Culture When Life Gave Her Ageism, She Created Oldster - Sari Botton started a Substack about getting older after finding employers were reluctant to hire her, a middle-aged woman. With more than 70,000 subscribers, she has clearly struck a nerve.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/03/style/oldster-substack-sari-botton-aging.html (a)

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Sari Botton, who edits two popular newsletters on Substack, Oldster and Memoir
Land, at her home in Kingston, N.Y.


Oldster, a Substack newsletter by Sari Botton, came to her in a dream. She even remembers the date it arrived: Aug. 31, 2021.

“I made a joke about it on Twitter and then I proceeded to realize, ‘Wait a minute, it’s a good idea,’” said Ms. Botton, a 60-year-old writer and editor. “I immediately went on Substack, launched it, and immediately people started signing up.”

Oldster is not, as the name might suggest, a newsletter focused exclusively on people who are conventionally considered old. As the online description of Oldster explains, “It’s about the experience of getting older, and what that means at different junctures.”

“Everyone who’s alive and aging is an oldster,” Ms. Botton said. As such, the Substack features personal essays by Ms. Botton and guest essayists (the most popular among the newsletter’s readers, by Gail Rice, a psychologist and writer, is titled “For My 70th Birthday I Hired an Escort”) and a weekly questionnaire that has been answered by such artists as the novelist John Irving, 84; the Emmy-winning filmmaker Ava DuVernay, 53; and the actress Rosie O’Donnell, 63. Ms. Botton said contributors ranged in age from 30 to 99. The newsletter also features “Ask a Sober Oldster,” a monthly series in partnership with the Small Bow, a recovery and mental health newsletter and podcast.

Today, Oldster has more than 70,000 subscribers, and another newsletter Ms. Botton began in 2022, Memoir Land, has more than 35,000. Whereas Oldster focuses on the experience of aging, Memoir Land explores the craft of writing through interviews with authors and publishes original personal essays.

Ms. Botton, who has published a memoir recounted through essays called “And You May Find Yourself …” and two anthologies about loving and leaving New York City, has taught writing at universities like SUNY-Albany, and this April, she will lead an essay workshop at the Southern Vermont Writers’ Conference. And two original essays featured in Oldster received notable mentions in “The Best American Essays” anthologies — one in 2023, another in 2024. “I really love helping people develop as writers,” she said. “It’s very, very satisfying.”

Ms. Botton held a sold-out, live Oldster event in Kingston, N.Y., in October, and, on March 4, she will host a variety hour at Joe’s Pub in Manhattan, featuring, among others, writers Ophira Eisenberg, Mike Albo and Joyce Wadler.

In interviews, Ms. Botton discussed memoir writing, aging and finding career satisfaction at 60. They have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

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“It did not occur to me ever that I would be starting the best phase of my career at 60,” Ms. Botton said.

You were the essays editor for Longreads, an online platform that publishes long-form nonfiction. How did you go from that to forging your own path on Substack?

It was out of necessity, somewhat. I left Longreads in June 2020 — things were shifting there, and I chose to leave, but I was also warned every other week that I might be in the huge batch of people that were getting laid off. So the writing was on the wall. When I left, I was 54, and I just assumed that I would be able to get another similar job. And I could barely get an interview. If I got an interview, I couldn’t get a second interview, and people were saying really ageist things to me. The people who were getting the jobs I was applying for were 30, 35.

I had a little bit of a cushion that gave me time to finish my memoir. As I was finishing it, I just launched Oldster. I had started a series at Longreads called Fine Lines. It was popular, and I really loved it, but I also knew that I wasn’t done with the subject. I was only getting older, you know?

What were some of the ageist things said to you?

A 30-year-old interviewing me for a job said, “I’m surprised a legend like you would be interested in this job.” It did not feel like a compliment. A 40-something interviewing me asked, “With all you’ve done already in this field, wouldn’t you want to move on to something different by now?”

You’re publishing Oldster four times a week, and it has become a full-time job. Did it start out that way?

Initially, I was publishing, like, twice a week. I started the Oldster questionnaire that first week. Off the top of my head, I just was like, I want to ask people questions. I want to ask them the same questions, because that would make it easier for me to interview lots of people.

In the beginning, it was an essay a week — it was just me, and then the Oldster questionnaire. And then people started pitching me, and I started reaching out to people. I really did not have a plan. I was just finishing up my memoir. I figured I’d somehow find a job or learn a new skill and get a different kind of job.

It’s more than a full-time job, because I also have “Memoir Land,” that also publishes five days a week. So I’m putting in like 70 or more hours a week. But I love it. I’ve never been happier in my career.

Wow.

It did not occur to me ever that I would be starting the best phase of my career at 60, which I just turned in October. I’ve been building it for four and a half years. I’ve put so much of myself into it, and I continue to. People love what I’m doing. I get the nicest notes.

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“Everyone who’s alive and aging is an oldster,” Ms. Botton said.

What makes this the best phase of your career?

I was always either behind or ahead of my peers. I was the first kid in my kindergarten class to read. I was the last girl in gym class to wear a training bra. Everything was off. I was the last one to get a boyfriend. I had this anxiety throughout my life, that I still have, that I’m not doing things at the right time. So publishing Oldster, engaging with other people’s feelings about getting older and their experiences of it, allows me to immerse myself in a subject that matters very much to me.

I like that “Oldster” isn’t exclusively about “old” people.

Chloé Caldwell took the Oldster questionnaire when she was 37, and one of the things she talked about was how many things changed for her between 35 and 36. She noticed, first of all, that men on the street were noticing her less. And the bigger thing was, at the time, she was trying to get pregnant. Now she’s written a whole memoir about that called “Trying.” At 35, she was a “viable” fertility candidate. At 36, she was a “geriatric” fertility candidate.

Do you have any dream Oldster interviews?

Patti Smith. She embodies something that I really admire in a certain kind of woman, where you can see the little girl in her, no matter how old she gets.





I mean, boomers need their own space, I suppose.

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With the occasional doomposting.

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Thread music:

 
She looks like a dude with a cheap wig. No, thank you.

Tell you what, you let me get first crack at that demographic, then you could have what’s left.
Man, I love you guys.

I say that the definition of middle age is in fluctuation and you faggots take it as "LOL YOU WANT TO FUCK GRANNIES"
Nobody wants to fuck grannies, that's why they are so mad
 
it's a blog to convince the world she's still fuckable instead
That is what this kind of stuff is ALWAYS about with no exception. Be it about age, about being fat, about being brown, about being gay, it's always a desperate cry for everyone to suddenly think they deserve a Hallmark romance with weird sex. They seem to think it's an issue of how they're "marketed" and if that's "fixed" things will work out.
 
The average age of admission to a nursing home is somewhere in the 70s, with the overall life expectancy being not much higher.

People's perception is skewed because everyone has one or two relatives that lives to be 90+ in good health and that leaves an impression, but that isn't the norm. People think much less about all the other relatives that died in their 70s/80s from old age. Even today, people dying in their 60s from various health issues is still somewhat common.

"Middle age" is generally considered to be 40-60/64. People calling 35 "middle aged" are ridiculous. "Middle age" is not a mathematical calculation of tge midpoint of full life expectancy; it's the middle ages of adulthood, representing physical and cognitive/ maturity changes - some upward, some downward.

Life expectancy right now in the US (for people born now*) is 79: 76.5 for men and 81.4 for women. Average. That number is skewed downward by infant & child mortality, and people dying particularly young from disease, accident, etc. Relatively few people in the US die of just "being old" in their 70s.

The average 126 years ago in the US (1900) was about 49 (worldwide around 32) - certainly infant mortality skewed things downward more then even than now, but that's still a 30-year gain in the average.

* that's a projection for people being born now. All of us & our peers have of course lower averages.
 
When I left, I was 54, and I just assumed that I would be able to get another similar job. And I could barely get an interview. If I got an interview, I couldn’t get a second interview, and people were saying really ageist things to me.
I gotta press X to doubt this claim. Someone saying "ageist" things to you while interviewing you is openly discriminating against you as age (40+) is a protected class. If this really happened and this woman didn't sue the shit outta whoever said "ageist" things to her, then she is retarded.
 
If this really happened
It didn't. Examples of the "agism" were already given and surprise surprise, its just interviewers expressing surprise at someone overqualified applying for a shitty job. The reason she couldn't get hired was because none of them believed that she wanted anything more than a temporary gig to pay bills while she lined up the job she actually wanted.
 
The average age of admission to a nursing home is somewhere in the 70s, with the overall life expectancy being not much higher.

People's perception is skewed because everyone has one or two relatives that lives to be 90+ in good health and that leaves an impression, but that isn't the norm. People think much less about all the other relatives that died in their 70s/80s from old age. Even today, people dying in their 60s from various health issues is still somewhat common.
The average age of death is about 80, but a lot of people have their perspective skewed if they come from a family with genetic health problems. A lot of family members in my parent's generation died of colon cancer, which is preventable if you catch it in time. Unfortunately, average age of first screening recommended by doctors is 50 while, in my family, 50 is the age where you find out you're at stage 4 and that blood you've been shitting out for a year wasn't just a particularly nasty hemorroid. Ass cancer is also rising in younger populations thanks to our shitty diets and the Vax, so the perception that people are dying younger is going to be skewed by this phenomenon. If screening improves and everyone gets anal-probed in their 30s, that could be enough to skew people's perceptions about how long we all live back up.

Both of my parents came from families where most members cacked it by 60, thanks to cancer and alcoholism. My parents managed to fend both off for a long time, and died around 80. I'm not saying there can't be a random, tragic death from disease or accident, but such things are going to garner people's attentions more than granny dying in her sleep at 87 in the nursing home.
 
I think the middle age perception shifts as you age. But generally speaking people 65+ are considered old.

Let me tell something truly horrifying: do you know that a vast majority of Millennials are now middle-aged?
 
People's perception is skewed because everyone has one or two relatives that lives to be 90+ in good health and that leaves an impression, but that isn't the norm.
I guess I come from good stock because the only family members I’ve had that had to go to a facility it was literally end of life and they were in their late 80’s. They rest of the grandparents / great aunts and uncles lived in their homes into their 90’s.

I can relate to this woman only because some dipshit I briefly worked with (in her early 20’s) legit believed 30 was “old” and one of our highest performers should be forced to retire because he was in his late 50’s. She was also a Disney adult. She is no longer around because to no one’s surprise, she didn’t know how to do shit but thought her whole year in the industry made her an expert. These people exist and a good amount are probably in HR.
 
Today was the two-year anniversary of my mother-in-law passing away. She was 95, went through a lot in life, tough old bird, sure did like her.

'Old' is a state of mind, on the part of the beholder and the person. Going to be 71 in a few months, body ages, but as long as the brain keeps chugging along shall never consider myself 'old'. Fuck that 'old' shit.
 
Última edición:
I always saw it as
Young = <25
Adult = 25 - 35
Middle Aged = 35 - 55
Old = 55 - 70
Lich = 70+

Yeah I don’t know what tf copium people in this thread are smoking because your definitions are literally the only ones I’ve heard or thought of my entire life. I mean FFS a lot of the “senior discounts” start at 55. There’s “55+ communities”. At 55 and over, YOU ARE OLD.

Middle aged is 35-55, but more importantly it’s the life stage when you have school aged kids and are still working. It’s usually seen as a grind-y life stage where the stress can sometimes cause illness and divorce.

In most industries, people are really productive in middle aged.

This lady is, ironically, just fucking old and in denial.
 
Yeah I don’t know what tf copium people in this thread are smoking because your definitions are literally the only ones I’ve heard or thought of my entire life. I mean FFS a lot of the “senior discounts” start at 55. There’s “55+ communities”. At 55 and over, YOU ARE OLD.

Middle aged is 35-55, but more importantly it’s the life stage when you have school aged kids and are still working. It’s usually seen as a grind-y life stage where the stress can sometimes cause illness and divorce.

In most industries, people are really productive in middle aged.

This lady is, ironically, just fucking old and in denial.
I can see 50's being considered middle aged nowadays, but we'll have to see how Gen X ages to really change any definitions.
 
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