DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[GodModule]

There's no manual

clip_01KJCECTBR9BZKGWPWBFNC32AM.mp4

8BitDo also have pairing instructions on the actual pad. Atleast both my M30 and SN30 do

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

Controller #1 $40 and he is already crashing out because it might only work via bluetooth. Yep bluetooth only he is not happy.

The wildest thing to me about that controller is before buying it he didn't even bother looking up how it connects to the switch.
Then you get that absolute alien behaviour of him not being able to find the bluetooth menu on the switch 2, a console he owns since it came out and he never took time to look at the settings between streams.

No efforts, no curiosity, just consumerism. I'll just point out that the switch 2 is compatible with all switch 1 controllers so he could have just re-used his other controllers.

He can't even be bothered to read product pages, he must CONSOOM.

 

[Cardinal Cardinal]

The wildest thing to me about that controller is before buying it he didn't even bother looking up how it connects to the switch.
Then you get that absolute alien behaviour of him not being able to find the bluetooth menu on the switch 2, a console he owns since it came out and he never took time to look at the settings between streams.

No efforts, no curiosity, just consumerism. I'll just point out that the switch 2 is compatible with all switch 1 controllers so he could have just re-used his other controllers.

He can't even be bothered to read product pages, he must CONSOOM.

Don't forget he thought 90 dollars was too much for the pro controller 2, so he decided to spend 98 dollars.

 

[Pargon]

8BitDo also have pairing instructions on the actual pad. Atleast both my M30 and SN30 do

They all come with a little paper manual, which also has considerate things like URLs for their online documentation and troubleshooting. Last I was there their site still had that Chinese feel to it but at least had better than average layout and navigation.

Those manuals are pretty small though, and they don’t look like chicken tenders, so I could see how Phil missed it.

 

[Cpt. Greybar]

There's no manual

clip_01KJCECTBR9BZKGWPWBFNC32AM.mp4

Because baby boy faggot was always told by his failure scumbag parents how special he was and how he was always right about everything, Phil's natural first assumption is that if he didn't see X while opening his toy, then X doesn't exist. Any of our assumptions would be "Oh I must have overlooked the manual", but Phil's first assumption is "those idiots didn't include a manual".

Same with that magic carpet clip from a page or two back, his first assumption is "they must have accidentally left the ability to use the magic carpet out of the game".

It's fucking insane, and I think his parents should be like... I don't know, fined or something for raising such a piece of shit. And Jaha should be ostracized for not kicking Phil's ass when given the chance.

 

[neger psykolog]

I wish I had a time machine to see how phil is doing in 10-15 years from now

I need to see if all my predictions come true:

- He's even more mentally challenged
- he's viewership is around 60 viewers
- Wife dies from weight issues or some disease
- Phil tries to vlog and he runs into trouble and never does it again ( he's burgerplanet but even more of a bitch ass loser)
- IRS is knocking on his door
- He moves back home and takes his parents place and gambles
- He talks so much shit to the point justin wong shit talks about on twitter
- multiple other casino style arc's from other people that fail like the rest
- He finally speaks about pandalee
- John Rambo gets interviewed on a youtube vid for a documentary style dsp roast
- Dsp podcast becomes full time and he quits games, begging 9-5 streams
- Phil comes out as gay after khets death
-Phil goes back to twitch

This is all i can think of

Oh yeah and Phil's hands give out and he retires from fighting games

This shit is so much like groundhog day. He's almost the same every day - totally insane, but things change like 0.1% each day, so when you look at him again in like 6 months he's changed, but its still just a bit of change.

All the people watching him and laughing at him have no stake in this shit heap but this is Phil's life every day he wakes up, it is so much like groundhog day - wherein he could wake up and change things, but he's just doing groundhog day the same way almost every day. There is absolutely no reason Phil couldn't wake up tomorrow and do things to try and avoid the things you've listed. But we all know that isn't going to happen.

There is one constant in Phil's groundhog day universe though: outside of all the "little things" and outside factors you listed, he is gay.

 

[Sampi]

It's called depression .

 

[Windy Moors]

This melting face faggot really took down his banana video that HE MADE AND PUT LYRICS ON so he cannot ''lose''

This guy can never take a real L, he MUST not let muh trolls get a victory. (In his head he's won always because that's the only safe space he has)

The banana song video is still up on his channel, it is just unlisted:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvcv5VEh8K8

Phil turned the comments off after Kino Casino shared the URL on stream. I archived the video here in case he does dirty delete it.

 

[MAWBD2]

Don't forget he thought 90 dollars was too much for the pro controller 2, so he decided to spend 98 dollars.

Mature adult with business degree at work.

 

[Factual OST Aficionado]

Those Sarah Bond takes could've been a fingernail munch, Phil

 

[Fridge Raider]

There is absolutely no reason Phil couldn't wake up tomorrow and do things to try and avoid the things you've listed.

Well, there's one reason... Phil being Phil. But as far as like the physics of the universe go I agree. He absolutely could even now salvage this "career" but he looks at the mountain of things he has to do and decides it's easier to beg the lonely wheelchairs for money instead. And he'd need to have passion, which he doesn't. He better hope Ryan and ICS don't get bored or move on.

 

[marlimar]

Phil has no kids, has no nieces or nephews

His sister (adopted cousin Melissa) has several mulatto kids, it's probably for the best they don't interact.. would you want your kids around DSP? My daughters ask me why I watch the "peepee man" and I have no good answer...

 

[neger psykolog]

Ver archivo adjunto 8621437 Ver archivo adjunto 8621467
Controller #1 $40 and he is already crashing out because it might only work via bluetooth. Yep bluetooth only he is not happy.

Ver archivo adjunto 8621497 Ver archivo adjunto 8621522

Controller #2 $58 DSP was surprised that the Pokemon one is on sale compared to the black one which was $64. Shitting on the Nintendo Pro Controller for being so expensive.

I don't think he is gonna like either of these long term so this is $100 wasted.


I always pick up some 8BitDo for cheap during black friday and the holidays but of course DSP has to wait until they are only up for full price

I've had some stuff change in my life and don't play vidya or game or be online that much. I don't disparage it as a hobby and a valuable past time for a lot of people. But given how shit vidya has become in general its been hard in recent years to really be that much of a fanboy when it comes to the gayming slop that comes out.

Having said that, I can't imagine being over the age of 40 and ordering Nintendo limited edition Pokemon controllers with literal yellow paint slapped on them and trying to be at all discerning about their bluetooth connectivity. These are clearly products aimed at children.

I wouldn't judge so much if he just bought one new controller every once in a while but he's just spamming amazon and ordering literal kids shit - how the fuck can anyone live like this and have a pokemon controller be the highlight of the day. The "best" part of all this is that he's never happy with anything and just sits there bitching.

I just did an Amazon order for a few things I "needed" and I remove quite a few things to get the final bill down and was like "ok, maybe I don't need that just yet", but they were all things for "life" or cooking or making coffee that will hopefully functionally "improve" my day to day life - with Amazon slop products its hard to say and anyone can get in the habit of constantly ordering shit.

There's so many wannabe gayming channels and Disney adults that order slop just like this, day in, day out, ordering more and more slop. They may as well collect Funko pops.

Maybe I'm just old - but then again I never got into buying stuff with paint slapped over it and preferred more plain stuff. I just can't imagine being 40 and literally spending hours of my day unpacking a fucking yellow paint gaymign controller that I ordered from amazon, most likely on a payment plan, using money I begged hardcore for, knowing ahead of time that I was just going to bitch and moan about it and then opening it and just complaining about the fucking thing.

Phil Burnell you dumb nigger. You already know ahead of time that you're going to dislike this shit and complain about it, so why order it? Why don't you do something you actually enjoy doing and get a fucking hobby.

If I went and visited some young relatives right now, they would be the only people remotely excited about a nintendo yellow paint controller.

It's so obvious he's a total degenerate gambling addict in every way, shape and form. If its not WWE Champions then its ordering dumb shit from Amazon. He's such a piece of shit that I find it hard to be sympathetic but this is so fucking miserably, depressing and sad. Now he has the controller - guess what? He gets to play games on a children's console that he knows he is going to universally hate and he's going to have to do it every single day for the rest of his life at this point.

I find it hard to think of a more miserable existance. It'd be like being forced to sit in a movie theatre and watch every single movie that comes out even though you hate it.


You know when you go to a shitty strip mall or run down mall? And you pass one of those kiosks that sells phone or video games? And its usually some old miserable person. And you just know that shit is going to go out of business but that person has to turn up every single day.

That's what Phil basically is doing - he's the independent style shopkeeper at the run down strip mall video game kiosk. The mall next door drove away all the customers but Phil signed a deal with the devil and has to turn up every day. Instead of selling games to kids, he is buying them and the yellow paint controllers himself and trying to show off to literally mentally handicapped people and kids how cool he is because he got a new controller.

Day in, day out and the kiosk just gathers more dust.


edit:
And just imagine he doesn't have a single friend to show his stupid shit to or talk to, his wife doesn't give a shit about this dumb shit either. The only "friends" he has are the people who probably talk to him behind the scenes and are deep level trolls/enablers and his prestream chat which is his therapy session.

Imagine pushing past 40 and having literally no friends because you're such a narcissistic and selfish piece of shit. There are probably convicted child molesters and child killers who have more friends than Phil does.

 

[Fridge Raider]

I just did an Amazon order for a few things I "needed" and I remove quite a few things to get the final bill down and was like "ok, maybe I don't need that just yet", but they were all things for "life" or cooking or making coffee that will hopefully functionally "improve" my day to day life - with Amazon slop products its hard to say and anyone can get in the habit of constantly ordering shit.

I am trying to move towards a spartan existence as far as the shit I have. I think having less stuff helps you focus more on what matters. Of course we all need things, like a coffee maker, pans, shoes and clothing, but I think the less we have the more we find value in the meaningful parts of life. Money does indeed by happiness to some extent, having nothing is a miserable existence but you can't take it with you.

Or if you wanna be a faggot about it I've heard that when you're trying to pare down your belongings you should ask "does this bring me joy?" and if it doesn't toss it. That one is gayer but useful to consider.

There are levels between owning nothing and hoarding like Phil but I think that in a world pushing us to buy things to make us happy, owning less helps reinforce that no, actually, owning things does not make you happy. At best it's a quick hit of dopamine before you toss it in the spare bedroom and it sits there until you mo- wife throws it away to make room for more.

 

[BlastMonk]

I am trying to move towards a spartan existence

Off topic but our idea of a spartan excistence being one of bare refurbishments and not living in luxury is the opposite of actual Spartans who were all lesiure citizens, each one expected to have 1 to 3 helots (slave) and being forbidden by law to have a profession. They weren't professinal soldiers like we in modernity imagine, they were merely obligated by law to take up arms for the state when the need arises.
So real Phil leads a more tradtional and real spartan existence, he has dents instead of helots pay for his life and take care of all his needs (gin and gambling) and has no real profession.

 

[DerelictOnion]

Off topic but our idea of a spartan excistence being one of bare refurbishments and not living in luxury is the opposite of actual Spartans who were all lesiure citizens, each one expected to have 1 to 3 helots (slave) and being forbidden by law to have a profession. They weren't professinal soldiers like we in modernity imagine, they were merely obligated by law to take up arms for the state when the need arises.
So real Phil leads a more tradtional and real spartan existence, he has dents instead of helots pay for his life and take care of all his needs (gin and gambling) and has no real profession.

Phil! What is your profession?
BEG! BEG! BEG! BEG!

 

[Coke Zero]

- John Rambo gets interviewed on a youtube vid for a documentary style dsp roast

This one got me thinking- what would be the holy grail of dsp content?

I've always wanted a john rambo and/or pandalee interview where they talk about what he was like off camera, particularly what was his autism and alcoholism was like in person in just his day to day life.

Five years ago we all would've said a sidescrollers or steve cambian style interview where his hoofs are held to the fire and he's forced to admit to all his lies, which we kind of got but it could have been better, he still skirted past really admitting much if anything.

I would also love a 20 second clip of phil out in the wild waddling around the liquor store buying his handles of gin for the week.

 

[Fridge Raider]

Off topic but our idea of a spartan excistence being one of bare refurbishments and not living in luxury is the opposite of actual Spartans who were all lesiure citizens, each one expected to have 1 to 3 helots (slave) and being forbidden by law to have a profession. They weren't professinal soldiers like we in modernity imagine, they were merely obligated by law to take up arms for the state when the need arises.
So real Phil leads a more tradtional and real spartan existence, he has dents instead of helots pay for his life and take care of all his needs (gin and gambling) and has no real profession.

Interesting. I did know that they were just citizens, and that the richer you were the higher your station. Like all the rich guys got horses and the poors were rank and file. But I'm reading a book on Roman history I haven't finished yet. I also know that the richest amongst them lived in opulence.

 

[marlimar]

I wouldn't judge so much if he just bought one new controller every once in a while but he's just spamming amazon and ordering

I've been told it's called an obsession, DSP is obsessed with many things including drinking alcohol, controlling his streams like temu hitler, and buying shit. I've been praying about my obsession with spending since I quit drinking and the struggle is real.

Obsession

 

[Balr0g]

It's called depression .

Or midlife crisis