DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Someone please tell The Retard King that leaning into what detractors are saying isn't the win that he thinks it is.

It's better than his usual content, though. At least Phil has passion in being a consoomer burning all his money.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Is Phil buying an L shaped desk because Asmongold has one?

Of course.

I wonder if there will be a 'shit break' on Friday at 5:30 PST:

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Oh god, he's going to put his ugly ass face on every animation and reference Christmas movies isn't he?

Of course. He knows no one watches so they've never seen them.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

It's better than his usual content, though. At least Phil has passion in being a consoomer burning all his money.

That's still like saying parts of the Titanic are in shallower water than other parts, but yes.

 

[Digger10]

Someone please tell The Retard King that leaning into what detractors are saying isn't the win that he thinks it is.
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I did find that title curious.

 

[FormerPro]

Phil's black Friday spending spree means we are soon to be treated to numerous set-up streams; his greatest content.

What better way to disprove all the slander on the internet that you're a retarded, petulant, entitled man child than forcing your new audience to sit though hours of you struggling to follow basic instructions whilst staring blankly at the chat demanding they tell you what to do.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Phil's black Friday spending spree means we are soon to be treated to numerous set-up streams; his greatest content.

What better way to disprove all the slander on the internet that you're a retarded, petulant, entitled man child than forcing your new audience to sit though hours of you struggling to follow basic instructions whilst staring blankly at the chat demanding they tell you what to do.

I'm excited to autistically break down how his $1000 monitor is a complete waste of money.

Also, credit to Phil for finally realizing he can use a second cheap monitor to obsess over money retards give him.

 

[Power Glove]

Phil's black Friday spending spree means we are soon to be treated to numerous set-up streams; his greatest content.

What better way to disprove all the slander on the internet that you're a retarded, petulant, entitled man child than forcing your new audience to sit though hours of you struggling to follow basic instructions whilst staring blankly at the chat demanding they tell you what to do.

"um I got a black screen. The green light is on but there's no image on the screen" Proceeds to nervously laugh because he knows he's looking like an absolute moron. "I plugged it in but nothing is happening you guys. I don't know. I guess it's broken? I don't know"

Kill me.

 

[Samson Hydemanfinkelstein]

I'm excited to autistically break down how his $1000 monitor is a complete waste of money.

Also, credit to Phil for finally realizing he can use a second cheap monitor to obsess over money retards give him.

I'm looking forward to Phil going from gloating about how his set up is so much better than every other streamer, until his game play doesn't actually improve and he eventually blames trolls for tricking him into buying a 1k monitor that is worse than his tv.

I've never seen someone act like they need to buy something and then rage buy it because its too confusing and taking too long. He is such an old woman. Buying another 300 GAYMER racing bucket chair, because it has height adjustment and is on wheels... after claiming every other legitimate office chair is trash because he tried them ALL 20 years ago at his prestigious office job. Steelcase? Herman Miller? Branch? Tried them all, and they all suck, and worse than the chair Phil bought 5 years ago that has TWO cup holders...

The speakers are also trash and are now going to be on top of him and probably picked up by his microphone. 5k and spends 2.5k (most likely his whole available budget) on trash, except for the monitor, which he doesn't need.

King fucking Dent.

"um I got a black screen. The green light is on but there's no image on the screen" Proceeds to nervously laugh because he knows he's looking like an absolute moron. "I plugged it in but nothing is happening you guys. I don't know. I guess it's broken? I don't know"

Kill me.

That's if he can get through putting the desk together and setting up the monitor stands and the monitors without breaking something.

But first we get to watch him put the chair together and claim is super high quality and people who buy legitimate chairs are stupid.

 

[Corpun]

I like we're at the point in the DSP story where evidence has surfaced that this nigga literally pignotizes himself. And apparently that's just like normal.

Pigga still thinks he has an audience of a couple thousand but they only watch him when he plays certain genres of games (200 for racing games, 200 for RPGs, etc.) and then stop watching when he isn't.

He treats his declawed cat like a toddler and acts like it’s going to turn the house upside down and destroy everything if he’s allowed to roam un supervised.

He also thinks Jasper can't live outside because he lacks claws. He literally said that the squirrels would attack Jasper, because squirrels are well-known for preying on cats.

As per the Dave Sr. being an awful judge of women: The dude was a U.S. Marine and the stereotype about Marines is that they're really fucking stupid and eat crayons.

I remember hearing somewhere that Dave Sr. and Linda eloped, and that his parents did not approve of Linda. If it's true it is possible hat Linda got knocked up by Dave and with both being Catholics they rushed a marriage as to not have a ugly love child out of wedlock. Take it all with a grain of salt unless marriage records are public in the state of Connecticut and the dates align for Phil's birth.

Theo Theory: Linda was the town tramp and Dave Jr. is not Dave's biological son, just the first man Linda ensnared into marriage. It would explain the 20 year gap between Dave getting his Bachelors and his Masters when you look at his LinkedIn. (Edit: Misinfo: BA at Sacred Heart 1982-1996 actually, early Years of Phil).

Poor Dave gave everything, even stopping his higher education, for his son, only for Phil to turn out like this.

Seeing him in Poland among his people would be funny though.

I can see some National Lampoon-style mix-up where a flight to Italy gets rerouted to Poland and this fat retard doesn't realize it and goes around speaking broken, stereotyped Italian he half-remembers from Sopranos while all the other drunk, sweaty polaks around him assume he is some disabled local who can't speak Polish correctly.

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Has anything interesting happened since the interview? Dealing with some stuff and could use the boost DSP suffering would give.

 

[Power Glove]

But first we get to watch him put the chair together and claim is super high quality and people who buy legitimate chairs are stupid.

There's the potential of that shit breaking midway stream and sent him sprawling on the ground, his gout foot kicking the new monitor to the ground.

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

While i don't follow Phil's antics for years now i have so in the past and was aware of him long before i knew of KF (making fun of DSP was an old /v/ staple) and honestly, i don't think therapy, going outside, whatever normie stuff you can think of that could help somewhat normal people just wouldn't work on Phil. Phil just doesn't seem like he's much "there", he does his usual Pigroach shit that he has been doing for years and will do so for years to come, neither feeling happy nor sad about it but nonetheless doing these things, incapable of change nor introspection. I am not even sure DSP truly registers that other people beside him exist, despite having lived with Khet for quite some time and before that with PandaLee.
I am also sure he would go crazy if he was ever forced to go cold turkey from electronics/any form of media distraction and be alone with his thoughts for five minutes.

Sounds a lot more armchair-y than i planned but this is honestly how i see him and his sad existence.

No you're pretty spot on.
He's too caught up in a dopamine loop. Crazy addict going on here.

He has the terminally online presence that is fed quick cheap dopamine from many different sources like his chat, videogames letting him win, gacha games, flashing lights, food, booze; consistent validation and self-indulgent behavior.

It makes sense now why he schedules everything this way. This dude needs things set up so he knows he cant miss his daily injection cycles.




His set up really encapsulates this.

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

Buying another 300 GAYMER racing bucket chair, because it has height adjustment and is on wheels... after claiming every other legitimate office chair is trash because he tried them ALL 20 years ago at his prestigious office job. Steelcase? Herman Miller? Branch? Tried them all, and they all suck, and worse than the chair Phil bought 5 years ago that has TWO cup holders...

That's the reason I'm hyped about his setup stream, just hearing him justify buying one of theses shitty chairs over an herman miller.

There's a reason why most if not all workplaces have chairs designed that way and not those gamer chair. They're the worst in term of ergonomics and for your back, they're just designed to look like racing car chair so 14y.o. boys get excited over them.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Phil's black Friday spending spree means we are soon to be treated to numerous set-up streams; his greatest content.

What better way to disprove all the slander on the internet that you're a retarded, petulant, entitled man child than forcing your new audience to sit though hours of you struggling to follow basic instructions whilst staring blankly at the chat demanding they tell you what to do.

All of it is gonna be gold but I'm salivating over the L-shaped desk setup stream. We're talking about someone who lost a battle of wits to a mic arm and couldn't even put together an exercise bike, setting up a desk may as well be literal magic to him.

Theo Theory: Linda was the town tramp and Dave Jr. is not Dave's biological son

In my headcanon the real biodad of little Phillup is Steven Seagal, although that is impossible as Stevo Senegal was in Japan at the time.
That being said... IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!

 

[AssWeCan]

Someone please tell The Retard King that leaning into what detractors are saying isn't the win that he thinks it is.
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Can someone make a detailed summary of what this retard consoomed for no good reason ? That would be appreciated.

 

[UsedUp]

Expect a dozen or so they manufactured it wrong when he inevitably strips a bunch of screws or some nonsense as he builds the new desk and extendable arms for his monitors.

 

[Hectic Heckler]

Can someone make a detailed summary of what this retard consoomed for no good reason ? That would be appreciated.

New desk
Two new monitors (1 4k, the other 1440p)
New chair
Monitor stand
Some mat thing
Edit: Some speakers for surround sound
$2600+ after tax

 

[Optimus Crime]

This dingus just never learns AND this is why he's a high quality lolcow. His setup, kahntent, and level of charisma is far from high quality, but his existence is so meme worthy. He is the definition of "this is how you don't exist."

 

[Samson Hydemanfinkelstein]

Phil in talking about his IRL commitments this week meaning it will be a 4 day work week, declared his normal schedule is 5 to SEVEN days. Did you know Phil works 7 days a week? I didn't.

Edit:
They are quite heavy... I don't know why they are so heavy but they actually weigh a ton. I don't know if they are weighted or they're just REALLY good.

0:21

A. They are pretty shit speakers as far as critical listening, but Phil doesn't do that. Phil also thinks his tv speakers bouncing off his wall provide a surround sound experience and are really good so for Phil these were a waste of money because any cheap 30-40 dollar PC speakers would have sufficed.
B. The REALLY HEAVY, WEIGHING A TON speakers that he made grunt noises picking up way 6.8lbs. Not each. The pair of them weighs 6.8lbs...

 

[AssWeCan]

New desk
Two new monitors (1 4k, the other 1440p)
New chair
Monitor stand
Some mat thing
Edit: Some speakers for surround sound
$2600+ after tax

What the fuck man, and Kat of course sobbing over her paper plate while playing Skyrim for the 74th time waiting for that honeymoon...