🎨 Artcow Terry Reitz / JDR / Jennifer Diane Reitz / Chatoyance - The Original Crazy Tranny; Creator of The Conversion Bureau

And Tiktok isn't controlled by borderline ethno-nationalist Chinese oligarchs? Ol' Chatty here is already starting off 2025 with some grade A retardation. Tiktok has made an entire generation neurotic and socially retarded braindead consumers and they think not banning the app would stick it to the capitalists.
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And Tiktok isn't controlled by borderline ethno-nationalist Chinese oligarchs? Ol' Chatty here is already starting off 2025 with some grade A retardation. Tiktok has made an entire generation neurotic and socially retarded braindead consumers and they think not banning the app would stick it to the capitalists.
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I remember hearing that poem in school and wondering just what it is they had done that had actually pissed people enough to go after them. Then I learned about why.

So JDR, why don't you research what trans folk are doing that's making everyone pissed at them?
 
The Conversion Bureau stuff is actually really well written. It's why people go utterly berserk about it.
That and the premise is so uniquely absurd: an invasion assimilation plot with self righteous imperialist ponies. I remember reading about it when I was younger and thinking “what the actual fuck?”.

It would make for a fun horde mode FPS game like CoD zombies or Halo's firefight mode though.

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Her comments section is like a rewind to 2016 with the TDS rhetoric.
 
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The Conversion Bureau stuff is actually really well written. It's why people go utterly berserk about it.
I skimmed through one of the stories awhile ago. I don't remember much, but it went something like "oh no cosmic destruction is headed towards Earth but we can take a purple potion to become a pony" so the pov character drinks the potion and becomes a pony but there are bad guys who don't want to become ponies and want to try to stop Earth's destruction with feeble human science so an Equestria forcefield literally explodes those who won't take the pony potion into colorful confetti and the PoV character takes the pony name "Confetti" because the explosion that killed a bunch of humans was so pretty.

JDR's misanthropy is truly second to none.

I don't think the recent birthday blog post has made it to this thread yet. Starts out with whining about Trump and Project 2025, all queer people need to burn their harddrives because just writing stories about gay ponies will have you prosecuted for illegal pornography soon, rapidly becomes about IF ONLY THE CONVERSION BUREAU WAS REAL BUT PONIFICATION IS NOT AN OPTION OH IF ONLY WE COULD BECOME PONIES BUT YOU DUMB HUMANS SUCK.

JDR is sixtyfive years old.

Sixty-Five Orbits
Dateline December 30th, 2024
It's my birthday today, I am 65.

Holy shit.

I would love to regale you with lessons learned or achievements accomplished, but such are few and far from fantastic. I am filled with two emotions as we enter 2025: fear and despair.

America is about to install to power a multiply convicted, felonious, adjudicated insurrectionist who legally cannot become president due to the 14th amendment of the Constitution. Americans chose this man over a decorated attorney whose job it is to prosecute criminals, primarily because the attorney was two things Americans consider to be indefensibly vile: the attorney was female, and her skin was not white.

Project 2025 is now openly the goal of Trump and his enablers; this means that I, and every Queer person be they trans or not, will become nonpersons and lose the rights they already possess. Expect the loss of marriage equality, of course, but more than this, trans people like myself will be "erased from legal and civil society entirely". When this statement comes from a group who openly admire Hitler and are already planning concentration camps, I find every part of it quite ominous. And I have not even gone into what will be done to the rights of women, non-Christians or anyone with melanated skin.

The biggest reason this is happening? A third of you - yes you - did not bother to vote. You didn't think it mattered, you didn't like either candidate, you were upset about some thing peripheral to your own future, you just couldn't be arsed to scribble a hasty check in a box and mail it in. That's why the third of the nation that has gone insane won. If even half of you had bothered to vote, Trump could never have won.

Oh well. Those who do nothing, have still made a choice.

It's going to be a very rough next many years. Food is going to be hard to afford with tariffs and the lack of migrant workers to pick that grown locally. You can give up on getting any new electronics for a very long time. Disease will spread, and people you know will die or become crippled for life. Forget voting again in 2028; democracy is over and done. You will know fear, you will know suffering, and you will know the domination of a dictatorship. You don't truly believe this right now. I know that. You will, though. Soon enough.

It is almost certain that this website, and every other one you enjoy, will vanish as it will become classed as 'pornography' for containing Queer content of any kind, however innocent and nonsexual. This false definition of 'porn' will become a serious and enforced media crime. I would burn or bury your disk drives as soon as possible, starting today - remember, even a reformat can be reversed with specialized tools. We are already seeing Queer content being removed or avoided as early submission to the coming regime. You have lost your country, Americans - and the rest of you, well, you can see the far right starting to take over. How goes America, it has been said, so goes the world. The Americans let you all down - they didn't just screw themselves.

I suspect Fimfiction will be available only for another two years at most. Like many sites. So, enjoy the last days of your favorite websites. Unless something truly dramatic happens, you are all screwed. All because of those who couldn't be arsed to vote in just one nation - a nation with outsized influence on other nations of the world.

You see, this is the path that leads to the future of The Conversion Bureau. I know this path. I worked it out a decade ago.

That future is now coming. Dead oceans, and land almost empty of animal and plant life. Perpetual smog layer around the globe. The Worldfavela instead of functioning cities and towns. And global government by oligarchs with absolute power. Disease and poverty being nearly universal. A small, limited exchange nuclear conflict. Vanished, conquered nations erased from the map. The fall of America. Food riots and military policing of the population. Megachurches becoming not merely mainstream, but mandatory. It's a comin'.

Only there is no Equestria. That isn't going to come and save any of us. Just the bad stuff, no science fiction salvation. And you voted for it, either by actually voting for it, or by failing to vote and allowing the victory of evil by default. This is not going to be a good year. The decade ahead is bad, too. The one after that is going to be even worse.

You humans could have chosen the other path. The one that leads to more freedom, high tech, a clean and healthy world with a biosphere that survives. That is almost certainly gone now. My only remaining question is how rapidly the screwing of the world will be implemented. How quickly a dictatorship is enabled. How soon the first tactical nuke or dirty bomb is used. How long it will take until most comics, shows, and websites are made illegal. Oh, barring literal massive, nearly universal violent revolution, it's a comin'. It's a comin'.

Taylor, screaming at the Statue Of Liberty buried in the beach.

Shaka when the walls fell.

Picard, his palm on his face.

And me, age 65, watching democracy and freedom destroyed by a minority of radicalized bigots, insufficiently unopposed.

It's dark out now. It's going to get a lot darker. Right after January. Happy birthday!

- Chatoyance, 2024
 
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@Mellorine

JDR has a lot of other shit on her own webzone, including but not limited to an extended comic in which a bunch of homeless people kill all the officials of a city that wouldn't let them camp in it. JDR has hated humanity for a very long time.

Also I'm sure JDR could have written a pony novel with the serial numbers filed off, like they're not actually Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle, etc and might have made some money on it. But that's not the same JDR who tarded into millions of dollars from selling a webzone and instead bought giant piles of Japanese plastic crap with it in the days before eBay could have let you do that easily and you actually had to go to say Books Nippan or kamisama forbid Japan for such shit.

>America is about to install to power a multiply convicted, felonious, adjudicated insurrectionist who legally cannot become president due to the 14th amendment of the Constitution. Americans chose this man over a decorated attorney whose job it is to prosecute criminals, primarily because the attorney was two things Americans consider to be indefensibly vile: the attorney was female, and her skin was not white.

I'm just going to comment that Trump was found innocent in his second impeachment trial, leftists lionize convicted felons all the time, and Harris prosecuted mothers whose children were too sick to go to school and did her damndest to make sure niggers stayed on Death Row where they deserved.

>It's going to be a very rough next many years. Food is going to be hard to afford with tariffs and the lack of migrant workers to pick that grown locally. You can give up on getting any new electronics for a very long time. Disease will spread, and people you know will die or become crippled for life. Forget voting again in 2028; democracy is over and done. You will know fear, you will know suffering, and you will know the domination of a dictatorship. You don't truly believe this right now. I know that. You will, though. Soon enough.

Oh no no slaves.

>It is almost certain that this website, and every other one you enjoy, will vanish as it will become classed as 'pornography' for containing Queer content of any kind

Pornhub's still going to be up for you to goon your amhole to.

>That future is now coming. Dead oceans, and land almost empty of animal and plant life. Perpetual smog layer around the globe. The Worldfavela instead of functioning cities and towns. And global government by oligarchs with absolute power. Disease and poverty being nearly universal. A small, limited exchange nuclear conflict. Vanished, conquered nations erased from the map. The fall of America. Food riots and military policing of the population. Megachurches becoming not merely mainstream, but mandatory. It's a comin'.

I was told this was going to happen during the Bush years, didn't happen.
 
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I skimmed through one of the stories awhile ago. I don't remember much, but it went something like "oh no cosmic destruction is headed towards Earth but we can take a purple potion to become a pony" so the pov character drinks the potion and becomes a pony but there are bad guys who don't want to become ponies and want to try to stop Earth's destruction with feeble human science so an Equestria forcefield literally explodes those who won't take the pony potion into colorful confetti and the PoV character takes the pony name "Confetti" because the explosion that killed a bunch of humans was so pretty.
In JDR's take on the setting, the near future earth is like Blade Runner or Cyberpunk with ecological collapse and slums everywhere while corporate elites call all the shots. Then out of nowhere, Equestria emerges in the Pacific ocean surrounded by an impenetrable magical barrier that literally kills all humans with its magic energy, because humans just suck that much. After the McMercenaries of the corporate worldgovernment's navy fails to destroy the barrier, the elites engage in diplomacy with Celestia and Luna, who have come to save the world and humanity from itself. As the barrier is slowly spreading and erasing all manmade structures and traces of humanity with it, the Equestrian and corpo government work together to set up the series' namesake all over the globe: the Conversion Bureaus. So yeah, humans have to turn into ponies to survive the spread of the barrier. No if, ands or buts about it.

And it's hinted at that Celestia and Luna are far more than just ponies. Their true form is said to be almost eldritch.
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So it's a weird sci-fi meets MLP fanfic, right? What's the big deal. Well allow me to continue my quick rundown on the Chattyverse.

As I was saying, the globalists and Celestia use some kind of magitech to make a potion that turns people into ponies, which they give out in the Conversion Bureaus. It's all sparkly and it has nanobots and shit in it, and you have to drink 16 ounces for the transformation to work. Anything less and you turn into a half pony hybrid and die painfully. This happens to some of JDR's designated villains in the stories but I'm getting ahead of myself here.

The potion doesn't just turn people into ponies though; it also purges them of their "inner demons". As in it effectively neuters you and turns you into a giddy, smiling shell of your former self. These "newfoals" as they're called are incapable of things like anger and violence. They're so neutered that in one story, a newfoal gets offended by violence in a VIDEO GAME. Also they're vegetarian, naturally because eating meat is le bad. Also ponification gives people souls, because in Chatty's world humans are souless sacks of flesh with no spiritual connection at all. Yes, you heard that right: the potion turns whoever drinks it into the perfect, obedient happy slave to 2 possible eldritch beings.

Chatty sees this as a great thing, especially with MALES because her hatred of masculinity is second only to her hatred of humanity in general.

Naturally, a calamity like this causes extremist groups to form. The Conversion Bureau has 2 main ones: the HLF and PER. HLF stands for Human Liberation Front and their goal is to stop the spread of Equestria and save humanity. In most alien invasion plots, these guys would be the good guys but not in JDR's setting. They portray them as cartoonishly evil racists and xenophobes who can't stand a superior species like the ponies. HLF fighters do things like kill and torture ponies just for TEH EVULZ in JDR's stories. They're among some of the last holdouts before Equestria completely engulfs the earth.
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Opposing the HLF is PER: Ponification for Earth's Rebirth. Basically a bunch of eco-terrorists that want to ponify as many people as humanly (heh) possible. They do things like weaponize the potion and in one story the potion bomb an kids' birthday party with a rigged pinata. They're the good guys in Chatty's stories of course.


There's much more I could go on about, like the censorship Bureau in Recombinant 63 that chooses which human works of art get to be preserved in Equestria, the rare variant of the potion that doesn't lobotomize converted humans and the deal the globalist elites struck with Celestia to where they're allowed to exist in Equestria as humans.
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TLDR, JDR's pony fanfics are a batshit clusterfuck of misanthropy, anti-masculinity and lots and lots of wish fulfillment. They've been around for over a decade and there isn't much discussion on them outside of places like TVTropes or Spacebattles, and those discussions were a long time ago.
 
The "bubble of another universe swelling and replacing Earth" thing reminds me of a small bit of fiction from the Unicorn Jelly universe.

I don't remember where it was at, but it was text. Probably on her website somewhere, or IIRC she did an Author's Note re-run of the series after it ended and she might have talked about it there.

In the UJ storyverse, there's "hyperrain" -- 4th dimensional spacetime weather, where spheres will appear, copy chunks of one universe, and drop them off in another. Explicitly copy them; the original chunk of spacetime is left alone in the original universe, it's just also dropped off in a new one. And it's a sphere because it's a 4th dimensional effect -- like a 3D water droplet (a sphere) falling onto a 2D piece of paper makes a small dot that expands into a circle, a 4d "water droplet" (a hypersphere) falling onto a 3d "piece of paper" makes a sphere.

You can see this effect here in "page -1" of UJ, added years after the comic started:

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In the universe UJ takes place in, this results in a bunch of 15th century Latin humans being dropped off on a random "planet," wherein they promptly fuck it up royally, causing the plot. It's also shown in the epilogue of UJ happening again with a new universe and new spheres of "hyperrain" dropping some new aliens off.

So what happens on Earth when this "hyperrain" does the same thing there? The humans see the sphere expanding somewhere above Seattle, starting as a pinpoint then growing into a large sphere the size of a few city blocks... and then a thermonuclear explosion centered on the sphere takes out most of King County.

See, when the "Mundis" (Earth's Universe) material is dropped off in the UJ universe, it's automatically converted to local equivalents. No Atoms over there, but it all works out. When the UJ universe material is dropped off in Mundis, the material is converted to local equivalents... but as our universe has more entropy and more complex atomic structure or somesuch nonsense, you see an entire sphere of material being converted to some sort of hyper reactive stuff that immediately goes supercritical. Like a giant city block sized chunk of uranium, or the dirt suddenly containing an infinite amount of kinetic or thermal energy.

So the idea of hyperrain she'd already explored in UJ, and she also covered the idea that material might not shift between the two universes very safely. The idea of a bubble of... a children's cartoon... spreading like a sphere on Earth isn't all that new for her, all things considered.

Still, bronies were a mistake, and she's not avoiding the stereotype of autistic as fuck men being obsessed with the show.
 
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In JDR's take on the setting, the near future earth is like Blade Runner or Cyberpunk with ecological collapse and slums everywhere while corporate elites call all the shots. Then out of nowhere, Equestria emerges in the Pacific ocean surrounded by an impenetrable magical barrier that literally kills all humans with its magic energy, because humans just suck that much.
Actually this was pre-JDR. Some guy named Blaze invented the actual original scenario and then ducked out when it turned out like, well, like it did.
In the universe UJ takes place in, this results in a bunch of 15th century Latin humans being dropped off on a random "planet," wherein they promptly fuck it up royally, causing the plot. It's also shown in the epilogue of UJ happening again with a new universe and new spheres of "hyperrain" dropping some new aliens off.
Chatty is a fount of ridiculously good and creative ideas that end up, well, like you've seen.
 
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Actually this was pre-JDR. Some guy named Blaze invented the actual original scenario and then ducked out when it turned out like, well, like it did.

Chatty is a fount of ridiculously good and creative ideas that end up, well, like you've seen.
Funny you mention Blaze because I was going to do a follow up post in response to @HTTP Error 404 mentioning how TCB wasn't originally JDR's idea. IIRC, Blaze wrote the OG Conversion Bureau as wish fulfillment and critics said it came off as misanthropic, but the misanthropy was more subtle and coincidental than anything Chatty wrote. The premise of it was similar to Chatty's but instead of the human world being a cyberpunk corpo hellscape, it was just normal old 2011 era Earth. People thought the setting was cool enough to where a bunch of different writers, Chatty included, made their own takes on the setting.

Some of these spinoff stories are pro-human, like "Not Alone" or "The Other Side of the Spectrum" and they chronicle humanity's epic struggle against pony Imperialism. Of course, some ponies side with humanity as well because the authors are bronies and don't want Total Equestria Death. Ponification at the hands of the potion is almost always portrayed badly in these stories, because it turns people into souless, smiling husks of their former selves. These stories can be considered genre deconstructions of both the original TCB and JDR's universe.

And then there's the pro-pony camp, which Chatty's stories fall under. I've pretty much covered what those stories entail in my last post. The authors are almost always misanthropic trannies, masculinity haters of all stripes and/or neckbeards who want to be raptured to Equestria. The TCB community was split between these 2 camps and there was a lot of controversy and dumb internet fights up until 2013 when it mostly died down. The holdouts still remain though.

Also I think JDR's idealization of Equestria is worth mentioning too, because hot damn it's some advanced autism. You see, the medieval fantasy aspect of MLP:FiM really spoke to JDR's heart, to the point where they compared it to the Elysian Fields of Greek mythology (Think Ancient Greek heaven, basically. See what I'm getting at with all these rapture jokes). They consider only season 1 to be the TRUE and HONEST iteration of Friendship is Magic not because it was the only full season season where Lauren Faust was directly involved, but because season 2 and later have things like trains and hydroelectric dams. The industrial revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the pony race, people. She thinks the inclusion of technology is a cheap gag and ruins the immersion, as stated in their blog about it. It's like the Pony version of "Sonic's arms aren't blue!" but afaik JDR didn't go around pepper spraying Target employees for selling post season 2 Pony toys.
 
Fun fact: literally the first thing Trump did, even before getting back into office, was cutting a deal to bring back TikTok.
Which is weird because back when TikTok started he was talking about banning it in the US due to the CCP potentially using it to spy on Americans somehow.

And Tiktok isn't controlled by borderline ethno-nationalist Chinese oligarchs? Ol' Chatty here is already starting off 2025 with some grade A retardation. Tiktok has made an entire generation neurotic and socially retarded braindead consumers and they think not banning the app would stick it to the capitalists.
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Can we make this a reality so this troon gets taken by Trump's Death Squads and is never heard from again?

TLDR, JDR's pony fanfics are a batshit clusterfuck of misanthropy, anti-masculinity and lots and lots of wish fulfillment. They've been around for over a decade and there isn't much discussion on them outside of places like TVTropes or Spacebattles, and those discussions were a long time ago.
I had heard of the Conversion Bureau stories but I never had any desire to actually read any... or most fanfics for that matter, but Sweet GodBearJesus that sounds fucking vile. Chatty might be a good writer but his ideas fucking SUUUUUCK!

And yes, Bronies were a mistake.
 
I had heard of the Conversion Bureau stories but I never had any desire to actually read any... or most fanfics for that matter, but Sweet GodBearJesus that sounds fucking vile. Chatty might be a good writer but his ideas fucking SUUUUUCK!

And yes, Bronies were a mistake.
I know KF has beef with TVtropes for their political bias, but if you’re ever bored enough you should check out their page on the Conversion Bureau. Chatty’s works have their own page too and you will find details in there that my rundown missed.

Like for example, apparently the potion turns everyone who takes it pansexual regardless of their former sexuality. You vill be converted to queer and you vill be happy!
I also like the first season the best if only because a. Faust was still involved and b. they started playing into the brony fandom starting in like season 2.

that being said I grew up with gen 1 and am old enough to hate everything made after 1993
Yeah I noticed the heavy fandom pandering after s3 and looking back now it was when I started losing interest in the show.
 
I also like the first season the best if only because a. Faust was still involved and b. they started playing into the brony fandom starting in like season 2.

that being said I grew up with gen 1 and am old enough to hate everything made after 1993
Faust is both the shining example and the cautionary tale about being uncompromising about one's vision.
 
I know KF has beef with TVtropes for their political bias, but if you’re ever bored enough you should check out their page on the Conversion Bureau. Chatty’s works have their own page too and you will find details in there that my rundown missed.
I've seen this "Spacebattles" site mentioned before, and I don't know why (I seem to remember them mentioned in a negative light) but apparently they take the piss out of Chatty's magnum opus here: https://forums.spacebattles.com/thr...-conversion-bureau-fics-by-chatoyance.694861/

Linked right at the top of the TVTropes page about Chatty, heh.
 
I've seen this "Spacebattles" site mentioned before, and I don't know why (I seem to remember them mentioned in a negative light) but apparently they take the piss out of Chatty's magnum opus here: https://forums.spacebattles.com/thr...-conversion-bureau-fics-by-chatoyance.694861/

Linked right at the top of the TVTropes page about Chatty, heh.
SB used to be alright before they got pozzed after 2016 like so many other niche forums at the time. But that's a discussion for the Spacebattles/SV thread. I wonder if most of the userbase would side with the imperialist ponies now that Orange Man is president and their progressive post-white utopia never came to pass.
Also it's the only archive left for TCB: Not Alone if you ever want to read the deconstruction of this setting.
 
I long for the simple days of lolcowdom with crazy-ass old troons like JDR. You always knew what you were going to get with her, unhinged wildly imaginative (until the Conversion Bureau autismo) writing and drawing comics with art that ranged from child-like to Loony Toons to anime-esque to just fucking undescribable.

I should pop over to Jenniverse and see how she's taking the recent happy fun times in the US of A under Drumpf. I am sure there will be autistic rantings galore, some of it might be worth looking at for the lulz like it used to be.
 
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