Waking up in the USA as a sweet UPG2 poster / Two different versions:
Option A:
1. Wake up. Blood pressure rises as you hit X/Twitter on your phone and see "BLACK TEEN GETS 1 YEAR AND KEY TO THE CITY FOR MURDERING OLD WHITE MAN. WHITE MAN SAYS N WORD AND GETS LIFE IN NIGGER HELL DIARREHA PRISON". Roll around to grip your slightly obese Mexican/Cuban/Thai wife who grumbles, "No~, I'm sleeping, it's 5:30 am, stop, stop, stop."
2. Do all the dishes from last night. Scroll farms in various threads. Get a notification that
@StudMccool has posted various graphs about economic downfalls from the India Times. Proceed to call him a drunk nigger.
3. "Did anything happen this week?"
4. Drink black coffee with two jamo shots thrown in. Wonder why you have so much back pain.
5. Go to the grocery store because you forgot eggs, again. The store is eerily silent at 6:30 AM except for the five jeet families all running around. They are talking loudly on their phones. You want them to die.
6. "This isn't how America used to be..." you think as you check out at the self-checkout. People used to bag your groceries at some point, right? As you ponder this thought, you step outside to see a homeless person jacking off next to three black kids sniffing glue.
7. Get back home, and your wife is still asleep. Sit at the kitchen counter and scroll through the thread. Get into an argument about macro-economics, despite just yesterday you were struggling to assemble that bullshit curtain rod you bought from Amazon made by chinks.
8. Ex-wife calls you. "Hey, did you ever get those documents I sent you?" - Proceed to stare into space and acknowledge whatever she says with grunts. Hang up. Realize you forgot the eggs again. Scream internally. Go back to the forums.
Option B:
1. Wake up next to some big muslim guy. Your butthole seems oddly filled for once.
2. Hop out of your hammock and proceed to go outside your mud shack to get better reception on your cellphone.
3. "Guys, this the reason why this is so bad is because of the Jews. It's always the Jews. Quit being Zionist."
4. Watch a dog from an alleyway come over to your front door and die from exposure.
5. "Guys, the jews just legit bombed my dog to death."
6. Cellphone service cuts off, again. Nothing to do, so proceed to have hardcore gay anal sex with your boyfriend.
7. After that, the internet goes back up. Post about how the Jews run Disney, Hulu, and Wendy's.
8. Internet goes back down. Sigh.