🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Nate Higgers]

The only way I could see Ralphy drowning is when, in his pilled out drunken stupor, he forgets he's not in America where he can flush his toilet paper and clogs his crackshack's shit collector while he's passed out to the point he ends up floating around belly up.

It’s prudent to remember that time that Ralph “took LSD” and broke/lost his phone at the beach (possibly the same beach/town since it’s near Merida).

I currently have 2 theories:
1.) he took the flight to Colombia but didn’t get his phone setup to work down there. The only caveat to this would be if he had access to WiFi/internet at whatever hotel he’s checked into
2.) we’re looking at another “Ralph on LSD/drugs on the beach in Progreso” situation and he lost or bricked his phone again.

I refuse to believe the ralphamale has drowned/died until we get a positive ID on a corpse.

 

[GPRIMACADO]

I refuse to believe the ralphamale has drowned/died until we get a positive ID on a corpse.

Which I've been searching for anything. Funny enough this is what Grok pulled up.


This seems to be Cartel's favorite spot I guess?

 

[MaltVinegarRespecter]

Which I've been searching for anything. Funny enough this is what Grok pulled up.
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This seems to be Cartel's favorite spot I guess?

Or just the favorite spot of drunk/drugged out American retards.

 

[break these cuffs]

=

It’s prudent to remember that time that Ralph “took LSD” and broke/lost his phone at the beach (possibly the same beach/town since it’s near Merida).

I currently have 2 theories:
1.) he took the flight to Colombia but didn’t get his phone setup to work down there. The only caveat to this would be if he had access to WiFi/internet at whatever hotel he’s checked into
2.) we’re looking at another “Ralph on LSD/drugs on the beach in Progreso” situation and he lost or bricked his phone again.

I refuse to believe the ralphamale has drowned/died until we get a positive ID on a corpse.

Ralph is such an absolute mark that he could have had his phone stolen at the baggage claim. He's so inept at living that he causes himself debilitating injuries by traveling. It could honestly be anything.

 

[Nate Higgers]

This seems to be Cartel's favorite spot I guess

The cartel doesn’t stage/publicly dump dead bodies unless they’re intentionally sending a message, and those are usually corpses of Hispanic/mexican narcos (either rivals or former allies who were caught stealing/snitching/collaborating with the enemy)

 

[Step out of the car sir]

. The only caveat to this would be if he had access to WiFi/internet at whatever hotel he’s checked into

My bet is something hotel related, rage pig couldn’t stop Ralphamaling it up and yelled at some random clerk. Hotels really don’t want to deal with drunk rage pig behavior, it’s actually happened at restaurants before.

 

[W@rui]

Analwulf responds to Mersh on MIA Gunt.
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Xitter / Archive

EDIT: Moar

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Xitter / Archive

Replies
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Fat boy's going to milk the hell out this. He's reading the forums and xitter posts seeing people talk about it, so he's going to stay silent for a few more days to squeeze an extra $20 out of next stream.

 

[Sloppa]

=

Ralph is such an absolute mark that he could have had his phone stolen at the baggage claim. He's so inept at living that he causes himself debilitating injuries by traveling. It could honestly be anything.

He gave himself carpel tunnel syndrome from the last spite-visit to his first spite-baby. So it's par for the course really, when he cobbles enough pesos together to flee back to his fermenting piss bottles, he might have one eye, he might be wearing a colostomy bag or he might have sprouted two new hairy tits. Anything is possible on the kieeeelll streaaaam dot tay vheee.

Real talk though, while I would love him to continue to SUFFAH, I do think it's probably him dead on the beach.

 

[HackerX]

=

Ralph is such an absolute mark that he could have had his phone stolen at the baggage claim. He's so inept at living that he causes himself debilitating injuries by traveling. It could honestly be anything.

Ralph may have made a few wrong turns in life if wandering around Colombia without a phone or computer is the absolute best case scenario for his current whereabouts. It's ranging from Ralph being alone and scared in a foreign country to Ralph being murdered by a drug cartel, and I suspect the answer will not be in the middle somewhere.

There's a non-zero chance we'll never see Ralph alive again. There's also a non-zero chance we'll see a video depicting Ralph, moments before he discovers he won't be rubbing oil on big booty latinas. The possibilities are endless.

Where in the world is Ethan Oliver Ralph?
Ralphwatch 2025?

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Which I've been searching for anything. Funny enough this is what Grok pulled up.
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This seems to be Cartel's favorite spot I guess?

Hm...

Man, likely tourist, 40s
Man, possibly intoxicated
Woman, 59, L.S.C.

God damn it, any one of those could be Ralph!

 

[Taki Supremacy]

Ralph may have made a few wrong turns in life if wandering around Colombia without a phone or computer is the absolute best case scenario for his current whereabouts. It's ranging from Ralph being alone and scared in a foreign country to Ralph being murdered by a drug cartel, and I suspect the answer will not be in the middle somewhere.

https://www.revolvermag.com/culture/see-bam-margera-recount-getting-robbed-gunpoint-colombia/

Took me a minute to remember who this happened to, but Bam Margera got robbed at gunpoint BY THE RANDOM TAXI HE GOT IN AT THE AIRPORT.

 

[porkWellington]

How fitting for the 2 year anniversary of SUFFUH HORSE, Ralph SUFFUHs in a trash can being lit on fire by a Colombian wearing a DBZ shirt.

 

[Troonos]

It's that time again! Ethan Ralph has not made a tweet in over 24 hours.
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I believe this weekend he was supposed to go see Faiths son, meaning Ralph is already due for his minimum 1 near death experience per trip to California.
Did Ralph...

• Miss his flight
• Lose his phone
• Have a heart attack while gooning to Hunter Moores trafficking victims
• jseizure up and passed away in a puddle of shattered piss bottles
• get lynched by the Nazis
• Receive a bullet to the head attempting to short change some poz loaded prostitutes

You Just Never Know What Will Happen Next on the Killstream...

Let us pray:

Our Lady of Blessed Cartels,

We ask that you keep Clan del Golfo's pitbulls very hungry as they are unleashed on Ralph's tiny chode.

And keep Clan del Golfo's knives sharp as they cut out Ralph's still-beating, fat-clogged heart and show it to him.

And finally, in the end, when there is but a single breath of life remaining in Ralph's lungs, we ask that you keep Clan del Golfo's chainsaws well-fueled as they behead this fat retard.

May his inevitable death by cartel be merciful, and may you forgive him for sniffing his underage bride's poo.

Please watch over Zandah and Cozy Rozy.

Amen.

 

[(°▽°)]

Let us pray:

Our Lady of Blessed Cartels,

We ask that you keep Clan del Golfo's pitbulls very hungry as they are unleashed on Ralph's tiny chode.

And keep Clan del Golfo's knives sharp as they cut out Ralph's still-beating, fat-clogged heart and show it to him.

And finally, in the end, when there is but a single breath of life remaining in Ralph's lungs, we ask that you keep Clan del Golfo's chainsaws well-fueled as they behead this fat retard.

May his inevitable death by cartel be merciful, and may you forgive him for sniffing his underage bride's poo.

Please watch over Zandah and Cozy Rozy.

Amen.

You say this now, but if it really happen just imagine how smug and comfy you'll feel.

 

[There She Glows]

So it seems like he texted Adowulf that he was leaving for Columbia Friday morning and the drowning in Mexico happened Friday afternoon. Unless I have the dates mixed up that seems to confirm that the drowning 100% wasn't him.

 

[HackerX]

So it seems like he texted Adowulf that he was leaving for Columbia Friday morning and the drowning in Mexico happened Friday afternoon. Unless I have the dates mixed up that seems to confirm that the drowning 100% wasn't him.

It'd make sense, but when has Ralph traveling ever made sense? It's completely within the realm of reason for Ralph to fuck up his travel plans and never make the flight in the first place. There's a narrative where Ralph, in despair of fucking up his Colombia sex trip, manages to get completely blasted and accidentally killed himself.

 

[not william stenchever]

So it seems like he texted Adowulf that he was leaving for Columbia Friday morning and the drowning in Mexico happened Friday afternoon. Unless I have the dates mixed up that seems to confirm that the drowning 100% wasn't him.

Ralph has gotten kicked out of at least one airport in Merida before for being a drunken mess. He could have run out of airports in Merida willing to deal with him? So maybe, with his travel plans ruined before even getting on the first leg he got drunker, took a ride to the beach and wound up face first in the surf.

 

[Strictly Confidential]

What is the coverage like in Columbia for cell service? As people have mentioned, he has probably just lost his phone but it doesn't seem like Ralph to not be taking photos of every little thing he does, no matter how sad it is.

took a ride to the beach and wound up face first in the surf.

Hey he might have thought you could ride a current and float on down to Columbia and the sea just spat him back to mehiiiiko

 

[HackerX]

What is the coverage like in Columbia for cell service? As people have mentioned, he has probably just lost his phone but it doesn't seem like Ralph to not be taking photos of every little thing he does, no matter how sad it is.

Obc, I'm not a spic, but I can't imagine there's no cell service within an hour radius of the airport. It's possible he simply doesn't have international coverage, but I'm pretty sure the plan he uses for Mexico would cover Colombia as well. Plus, I'm sure Wifi is available at the airport and hotels, so you'd figure Ralph would have popped up during his arrival/departure at the very least.

 

[Obscura539]

This cheap bastard definitely lost his phone and is currently on the longest layover ever.