Official Kiwifarms Turn-On List - Describe your ideal man here (women only).

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My type in men consists of:

Personality and Values:
  • Honesty - someone who isn't afraid to say what's in his mind (also I hate liars) and is willing to hold me accountable if I say or do something incredibly stupid.
  • Preferably someone who is politically conservative or is at least centre-right leaning, though political discourse should be limited.
  • Accepting of my hobbies and interests even if he doesn't personally like them himself, but he MUST have hobbies even if I'm not interested in them.
  • Passionate about the things they're interested in (to compliment with my certified sperginess).
  • Family-oriented and looking to start a family, bonus points if he gets along with his mother and/or sisters.
  • NOT a man whore.
  • Must love animals!!
  • Masculine - Effeminate men are obnoxious!
  • MUST be Straight - I'm a straight woman so naturally, I'd want a straight man.
  • Does not drink alcohol - there are personal reasons for this which I won't delve into.

Appearance:
  • Taller than me (for reference, I'm 5'5).
  • Fair skintone - a fancy way to say that I like white men best.
  • Dark hair - black hair is best though I don't mind settling for dark brown.
  • Neatly dressed - not even professional but I love rolled-up sleeved shirts that are buttoned up, save for at least 2 buttons.
  • I love a moderate amount of muscles as long as they're not too bulky or roided to hell (I particularly like chests and shoulders). If not, then he should be relatively slim.
  • Little to no facial hair - I don't like full beards as they can be very deceiving.
  • Adam's Apple!
 
Emotionally available, well dressed, not a tranny enabler (my ex was cause his brother had trooned out and it arguably is what ruined the relationship) shares my geeky hobbies without making it his whole personality (so not a neckbeard), loves or at least tolerates cats, bonus if he has stubble/chest hair and can quote Shakespeare and/or thinks about the Roman Empire often.
 
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images (3).jpeg
Hello women here's a picture of me am I attractive
 
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Gef Mongoose dijo:
I like masculine men who hold authority, but will cuddle with me and watch TV together at the end of the night. And truly masculine men tend to lean towards Republican ideals.
Must like dogs, including small ones like my Chihuahua.
Keep up with basic hygiene.
Not sexually selfish.
And willing and able to provide for myself and be a good father to the child that I want to have.
Will listen half heartedly to my gorlworld self TEDTalks.

I’m still on the hunt gorls. Wish me luck please.
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I've seen how women with cat avatars act on this forum. You're doomed.
 
Read through this thread and now I feel like I'm the weird one, lol
There's no way in hell you gorls don't like blonde men, right? That's the raddest hair color, come on
Okay, hear me out: tall skinny guy with long blonde hair (no facial hair though)
 
Blinchik dijo:
Okay, hear me out: tall skinny guy with long blonde hair (no facial hair though)
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Nice. But he's gonna get bald anyway soon. I've seen this happening too many times to enjoy this image, knowing how temporary it is.
Maybe it's just more noticeable than with darker hair, or already thin strands are more likely to be affected.
 
pp6t49 dijo:
9. lots of teeth, like attack on Titan levels of teeth if he kept his wisdom teeth oh heart be still that man's got a mouf
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Idk if this is a shitpost or not, but I can relate to this on some level. I'm a guy who had to get my wisdom teeth removed and wear braces for a long while and I think it gave me some sort of obsession with teeth. One of my most autistic woman interaction moments was complimenting a girl's teeth in university. I have since learned not to do that... Still, there's something attractive about having good teeth.
Pretty sure Null also mentioned on MATI (and as far as I can tell it's true) that poor oral hygiene corelates to heart issues.

RomanianSchizo dijo:
Is waiting till marriage to have sex (so a virgin).
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This has to be the hardest to find out of everything posted here. Not even my retarded ass meets this, curiosity and lust got the best of me when I was in university (and she had good teeth too). Unless you're looking for a shut-in otaku, or find someone who's religious and actually follows it, it's probably not happening.

I think out of all the posts I'm the closest to BFG's list, minus a few things.
Boyfriend Free Girl dijo:
Must love animals!!
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While I love cats and I like dogs too, I absolutely abhor the notion of keeping them indoors. I'm too much of a neat freak to have animal hair in the house.
Boyfriend Free Girl dijo:
Neatly dressed - not even professional but I love rolled-up sleeved shirts that are buttoned up, save for at least 2 buttons.
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This is probably one of the biggest things that I need to work on...
Boyfriend Free Girl dijo:
Adam's Apple!
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I rolled like a 3/10 on this. My apple is felted, almost pooner level of apple status. Best I could do is change my name to Adam and buy a MacBook/iPhone.

Blinchik dijo:
Okay, hear me out: tall skinny guy with long blonde hair (no facial hair though)
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Rip my hyperborean aryan brother. May you find your boyfriend free girl that is into blonde men.
 
2mm and 99 others dijo:
I've seen this happening too many times to enjoy this image, knowing how temporary it is.
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Eh, beauty is a temporary concept in and of itself. Maybe a bit too philosophical, but things are beautiful specifically because they are temporary.
(not me trying to justify romanticizing a look that looks good for maybe 10 years max, lol)
 
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Blinchik dijo:
Read through this thread and now I feel like I'm the weird one, lol
There's no way in hell you gorls don't like blonde men, right? That's the raddest hair color, come on
Okay, hear me out: tall skinny guy with long blonde hair (no facial hair though)
Presiona para expandir...
Dark blond is my favorite. I was surprised by all the blond hate too. I have a vivid memory of watching Howl's Moving Castle for the first time with my older female cousins, and them jokingly saying "don't fall in love with a blond guy, Arby." Fast forward to now, and I'm engaged to a blond guy.
 
Chunky. Doesn’t need to be muscle, a bit of weight is fine. Just not a beanpole.

Big thighs. Absolute hot/button turn-on for me. Doesn’t matter what he looks like, if he has big, meaty thighs I’m all over it.

Big butt. The same as big thighs really. Big thighs and a big butt on the same person? Drool worthy.

Slightly bandy legs. It just accentuates the big thighs, no idea why it works for me but it does.

Masculine hands. They don’t need to be enormous, but thicker, shorter fingers are far nicer than long, salad fingers types. There’s just something quite physical/animal about hands like that.

I have no problem with body hair/no body hair, but I really dislike facial hair.

Clean. He doesn’t need to be all manscaped and covered in cologne. In fact, a vain man is a real turn-off (ditto men who are into shopping and clothes). Just a nice, clean guy. His natural odour, or simple soap/shampoo smells are perfect.

Daft sense of humour, but not cruel. No problems laughing at myself or others, but a guy who’s deliberately nasty about people, especially when covered up as humour, is a big red flag.

I don’t like guys who are much bigger than me. I’m pretty big (tall, used to be muscular before I got old and lazy), so there’s plenty of guys who aren’t bigger than me. Assuming they can cope with the embarrassment of a gf the same height as them or taller.

I prefer dark, longer, straighter hair. Blue eyes.

Someone who’s smart and curious, likes to learn but doesn’t like to point-score with their knowledge. A smart guy is hot as hell.

A guy who plays sport, or who loves animals. Total pants-dropper, is that one. Show me you can be manly while still caring for the vulnerable who need protection.

Nice accent. Most accents are okay apart from New York, California, Brummie, or wanky southern Brit. Accents from Georgia (the state), Belfast, or a Dutchie speaking English will have me in a heap. South African is pretty hot too.

A guy who plays an instrument or who makes some sort of art is also hot as hell.

No porn. The slightest hint of that blokey perving over women, he’s gone. Think with your brain and not your dick.

To finish up, the perfect guy could end up having none of these points if he’s the right kind of personality. The irony..

Generally, someone who is as natural as possible is the hottest type of guy.
 
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Blinchik dijo:
There's no way in hell you gorls don't like blonde men, right? That's the raddest hair color, come on
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I agree with you 🤭 especially when it’s the blond hair / blue eye combo

A dude’s gotta have / gotta be:
  • Taller than me - 6’0” or above, I might cut some slack if he’s cute
  • Enjoys talking shit, gossiping with me
  • Not fat
  • Not a Muslim, absolutely no browns and darkies
  • Knows how to make me laugh, has a similar sense of humor - seriously couldn’t imagine a life with a significant other who couldn’t make me giggle and kick my feet giddily
  • Can spark up conversation easily without forcing it
  • Kind and compassionate to animals
  • Kind to the little ones and has a desire to be a father
  • Kill bugs for me (sorry insect creatures, you all do not fall into the animal category)
  • Decent fashion sense and gives a shit about personal appearance / hygiene - don’t dress like a sperg
  • Not hesitant to try new things, especially different foods
  • Supportive of my interests and hobbies - I‘ve witnessed instances where a guy will dunk on his girlfriend / wife as a pseudo dick measuring contest to show off how much better he is at an activity than she is; I can’t fucking stand that shit, we aren’t in competition
  • Minimal social media presence
 
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