Iran Crisis & the 2026 War between Iran and the United States, Gulf States, and Israel - Please focus on news and coverage, not argumentation.

[JeanRob1]

The IRGC is threatening France with suicide bombings after France agreed to allow the EU to designate them as a terrorist organization

Please do. Every terrorist attack means new votes to remove muslims

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

I can’t handle any more blue balls.

Have some military memes to sate your appetite for destruction.

This is probably the first military edit from 1991:

 

[1999 prick]

The IRGC is threatening France with suicide bombings after France agreed to allow the EU to designate them as a terrorist organization

Ver archivo adjunto 8494805

https://snn.ir/fa/news/1363022/%D8%AA%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B4%D8%AC%D9%88%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D9%85%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%A8%D9%84-%D8%B3%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B3%D9%87

This is outside the French Embassy in Tehran

It's all fucking jeets man.
I have no idea how the IRGC recruits them when they don't even speak their language.

 

[Brain Problems]

So semi-serious question: let's say, for the sake of argument, I had friends or family in Tehran. Would the thread recommend telling them to get out of dodge and go somewhere a bit quieter for the next couple weeks? Seems like if anywhere was going to get insane if/when it really pops off it would be there.

 

[Onepumpplumpchump]

So semi-serious question: let's say, for the sake of argument, I had friends or family in Tehran. Would the thread recommend telling them to get out of dodge and go somewhere a bit quieter for the next couple weeks? Seems like if anywhere was going to get insane if/when it really pops off it would be there.

They're better off just leaving the country.

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

So semi-serious question: let's say, for the sake of argument, I had friends or family in Tehran. Would the thread recommend telling them to get out of dodge and go somewhere a bit quieter for the next couple weeks? Seems like if anywhere was going to get insane if/when it really pops off it would be there.

If they can't get out of Tehran tell them to stay away from any IRGC or government buildings. They should also make sure IRGC and government officials don't live near them.


The deployment of American air defense systems and munitions to the Middle East appears to be reaching its peak. In the last 24 hours, over 20 C-17 2 C-5M cargo aircraft have entered or are en route to the CENTCOM area of responsibility. Most of them have departed from the Ramstein base in Germany. It's believed that most of these aircraft carry Patriot and THAAD systems or munitions.


Over the past 24 hours, three large Antonov An-124 heavy transport aircraft, along with an Ilyushin cargo plane, have reportedly landed in Iran.️ Observers suggest the flights may be linked to Larijani’s recent visit to Moscow. This would explain the Tehran to Moscow flight yesterday.

We're now sending actually a larger number of ships to Iran.

Hopefully we'll make a deal. If we do make a deal, that's good.

If we don't make a deal, we'll see what happens.

He said similar things before Maduro got churroed.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

So semi-serious question: let's say, for the sake of argument, I had friends or family in Tehran. Would the thread recommend telling them to get out of dodge and go somewhere a bit quieter for the next couple weeks? Seems like if anywhere was going to get insane if/when it really pops off it would be there.

Hypothetically I’d say shit is about to go down and very likely to this weekend or next. Make that what you will. They know their situation and such but yeah they should have a 72 hour kit and make scarce in Minecraft.

https://www.ready.gov/kit#:~:text=Water%20(one%20gallon%20per%20person,chargers%20and%20a%20backup%20battery

 

[Thomas Talus]

Have some military memes to sate your appetite for destruction.

Japan vs China.mp4

I would bet on Idol Defense Force Hummingbird there over the parade princesses that are going to have to be sealifted and probably have pot metal for armor.

 

[draggs]

I would bet on Idol Defense Force Hummingbird there over the parade princesses that are going to have to be sealifted and probably have pot metal for armor.

As we saw with the churroing, the superior dancer(s) win. China keep taking LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

I would bet on Idol Defense Force Hummingbird there over the parade princesses that are going to have to be sealifted and probably have pot metal for armor.

The JSDF has the power of anime and waifus on their side, the PLA has nothing.

As we saw with the churroing, the superior dancer(s) win. China keep taking LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Maduro had better dance moves and his own EDM remix of speech and he still got taken in his underwear by Delta Force. The Ayatollah is playing it smart by not releasing dance videos.

 

[dissociating]

So semi-serious question: let's say, for the sake of argument, I had friends or family in Tehran. Would the thread recommend telling them to get out of dodge and go somewhere a bit quieter for the next couple weeks? Seems like if anywhere was going to get insane if/when it really pops off it would be there.

Worst case shelter in basements, bring supplies of preferably non-perishables, large supplies of water, light sources, probably a portable stove, warm clothes, blankets and probably a heating source given it's Winter in Iran currently. I'm sure the rest are obvious.

 

[Chongqing]

*Small note/edit I wanted to quickly add to further my theory. Blackbody is a scientific idea related to electromagnetic radiation. But that's just me reaching for ideas to correlate the call sign Blackbody with the nuke sniffer.

It could also just be related to the idea that if you drop ordinance on someone, their body gets all charred and black (and would therefore just be some random call sign).

When I heard blackbody, my mind went to war photos.

But your theory is intriguing and possible.

 

[Chuckwagon]

What they need in that first 180 days isn't de-wahabification but desalination. Another 20000 dead murderous dune coons won't suddenly cause water to flow from decades-dry qanats or reservoirs.

I think this is what Pahlavi trying so hard to buddy up to Israel is about, more-so than just the history of his dad being Israel's friend back in the day. Like them or hate them, the Jews have undeniably put a ton of tech points into their desalination tree, and he really wants to import such tech into Iran if/when the Mullahs go down. Buying Israeli desalination tech, replicating their plants and hiring experienced Jewish technicians to help oversee & organize work at the Iranian desalination plants would undoubtedly be a far better use of Iranian money than sinking ever more of it into the Ayatollah's terrorist network abroad & their dumbass water (mis)management schemes at home.

 

[1999 prick]

So semi-serious question: let's say, for the sake of argument, I had friends or family in Tehran. Would the thread recommend telling them to get out of dodge and go somewhere a bit quieter for the next couple weeks? Seems like if anywhere was going to get insane if/when it really pops off it would be there.

Depends on the first attack.
Trump wants to achieve a one and done job without Iran flailing its arms around shooting whatever military resources they have left sporadically, and the chances of whatever drones or missiles Iran launches failing and hitting themselves or civilians aren't zero.
Both are likely to happen and if they are stuck in Tehran the very least they can try is the farthest parts of Tehran with some distance from roads, the cardinal direction doesn't matter as I imagine all 4 will be utilized if the IRGC fails and makes an attempt in escaping. (Turkey, Caspian Sea, Afghanistan, Bandar Abbas)

Though I imagine they already had experience when Israel started a war with them, I trust that more than whatever autistic survival strategy I cooked up.

 

[Salty Potatoes]

large supplies of water,

In Tehran? Where is anyone supposed to get that?

 

[dissociating]

In Tehran? Where is anyone supposed to get that?

you get it.

 

[teriyakiburns]

In Tehran? Where is anyone supposed to get that?

The australians have led the way

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

The australians have led the way

https://youtube.com/watch?v=bIfMAhK7Boo

If anyone speaks ill of Tank Girl in this thread you will be reported as an IRGC agent.

BREAKING NEWS: My source in Tehran has provided me with their war plans:

When I asked him how a B-2 would launch from a carrier and how Iran would station their S-4000s on said aircraft carrier he responded, "Inshallah, brother, Inshallah." Trump doesn't know what he's up against.

 

[Crex Crex]

If anyone speaks ill of Tank Girl in this thread you will be reported as an IRGC agent.

BREAKING NEWS: My source in Tehran has provided me with their war plans:

sssx.io_1769801180310.mp4
When I asked him how a B-2 would launch from a carrier and how Iran would station their S-4000s on said aircraft carrier he responded, "Inshallah, brother, Inshallah." Trump doesn't know what he's up against.

Fuck you ziobot, Iran's aircraft carrier (made from a containership) is the world's most advanced!

 

[Silence of the Troons]

Coming up: beauty parlor drama (Iran protests edition)

Huda ”Huda Beauty/Mullah Beauty" Kattan, Iraqi makeup artist and influencer who grew up in America and now lives in Dubai, is facing backlash after she posted a video on her Instagram Story page mocking the Iranian protests and supporting the regime. People are calling for a boycott of her products.

https://archive.ph/xFysc

This Iranian model with over 9 million followers posted a video (warning, annoying music) of her destroying Huda's makeup products. Other Iranians have followed suit and are posting videos of themselves destroying her products or putting up informative posters at Sephora stores.

https://archive.ph/a9Rw4


Mullah Beauty later posted this non-apology video digging herself into a deeper hole, saying she doesn't know enough about the regime to have an opinion (even though the Islamic regime has invaded Iraq in the past and is an important actor in Iraqi politics, press X to doubt) and says this is different from Israel-Palestine because Israel-Palestine is one country attacking another country while what's going on in Iran is an internal issue.

https://archive.ph/9Vxkp
Sarah Idan/Miss Iraq 2017 calls her out on her bullshit, saying that her pretending not to know anything about the Islamic regime is like an American pretending not to know what Al-Qaeda or 9/11 is and accusing her of caring more about Israel-Palestine than Iraq.

https://archive.ph/uZQFu

It's fine though, Mullah Beauty will always at least one loyal customer even if her other Muslim/Muslim orbiter supporters were to leave for some reason.