🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

I've started to wonder if instead of makeup, she actually went and got those freckle tattoos. Because I don't think she's ever seen without them these days, even though the fake-freckles makeup look is already out of style. Just yet another L for our perpetual failure of a moddle.

I do NOT understand those freckle tattoos. They are a flash-in-the-pan style that's been on its way out for a few years, yet people are getting them tattooed to their faces? What about when flawless skin is the style of the year again? Just gonna wear pancake makeup for the rest of your life? That's going to look awesome on creping skin.

 

[NoReturn]

Tessy sees the future

0:07

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Tessy sees the future
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She looks like she's sticking her head through a hole in a table with a checkered tablecloth.

 

[Trombonista]

I don't see her eating eggplant or peaches in 2025.

 

[multiverse]

Tessy sees the future
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Maw maw gon' gitta BUNCHA munny from the lot-try, git sum big ol' dick inna pussy, and gon' move up to the BIG city!

So she's still homeless and without a new cake john. Good to know.

 

[Blerg]

“Her” book will be released 26 August 2025 and even the summary has spelling errors. Bonus lol at her co-author’s (ghostwriter’s) name. Tess Holliday, desired by black men and in business with a Coon.

 

[Barbarella]

Ugh, so poorly written. Do you think they said “bit-sized stories” on purpose to keep the idea of bites out of these fat kids minds?

 

[NoReturn]

Party tiem

0:35

 

[vlcsr]

Party tiem
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Wow, how far has John Legend fallen that he has to invite Tess and take pictures with her?

 

[Cherry Milk]

I wonder where she left Bowie

 

[Blerg]

All I can see outside that awful ill-fitted dress - how do you outfit an empire waist?! - are her bare, unmanicured nails. You get an invite to a party that has an actual Somebody and she didn’t even bother with a manicure. She didn’t even bother with some fucking clear coat. Broke much?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

She could wear a slip, at the very least. You can see her damn belly button.

 

[NoReturn]

Wow, how far has John Legend fallen that he has to invite Tess and take pictures with her?

For those who didn't watch the video:

 

[I call shenanigans]

For those who didn't watch the video:
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That long sleeved bolero thing certainly doesn’t do her any favours. It really draws the eye to her massive arms.

 

[Cherry Milk]

Those bangs don't do anything for her

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

If I had the skillz, I'd make a compliation of her face slowly dissappearing as she accumulates fat, starting from her svelte +200 elbee days..

 

[Constellationzero]

Tessy sees the future
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What... predictions?

A greasy, oily, morbidly obese jumpscare of a face with her trademark low functioning SPED rictus while SPED nodding at... WHAT?

We DO NOT NEED/WANT to see her greasy face in a post. Just say whatever the fuck you're trying to say and move on dot ORG!

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

That long sleeved bolero thing certainly doesn’t do her any favours. It really draws the eye to her massive arms.

Of course Mess reminds me of the most boring, uninteresting prosecutor of the entire franchise. Considering Tess's father wasn't a literal god, she is ever so slightly less of a disappointment.

 

[The Hardest R]

For those who didn't watch the video:
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Every photo that we’ve been seeing these last several weeks of her has this extremely greasy look to it. I’m assuming that now it’s just pure Crisco coming out of these pores. Her bangs are another big fat failure, much like Tubbers herself.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Every photo that we’ve been seeing these last several weeks of her has this extremely greasy look to it. I’m assuming that now it’s just pure Crisco coming out of these pores. Her bangs are another big fat failure, much like Tubbers herself.

I'm convinced blotting paper would dissolve on contact with her.