DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Iron Hamster]

"only potatoes grow here? Well Samwise Ghan-Jeans would love that!"

You see, the brilliant joke here is that hobbits like potatoes and in this game that has nothing to do with hobbits, or lord of the rings, or fantasy in any way, shape, or form he saw the word potato.

You might not like it but this is what peak comedy looks like.

Would have actually been funny if he said 'St. Jeans'

He thinks he's the most interesting man in the world.

All lolcows do.

Since it's DSP's day off I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to do some Doody-esque speculating. DSP has mentioned multiple times that his dad was a marine, although he has always been quite vague about it. According to this old newspaper archive, in 1977 at 21 years old, Dave's profession was a "warehouseman". I believe you need to do at least 3 years of active duty so I kind of doubt that he was in the marines before that if he listed his profession as something else in '77 when he was 21. Did he join at a later date, after getting married? I'm inclined to think Dave never was in the military and this is just some "my dad is cooler than your dad" nonsense Phil used to bullshit other kids with in his school days. Another thing that I find odd is that his parents got married in or around the end of 1977, but it took them almost five years to spawn the pigroach, who would go on to be an only child. DSP looks and supposedly acts absolutely nothing like Dave and he has mentioned there being issues with infidelity with his parents. Is Dave infertile and did Linda, desperate for a baby, fuck a pigroach-looking alien pretending to be the milkman?

He lists the Marines on his Facebook:
Man far greater than his son.

Expect a Chicky Chang Wang apology demand soon. Even China is on to him:

 

[Son of Big Boss]

He truly has no self awareness because he's literally reacting to the Dented Zone movie how Warski and PPP predicted. And this just goes to show how accurate Warski impression of him was lol.

 

[GodModule]

Yeah he's trying to turn the hate against his detractors. Except in this case the Dented Zone is just becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy because Phil is a retard

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

The second hand embarrassment is off the scale.

dsp.webm
If at first you don't succeed, then by all means, attempt your shitty "joke" once more.

dsp1.webm

I hate how he always try to use these "jokes" to downplay him just forcing/begging for donos. if you demand to be payed, just admit it. don't tip toe around it

 

[Digger10]

He truly has no self awareness because he's literally reacting to the Dented Zone movie how Warski and PPP predicted. And this just goes to show how accurate Warski impression of him was lol.

Given his lack of self-awareness, I wonder if he even understands the parodic aspect of the movie. I could imagine him thinking "Yeah, I talk to my wife about my day while she says nothing, that's what adults do" or "Yeah, I tell people I'm happy when I'm wearing a Sonic hat, what's wrong with that?"

 

[NomineNemo]

What I find revolting with theses streams is how he thinks browsing the store with minimum commentary is content and how he has to separate every segment with 20+minutes of begging.
If he was a competent streamer he should just buy horror games that seem interesting to him off stream and THEN only stream the gameplay part.

He loves wasting time, looking for games to play, tech troubleshooting, assembling the mic arm (lol) on stream. Things that any sane streamer would do before clicking broadcast, but to Phil it's content and more importantly WORK and doesn't deserve his attention outside of his grueling 9-5 work schedule.

Reminds me of how he justified showing his purchase of the Switch 2 by saying "I thought it'd be good content and it was good content!"
I'm sure it's for a similar reason for why he thinks watching him eat is a reward. He thinks he's the most interesting man in the world.

I think this is just a strange manifestation of his 'Real Adult Business Man' larp.

Everything makes a lot more sense if you imagine DSP as a White Collar, 9-5 Cubicle Slave.

He shows up late everyday, spends as much time as possible puttering around avoiding 'work' (often times doing pointless 'busy work' that he made up himself to put off getting to his actual work), refuses to do a single thing if he isn't on the clock...I could go on and on.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Phil got a $10 superchat doing his stupid point "joke" and that USA faggggsss troll kept giving him $2 superchats (that he doesn't count). He does it because it works.

 

[British Mersh]

Given his lack of self-awareness, I wonder if he even understands the parodic aspect of the movie. I could imagine him thinking "Yeah, I talk to my wife about my day while she says nothing, that's what adults do" or "Yeah, I tell people I'm happy when I'm wearing a Sonic hat, what's wrong with that?"

I bet he doesn't see the parodic aspect, he's too autistic to understand it, his retarded mind goes to the obvious: "I don't drink from the bottle before stream, I don't masturbate so violently, my wife isn't a fat canadian dude, so this isn't me, it's just another slanderous detractor video". He only understood that Kino Casino made fun of him and people laughed at him harder than usual.
If he understood something he would have toned down his aggresive begging but he still does the "right nao" shit.

 

[INirvana]

He lists the Marines on his Facebook:
Man far greater than his son.

Holy shit, his father looks better than him, it kinda looks like DSP if he grew up to be normal and not a shitstain.
I know he's embarrassed to have a son like that.

 

[CopingSneedingDentractor]

Dented Zone probably scares him more not only because it's his former best buds that he totally cased and planned to backstab from the start but also because he only understands that it is making fun of him and he doesn't understand what is funny about it. To some degree this is probably because much of it is very accurate to reality I guess, but he is just totally autistic and is completely incapable of picking up sarcasm or jokes that aren't about dicks or shit.

When he was doing the unwatchable react shit he was unable to tell what was real and what was a joke. That video he watched that was all car jokes with the guy talking about how he has spikes on his tires to pop other people's tires and his reaction was "That's illegal!". He got made fun of so much for some of his early dsp react stuff so he started to default to thinking everything sent to him was a joke. Calling a kingcobra foodhack video an act and how he faked it for money. Phil is one of the most blind to reality style humans out there. Dented Zone is probably a little bit too big brained for him to get aside from sucking his gaming soulmate's dick(that probably sent a jolt to his cock as LTG would say).

The world must be such a scary place when you are so dumb and helpless. He's just scared of everything because it might make him look dumb when he doesn't get it and unfortunately he is too stupid to get anything. The only help he can get to try understand anything in this world is from his chat which is 95% trolls and 5% dent heads who are around his same level of intelligence.

 

[Burl McMillan]

I bet he doesn't see the parodic aspect, he's too autistic to understand it

I know this word is the new buzzword online but Phil is basically media illiterate. He has zero grasp or understanding of basic concepts of themes, undertones, subtext, which are things in any narrative media like movies or games that even if someone doesn't necessarily have the words to articulate they can feel. This is why whenever he talks about "good games" it only revolves around 4k resolution, Full HD, 150fps graphics, controls, whether or not he wins. Whenever he talks about his picks for GOTY in terms of the narrative, he would only summarize the story and what happened, like how a 6th grader would write a book report.

That's why during his DEBUNKING stream he categorized it as an expose video, because he thinks Dented Zone is claiming to be a literal portrayal of his life. He fails to see that normal people can understand the point of exaggerating something for parodic effect. To an extent I think it's also for the best that he believes the Dented Zone's goal is to discourage people from watching him. Any normal person when you hold up a mirror to their sad pathetic life like that would get cut deep, but Phil is (un)fortunately too dented to get hurt by the penultimate distillation of what he's all about.

 

[Iron Hamster]

I bet he doesn't see the parodic aspect, he's too autistic to understand it, his retarded mind goes to the obvious: "I don't drink from the bottle before stream, I don't masturbate so violently, my wife isn't a fat canadian dude, so this isn't me, it's just another slanderous detractor video". He only understood that Kino Casino made fun of him and people laughed at him harder than usual.
If he understood something he would have toned down his aggresive begging but he still does the "right nao" shit.

He understands it all perfectly. His cope game just sucks.

 

[CopingSneedingDentractor]

I know this word is the new buzzword online but Phil is basically media illiterate. He has zero grasp or understanding of basic concepts of themes, undertones, subtext, which are things in any narrative media like movies or games that even if someone doesn't necessarily have the words to articulate they can feel.

Yeah he just has nothing going on in his head. His Silent Hill f take is just awful. For one he didn't beat it like he says. The game has a very Nier like thing of continuing to play to get way more story/lore. Say what you will about the gameplay but it's a very well written game with so much going on as you go through it. His reaction to it? "Like the writer actually thought they made a good idea like you are the duncest motherfucker I've ever seen." Our boy is talking about a renown writer here but nah he knows good writing. Check out Project 7 if you'd like to see some goodass writing instead.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

He understands it all perfectly. His cope game just sucks.

Phil will eventually understand it's parodic. As we've seen before, he needs the dents to explain things after an evil detractor with more online money than him does something to him. The first two cope rants of "I didn't watch and don't care about that KC video" he blathered on about they want to shut down his business. Phil understands what they did was bad, but he can't comprehend WHY it's bad because that delves into self-reflection.

 

[Kagome Higurashi]

People should mention the whole mean to Jayde thing, cause when was the last time he did anything nice for the downie? Couldn't even bother to play Rivals with him. Jayde also pays $20 every month for his stupid YT so you think Phil would just roll with it and give the freak what he wants. Nope, gotta squeeze every penny out of his REAL fans.

0:40

 

[A Piece of Coal]

People should mention the whole mean to Jayde thing, cause when was the last time he did anything nice for the downie? Couldn't even bother to play Rivals with him. Jayde also pays $20 every month for his stupid YT so you think Phil would just roll with it and give the freak what he wants. Nope, gotta squeeze every penny out of his REAL fans.
SORRY JAYDE YOUR THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS GIVEN UP TO .mp4

Mother fucker fully digs in his nose. I hate this faggot so much.

 

[Tom Went To The Mayor]

People should mention the whole mean to Jayde thing, cause when was the last time he did anything nice for the downie? Couldn't even bother to play Rivals with him. Jayde also pays $20 every month for his stupid YT so you think Phil would just roll with it and give the freak what he wants. Nope, gotta squeeze every penny out of his REAL fans.
SORRY JAYDE YOUR THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS GIVEN UP TO .mp4

Jayde is the only unironic fan I feel bad for. In a better world, he would be living peacefully instead of having to hear this gout ridden cunt complain about his life and why he feels entitled to money.

 

[Optimus Crime]

All this Jayde cocksucking is annoying. Sure he's a retard who was dealt a losing hand by the master pickle man in the sky, but you need to also lack a soul to even consider yourself a dsp fan, and thus he is both SOULLESS and RETARDED.
Tldr; fuck that nigger

 

[Elite Kipchak]

All this Jayde cocksucking is annoying. Sure he's a retard who was dealt a losing hand by the master pickle man in the sky, but you need to also lack a soul to even consider yourself a dsp fan, and thus he is both SOULLESS and RETARDED.
Tldr; fuck that nigger

isn't he also a perv like every other dsp megadent? i recall him saying some salacious things about juri in the sf6 stream chat though I could be mistaken.

 

[GibMoneyPls]

Jayde might be super retarded and a fucking moron for liking Phil. What's funny though is that Jayde is more outgoing than Phil, he travels, goes to conventions, and even has friends. People care about him and like him. Something Phil will never have. So even retarded Jayde is a better, more respected and liked human than sloppy-ass DSP.

He also isn't married to a heffer.