Hello all, I'd like to share my experience via the email I have directed to Selfridges Customer Services about the disappointing and uncomfortable experience I faced.
For those that are unaware, the London store offers a transgender service option for bra fitting on the website to book as an appointment:
https://bookings.selfridges.com/selfridges-body-denim/new_booking.html?companyId=37017#/service_list
Here it says "Our dedicated team makes every effort to ensure you feel comfortable and at ease during your fitting experience." which based on online feedback is generally true. However I went today and it seemed (due to either understaffing, ignorance of my appointment and/or no appropriately nominated staff available) that this wasn't the case at all for me. I made the booking weeks before the EHRC guidance dropped so attending felt even more oppressive given the atmosphere of transphobia in the country at the moment and I honestly just felt like a black sheep from both my own insecurities and the events of the day. I found out I'm a 38B at least.
Email: Dear Selfridges Customer Services,
I am writing to you after coming home from your offering of a transgender bra fitting service appointment with a suitable bra, but without the expected experience.
I had booked the appointment on 4th May for a Tuesday, 26th May appointment at 3 pm (with text confirmation and a reminder close to the day) after being recommended the service by a friend who saw there was positive feedback online from trans women using the service. The service on the website also provided a description that states: "Our dedicated team makes every effort to ensure you feel comfortable and at ease during your fitting experience." Therefore, I had confidence that this should be a good way to receive my first bra fitting as a trans woman since starting my medical transition, and I mentioned in the optional notes of the appointment booking that this would be my first bra fitting experience.
However, my experience on the day did not meet my expectations at all, to my disappointment. Even before checking in for my appointment, I had difficulty knowing exactly where I needed to go for the appointment beyond the vague direction of the Level 3 fitting spaces (of which there are multiple). As someone who prefers to plan out experiences in advance to reduce stress and anxiety (especially so for this nervous experience for any trans woman not used to bra fittings), this made me more anxious than needed in the lead-up to the appointment.
Around 8 minutes before my appointment time, I decided to check in early to make sure everything was ok with my appointment. I found the correct desk after asking another fitting room desk in the same area and attempted to check in. I showed the booking details page on my phone, which made it very clear I was there for a transgender bra fitting service, but I was met with confusion by the kind lady at the counter. She had to double-check with her other colleague that I indeed had a 3 pm appointment, which they confirmed. Moreover, I seemed to hear them discussing something along the lines that someone wasn't in to do this appointment for me (I assume a specialist/trained staff member who handles these appointments or at least someone comfortable to attend to me). I stood there in a quiet panic, believing that this was all for nought and that I was bringing undue attention to myself as a nuisance to be handled.
Eventually, the lady I initially spoke to asked me to follow her and directed me to an empty stall without further instruction beyond that I would be attended to. I was left sitting in the stall without an idea of what would come of my appointment for about 5-10 minutes. It was at least a long enough wait that I had to message a friend who was accompanying me that day to share that, thus far, the appointment experience was not what I expected and that I felt very uncomfortable at every step at that point, without any reassurances that I thought the service would provide me. That same lady did return to me after the wait and asked me what size I previously was wearing. This confused me as I had made it very clear in my notes that this would be my first bra fitting experience, so I did not have a professional idea of what my measurements were. I told her that I don't have bra-wearing experience beyond that, I measured myself to be approximately a band 38 chest. She noted this and then asked me to turn around and guessed I might be a 36C. This surprised me as a cup size too big, possibly, but I was open-minded to the guess since she is experienced at this thing. However, it did surprise me that I wasn't physically measured to at least confirm this. There is no description at all about what the process of this fitting would be like during the booking; beyond that, I would be made to feel comfortable. Never mind, I thought. She said she would be back and left me again. I waited, guessing she was probably procuring suitable bras for me, but this wasn't explicitly made clear, which I feel is needed when I mentioned in my notes that this is my first experience. I only assumed she was getting bras based on what I've read online about how these experiences usually work.
She came back to me with two bras initially and explained that there's a button to call for attendance, and left me to try on the bras.
However, she didn't check if I knew how to check if I was wearing it properly or how I could adjust a bra to be more comfortable or provide any guidance at all. I am fortunate that I have read and practised wearing bras before, but once again, I must emphasise that I wrote in the notes that this was my first ever bra fitting experience, and if some other trans woman was there who didn't have any experience, she would have been left to struggle and learn on her own.
Whilst I tried on the bras, I could overhear the staff being drawn in multiple directions by other customers, which I sympathised with and understood might be a case of the service being understaffed on the day.
However, it also struck me that I would not be uniquely attended to for this dedicated, bespoke experience of a transgender bra fitting service, but instead was treated to a regular, largely independent bra fitting experience that a typical, more experienced, average customer would have instead.
I pushed the button, and she politely knocked on my door to check in on me (even multiple times before I had pressed the button), and I opened the door to let her in. I said the initial one looked too big (the cup was too big), and she concurred before setting off for a new batch of potential replacements. This went on for about 30 minutes, and luckily, I did find one suitable bra that fit me and looked flattering when worn under my shirt. However, throughout that time, I was not able to have a staff member talk to me and ask if I had any questions. I did not feel attended to for my advertised transgender fitting because there were no steps taken to make me feel comfortable beyond the basic customer service they would provide anyone else. I was left unsure if I had made the staff uncomfortable because there was very little communication with me, and I felt so guilty that I had become an unwanted nuisance to their day that they never prepared for.
There was no discretion of service given to me at any step, except being allowed in a fitting stall. I was left awkwardly waiting to check in in the waiting area, looking uncomfortable and out of place and again when wanting to purchase my bra as I waited for other customers ahead of me to be attended to. If my needs were being thought of, I would have expected that they would quickly whisk me to checkout directly after I confirmed that I felt comfortable buying one of the bras to avoid me looking uncomfortable in the waiting area with a bra in my hand and sit wary of potentially judgmental and/or transphobic eyes. The whole thing felt like it was a problematic necessity for them to fulfil my bra fitting appointment, as clearly no thoughts or plan were in place for this transgender fitting booking on this day.
I was left disappointed and uncomfortable about this being my first ever bra fitting experience, and that this was the quality given to me for a bespoke transgender inclusive service. I am grateful that I did find at least one bra that felt comfortable to me and that the staff were still able to accomodate for me in the end, but I could not escape the feeling that I was anomalous and an issue that needed sorting rather than comforted and made welcome. I do not blame the kind staff who at least let me continue my expected appointment but I am left wondering if the appointment should have been rearranged by the staff if there was no appropriate experience to be had. My friend who accompanied me also felt that perhaps the staff should have offered me to reschedule, but maybe it was more kind for the staff not to suggest that to me. I do not wish ill on the service because I do believe this is a very essential and helpful service to a trans woman like me, but I do wish that the next trans person to use this gets a much better experience than I had.
Please review how this transgender fitting experience is meant to be handled so that it might be more comfortable for me (and others) should I choose to try again in the future (which I really would like to, as Selfridges generally is an excellent experience from previous visits).
Kind regards,
genocide 
R Couldn't handle hiding my identity, felt forced to "come out" in very risky circumstances. Didn't really "come out" as such but something close to it and it turned out pretty well, all things considered but my days of buying cute panties is over. Only boring male looking women's underwear but everything else in terms of clothing and colour is cool! Also always do what's best for your mental health and do what makes you feel good!
. Apparently in later versions the player characters have a stat called "passability" as well.
