Official Kiwifarms Turn-On List - Describe your ideal man here (women only).

[Necrosan]

turn on: smell good
tun off: doesn't smell good

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

All I want is someone who has their shit together, That is it, I'll see myself out.

You need to up your standards

 

[Vibromatic Heart Bed]

It's nice when men are unphased by life's inconveniences. I had an encounter recently where I fucked up (bad situational awareness moment) I felt really bad and I started apologizing to the guy, but he immediately reassured me that it was okay, he gave me a big smile and kept it moving like I hadn't done anything wrong. Not only was he genuinely unbothered, he seamlessly transitioned the interaction into a happy positive one, like he truly didn't want me to feel bad about it. He was so gentle and kind in that moment.

I've witnessed so many men sulk/have tempers because they WANT you to feel bad to make some sort of point, so to have a guy want me to feel better was such a breath of fresh air.

The bar is so low lmfao (hence why I do not date men anymore)

 

[Gaddafi]

Goes with the big head and they all descend and they're not bunched up and they have a jaw that also grew to accompany the teeth.

I think im more confused now but thank you
I wish you luck finding your musky great white shark bf

 

[w.a.m.s.]

These were the standards I had in mind when I first started dating the man who would become my fiance:

• Speaks gently, listens to understand, and looks at me when he talks to me.
• Has at least one strong "unplugged" interest or hobby - that is, he does not need to look at a phone screen or laptop to pursue it. Loves to explain it, and will listen to me talking about my interests with equal intensity. If he can bring me into his hobby with him, that's amazing.
• Good at finding common ground with others. Will not derail minor disagreements into arguments; instead, he moves on, or appreciates people's differences for what they are.
• Has formed his own sociopolitical worldview - not one identical to a favorite news network/podcast/YouTuber. When we talk politics, I can tell he's thought through his underlying principles and how to best implement them, regardless of whether I agree or not.
• Gentle to animals; animals are relaxed around him. If he has pets, they should be well-groomed and well-cared for.
• Drives safely and calmly.
• Well-maintained personal grooming. Smells nice. Beards are a turn-on, but only if well-maintained and neatly trimmed.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Will cook and clean for me and share all of my schizophrenic political opinions

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

All I want is someone who has their shit together, That is it, I'll see myself out.

This is a big priority! Man's gotta have a job he doesn't bitch about, a car, and minimal levels of autism. I'm a neurotic fuck so he might need to be at least a little bit neurotic also, but not to the point that I'm babysitting a man having a meltdown over his food touching.

Passion and drive are very important to me, I give it my all in work, hobbies, and fitness so I need someone who gets it.

Apprearance-wise I've always liked men older than me, salt and pepper hair can look really lovely and some kinds of wrinkles are very endearing. Eye-crinkles and laugh lines show that a guy has spent his life happily while some people have faces that say "I have been a miserable sourpuss since the moment I was born"

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

This is a big priority! Man's gotta have a job he doesn't bitch about, a car, and minimal levels of autism. I'm a neurotic fuck so he might need to be at least a little bit neurotic also, but not to the point that I'm babysitting a man having a meltdown over his food touching.

Passion and drive are very important to me, I give it my all in work, hobbies, and fitness so I need someone who gets it.

Apprearance-wise I've always liked men older than me, salt and pepper hair can look really lovely and some kinds of wrinkles are very endearing. Eye-crinkles and laugh lines show that a guy has spent his life happily while some people have faces that say "I have been a miserable sourpuss since the moment I was born"

Older men are my type too. I can't really date emotional immature men who can't even act properly. I feel for the people who have to deal with that. That is, if I am interested in dating that's my only ideal man.

 

[ita]

he has to be a warlock

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Will cook and clean for me and share all of my schizophrenic political opinions

He has to be able to have spirited discussions where we disagree and he doesn’t stomp off like a baby. I like being challenged but not in a belittling way.

I don't mind differences of opinion, but they have to share my values. We have to agree on what basic moral principles there are and what a good world looks like, we can disagree on how to get there, and then we have interesting dialectics about it all. I'm pretty far left but I have way more in common with conservatives than I do with liberals. And we have more engaging conversations that aren't just "yikes problematic" and stomping off.

As for body types, I like dad bods (well, fatties, it's not as if men's bodies actually change when they become parents like ours do) but not so fat that they lack any motivation. I dated a whale in high school and he was cute and fun but he would show up late for things and had no drive or enthusiasm for anything. He'd make vague plans but never go through with them. We broke up when I went to university and he just stayed around not doing anything even though he was easily clever enough to go (or learn a trade or start a business or something) if he applied himself.

Come to think of it, Dear Feeder is pretty much exactly my type. A chunky autist with a good sense of humour who's fiercely motivated to work hard on what he believes in and challenges me to do the same.

 

[Treatlerite]

I like my men on the chunkier side.
There is a specific kind of endearment that comes with a chubby man that's active. Big appetite, down to Earth, not overly obsessed with gym maxxing. He has natural strength from normal exercise and blue collar work, and keeps himself groomed.

I am fairly small myself so I don't really want to date a twink. We can't both be weak and cold all the time. Please deliver me my Deviant and Islam stickers in a timely fashion.

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

1. Smart and confident enough that he doesn't need me to act dumb around him to feed his ego

2. In control of and able to healthily express his emotions, not overly emotional but able to admit when he's being irrational

3. Nice butt, well-developed thighs/calves

4. Thick, dark hair

5. Creatively gifted but doesn't make it his personality

6. Constantly learning, so we can always have new conversations

7. Will fix my computer

8. Good with kids (this is the biggest one ever)

9. Smells good (very subjective, I know, but a nice cologne with moderate application helps in this area)

10. Nice laugh

11. Remembers my likes and dislikes, and actively tries to do things I like rather than generic romantic gestures

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

He has to have a nice ride or a least one that isn't a bitch repellant. I can't be seen on an EV.

 

[clara red bottoms]

He has to have a nice ride or a least one that isn't a bitch repellant. I can't be seen on an EV.

Based user. Cutting broke niggas zero slack

 

[Lady Bizness]

1) Has assets and the ability to maintain them.
2) Has practical skills beyond the asset attainment.
3) Dedicated.
4) Good looking and fit.
5) Good in bed. Should have put this as #1. (and by good I mean that they're satisfied with the basics and care that the woman is having a good time too.)


Things that didn't end up mattering:
1) Having the same hobbies.
2) Having the same education level. There are some real retards with papers out there.
3) Being funny. It's a man. Their sense of humor is dog shit by default. He's going to make you laugh by accident anyway.

Thank god for having been able to meet in person. Whatever the fuck I used to filter out on my dating app back in the day would have never gotten me someone like my husband.

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

Based user. Cutting broke niggas zero slack

It's not about the price. It's the principle of the thing. Tesla isn't cheap but the people that buy it tends to be niggercattles.

A well maintained second hand honda or volvo or shit like that is fine. If you're a grown man in your mid 20s and still doesn't have a ride you should consider death

 

[No Thank You v 2.0]

I am in my 40s and starting to think, “Well, I’ve made it this far without one,” but I still date because I am hopelessly attracted to men.

Things I require or simply prefer in no particular order:

• No Blondes
• Dark hair and blue/gray eyes is ideal, but if he has light brown hair I prefer hazel or brown eyes
• Gray hair is always fine (I would prefer he hadn’t been blonde in his youth but I’m willing to pretend if everything else hits)
• Ideally 13-20 years older than me and absolutely no amount of time younger than me
• UNCIRCUMCISED. (I believe circumcision is bad for male psychology, the uncut men I’ve been with are far more mentally stable than the mutilated ones I’ve met, and it makes perfect sense)
• IF an office job then he MUST be the boss, however:
• Physical labor job is ideal (men need a physical outlet building something, or at the very least need to be able to see what they delegated to others to build (like a corporation, or a feature film—not to say filmmakers aren’t nuts).
• Big hands
• Must read books, I don’t care too much about which ones, but he has a library card and he uses it.
• Awareness of and ability to understand a variety of topics and have a basic familiarity with world geography.
• Tolerates me occasionally yelling “Oh my GOD!” At something I saw on the Farms
• Self-control and being unafraid of telling me when I’m too much.
• Good sense of humor, and will actually laugh with an open mouth
• That said, don’t ever let me see inside of your mouth, I do not want to know what you have going on in there, never ever, that’s your secret; if I can’t see or small or taste a problem, just keep it to yourself, mister (I do not understand Teeth Girl upthread). If I see inside your mouth, consider yourself dumped.
• Likes music, ideally the same as I do but so long as it’s not jazz, I will just be happy he enjoys any at all
• Does not drink alcohol
• Either smokes no weed at all or is a Power Stoner (if you can’t hang, don’t try)
• Stylish, but the actual style is not important (Cowboy, hoodrat, corporate incarnate; I have a broad appreciation for textiles, colors, patterns, etc, just make it work and I’ll probably dig it)
• Glasses are always welcome
• Means what he says, says what he means
• Emotionally intelligent
• A homebody who enjoys the outdoors. I don’t really enjoy going out in the evenings, but I like to take long weekends in the woods.
• A Christian
• Has a clean bathroom and toilet, I cannot stand any amount of bathroom neglect
• Has no dog but loves mine
• Honestly I kinda like ugly dudes so long as they’re tall or fit; handsome men all kinda look the same and I am bored with them, so, so bored
• White guys, minimum 6 feet tall, Latinos can be shorter than me if they don’t have a problem with it, but then he basically has to be very, very strong or maybe he commits murder for money, that kind of guy will be fine by me.
• And yes, white or Latino only.
• No annoying food rules
• Does not watch pornography
• Will let me sperg about why trannies are bad
• Spergs on occasion, himself (but the Farms are my thing, hands off, bub)
• No capeshit
• Likes eating pussy
• Generous
• Steadfast

I’m sure there are other things but I’ve said too much as it is.

 

[Lady Bizness]

A well maintained second hand honda or volvo or shit like that is fine.

My husband picked me up in something similar on our first date. We still have that ugly ass thing because he keeps fixing it.

At this point in my life I really want something impractical and fast but the savings on insurance keeps me loyal.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

21 and Single White Female...​

-Shy -Smart -Young at Heart -Computer skilled

-Humorous -A great thinker and go-getter -"Natural salesperson" -Enjoys good parts of life

-Diplomatic -Friendly -Loves hierfamily -Peaceful -Very creative -She's lonely...

Seeking a CUTE 18-21 SINGLE ♂Male♂ COMPANION​

*18-21 years of age *does _not_ already have a girlfriend *Single

-Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -White -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area

*Does NOT Smoke or Drink Alcohol -Happy, Positive Personality

*Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle

If any♀Women♀read this huge sign...​

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!​

(And to all women with boyfriends, except marrieds and blacks, go jump off a cliff)

Have a nice day

 

[2mm and 99 others]

It's not about the price. It's the principle of the thing. Tesla isn't cheap but the people that buy it tends to be niggercattles.

A well maintained second hand honda or volvo or shit like that is fine. If you're a grown man in your mid 20s and still doesn't have a ride you should consider death

Like, what's even the point of dating someone, when you can't hand them the wheel when you wanna switch drivers on a road-trip for it would feel unsafe or be outright illegal.