Could You Coach a Young Chris Chan Into an Athlete?

[Hallucinogenic Penguin]

You are sent back in time to when CWC was 13 years old and have been made a teacher/coach at his high school.


You are given an initial $3 million to live off of in 1990’s Virginia. (buy housing, groceries, utilities, etc). Whatever money from this batch that is left over will not teleport to the present.


Your task is to make CWC good at least in one sport, but there is bonuses for each sport.

You can relive this scenario only 3 times, and the scenario will end the moment CWC graduates from high school. If you fail to make him good at a sport, you don’t win any money and are sent back to our universe in the present.

Basketball: $25 million
Football: $25 million
Baseball: $15 million
Soccer: $10 million
Track and Field: $5 million
Swimming: $5 million
Cross Country: $2.5 million
Hockey: $30 million

 

[OrionBalls]

Has his family heard of the Special Olympics? It might be right up his alley. Teach him some discipline, time management skills, and he might even make friends!

 

[Le b0wski]

So paying me and I get to create a time paradox?

 

[Squanto Airi]

He never had the makings of a varsity athlete.

 

[Taser Confetti]

been made a teacher/coach at his high school.

I’ve made Chris the mascot of the basketball team. Now pay me my 25 million please.

 

[Jason Wynn]

I’ll teach him how to play fantasy football. You didn’t specify what the exact nature of the sport would have to entail.

Money please.

 

[meager]

Does convincing the school to give him participation trophies count?

 

[Taser Confetti]

I’ll teach him how to play fantasy football. You didn’t specify what the exact nature of the sport would have to entail.

Money please.

Fuck off, my plan at least involves him actually showing up to games in a costume and you’ve just got him on the internet. The money’s mine.

 

[AnneRipper1010]

He might be able to stay still enough on the far right side of a baseball field

 

[Waifu Days]

I could only imagine. Chris is so quick to arrogance, he would not only be convinced he was already the greatest, but he'd bitch the moment he gets left in the dust. Everyone would be a cheater except for him.

 

[Boldizar]

Does competitive motherfucking count as a sport?

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

what am I a fucking magician? that doughy motherfucker gets exhausted looking at the cover of Madden '97