ways of spicy neighbors, and the US is no exception.

 

[AltisticRight]

Can we turn the scalfatties into fireworks?

 

[The Stranger]

Can we turn the scalfatties into fireworks?

I don't know, but we can slather some BBQ sauce on five pounds of plastic explosives and see what happens

 

[the khat quaffer]

I'm sorry, this is the equivalent of taking a three month old belching up milk curds and going "Oh, he's worried about finances." The phrase "giving too much credit" cannot stretch far enough to even begin to cover anything Jack ever says.

Broken clocks etc...broken cocks amirite

Can we turn the scalfatties into fireworks?

I would counsel against this. It'd be a regular Balloonfest '86 disaster.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I would counsel against this. It'd be a regular Balloonfest '86 disaster.

Nobody has enough helium to make Jack float away. To learn what precautions you need to remove Scalfanis with fireworks, you'd have to turn the clock back to 1970, Florence, Oregon.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Nobody has enough helium to make Jack float away. To learn what precautions you need to remove Scalfanis with fireworks, you'd have to turn the clock back to 1970, Florence, Oregon.
Ver archivo adjunto 9237350

I'd rather just have him explode. It's a waste of helium, rocket fuel, antimatter generating devices etc. to lift Cooking with Crisco even a few inches. The worldwide medical and science research industries would collapse due to helium scarcity