Personal Lolcows: Tumblr Edition - A website like Tumblr tends to breed exceptional individuals

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http://trans-overwatch.tumblr.com/

This is just a typical blog of kids having fun being delusional about vidya game characters. But the people who run it are the real lolcows. One used to be an artist I followed for years, their fanart and comics were good and frequent but the longer they spent on tumblr, the more they became the epitome of "wasted talent." They used to pride themselves on being an agender celestial being, but 2 months into living with the blog co-owner, a tumblr trans, convinced them to think about turning into a boy. It's not a cult at all, guys.

The co-owner is a fucking nutcase: Constantly yells that everyone in Overwatch has to be trans and POC, if there is art of McCree not brown enough he will call you out on it (someone's never seen a pale-skinned Latino before, if McCree even is one). Very vocal about BLM but only 1/4 black or something. Has a donation pool for top surgery, but, you know, offers nothing for it except "it would make me feel better." Supports two disabled roommates while hopping from one part-time job to another and skipping art college to argue about Overwatch on the internet. The lot own two cats and expensive gaming consoles but complain about starving and waiting for their EBT to kick in every month. How they can even afford an apartment is beyond me, but I'm pretty sure someone's parents chip in.

The real kicker is that he's apparently checked himself into the psych ward shortly after a drunken twitter pity party. Willing to bet the doctor's orders are to stay off the internet and switch to a decent major to focus on earning a living and paying for his own body mods.
 
(Hi Farms!)

My personal favorite lolcow for years now is yet another sad case of wasted potential. She's skilled with her art and used to draw a pretty original webcomic for years which she actually finished. Completely on paper with traditional methods, may I add. She's since seen the light of tumblr feminism and joined the SJW trigger crowd, subsequently deleting her whole comic from the web because it probably would have offended someone and then she'd be lynched by her new favorite group of people. Tragic.

Anyway, one of her current favorite hobbies is headcanoning literally every single fictional character as trans and then drawing said characters(mostly FTM Gaara and genderfluid or what the fuck ever one armed Naruto) as ugly + sometimes fat blobs of genderspecialness. Most of the time she's too busy to draw, though, because she tries super hard to stay on the 'acceptable whites' pedestal by reblogging whitewashed art and shaming the artists for being so racist. Dragon Age and Overwatch fandoms seem to be most rabid with their fucking color swatches and reference sheets. Haven't checked if there's a thread for some of that already, but god damn if it isn't a wonderful can of worms.

She's basically your generic tumblrina with mental illnesses and stuff like synesthesia, she+they pronouns and being a panromantic asexual because lesbian doesn't sound cool enough even though you tell men to not even bother... Sadly she doesn't throw angry hissyfits but her holier than thou attitude and habit of trying to put other evil whites on their rightful places is oh so sweet. Also, I have a weak spot for artsy cows, especially if there has been a horrible quality decline in either skill or content after the SJW kicks in. One of the reasons Purplekecleon will never stop amusing me.

I should probably also mention her social interactions happen mostly online, what a shocker, and she prefers her female characters as ugly and angular as possible because she is not exactly a 10 herself and tries to hide being insecure about her huge nose.

Recent shitty selfie included for reference, as well as a "Merlin cosplay". Ah, and here's her art of (one of the Slaton sisters cosplaying as) Hinata.
 
Well, derp, yeah, I could've done that... But it's not your first forum post if you don't fuck up something simple.

Ugh, I forgot about Oikku. That's not the one I was referring to, which would have been Otter Soldiers. Oikku is a series of short comics she used to do that she kinda picked up after finishing OS. In the 'Bruchette Purdypants' one you can straight up see the point she started to devolve into what she is today, since it just abruptly brings feminist ranting to the table... There's also a ton of Naruto short comics on her site, since that's about all she draws anymore.
 
I found another lolcow recently, this time in the form of a former college acquaintance. I'll refer to her as J.

She and I had lots of classes together back in the day and I guess you could say we were friends. We liked each other's company fine even if we had different perspectives on things. Back then, she wasn't too bad. Just your typical college activist into all the cool and hip sjw trends. But she at least was very mild about it.
J was in a heavily committed relationship with a guy--I'll call him N--and the two of them were practically glued to each other. Over time, however, she started to get a lot more into the whole woman empowerment cause and started to hold women up to a really high standard while dissing men every opportunity she could. This included poor N. The fella was shy and very sweet and often just took it like a whipped bitch. I felt bad for him.

Towards the end of the last school year, N finally had the guts to stand up for himself and told her that it was over. She of course had a major meltdown and totally lost her shit. These days she's extremely bitter towards men and says that all men are plagues upon the earth/are heartless/can't show emotion/are cold machines/etc. I still read her tumblr posts for lulz most of the time. She's heavily into the BLM movement and lots of nonsensical genderspecial causes. Unfortunately she's still very into men and she's frustrated because she hates them at the same time and is constantly calling for their deaths.

But hey, kudos to you N. You're free, little buddy.
 
Let's hope he had the time of his life after that, or at least he found a sweet lady that didn't treat him like a roach.
 
http://softtrade.tumblr.com

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This dude is fucking nuts. Usually a good read. Not really worth a thread but going through one of his many, many tags is usually pretty fun. "Damaged girl's club" indeed.
 
At this point, just shipping straight couples is enough for one to be a Nazi in tumblr's eyes.
 
Here's a personal cow of mine, I don't follow them too closely but every so often I'm reminded of their existence and have to laugh.

Their BYF and about pages:
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They're mostly a huge source of amusement to me because of the delusional insistence of "don't follow or even like my posts if you like the same characters I do" - which of course, they have a mile-long list of, which makes me wonder, 1) how they even have any friends, and 2) what they even talk about with those friends since, usually.... when you have fandom friends... you tend to... discuss your shared favorite characters and things with them..

Also the fact that their friends enable and coddle this kinda creepy infantile behavior makes me pretty uncomfortable but that's less lol-worthy and more angering than anything else so, eh.
 
There was one girl I remember from earlier in the year that made a blog dedicated to Soleil from Fire Emblem Fates. The blog did this thing where each day there was a post saying "Soleil is still gay" or something like that. The third day that this happened, drama struck. The blog was suddenly littered with arguments and people sperging about this fictional girl and her sexuality despite her being a confirmed bisexual. The girl who ran the blog threw a fucking hissy fit and called everyone arguing against her stupid blog homophobes and backpedaled by saying it was a joke blog. Basically a "I was only pretending to be retarded!" situation the second she got flack for making the blog.

The blog is no longer up, sadly, so I can't archive it. I went onto her main blog, however, and there were miscalaneous arguments about furries, and anons getting her panties in a bunch. I haven't seen her around since.

FE Fates has definitely had its fair share of dumb shit on Tumblr (especially when regarding Soleil), but I found this short-lived blog truly exceptional.

EDIT: Fixed some spelling mistakes.
 
Ugh this one is too good not to share. http://ninja-hijabi-princess.tumblr.com/

White girl, claims to be Palestinian Arab and Cossack (aka Russian and surrounding area). Goth, pagan, alternative fashion, tattoos, piercings. Obsessed with Supernatural and Harry Potter. Sounds normal.......til you realize she's a hijabi. She dresses in both male and female traditional Muslim clothing, always has her head covered, etc. She wears her niqab out on "bad anxiety days" in order to "feel like a ninja" and "combat her severe anxiety." She claims to be a Muslim revert but she also worships other pagan deities and has witchcraft related tattoos. She also apparently vapes and does hookah.

I think she's just delusional and looking for an excuse to be oppressed.

I Am A Ninja Hijabi Princess
Hi there. I am the Ninja Hijabi Princess *makes swishing noises with my ninja sword*

I am a hijabi and occasional niqabi. If I wear niqab, I think of myself being a cool ninja. I am a nerd, I love kitties and cute animals, and I love giving hugs and being fast and quiet like a ninja. And oh, I love makeup so you will see some makeup ideas. I don't use makeup much but if I feel like it's a good day, I wear some nice makeup that makes my eyes pop. And Black is my utmost favorite color, I would wear it everyday

*shhhh*

I am Palestinian Arab mixed with some Cossack and I long to see my homeland someday. LONG LIVE PALESTINE!!!!

Some photos if you don't feel like clicking thru to her tumblr:
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She is also active on Facebook and Instagram and apparently goes apeshit if someone tries to call her out on her behavior.

Edit: Forgot to mention, she has a muslim husband and has only been married for 10 months. Prob has something to do with that.

Also on her Instagram, she was a typical alt-goth girl, not really cringey in itself, but then there was a 5 week gap between posts that went from her being typical alt tumblr-type girl to wearing a kefiyeh (the male head covering) as if she's always worn one. Makes you wonder what happened in those 5 weeks

Edit 2: It seems I forgot some details!! She's nonbinary/queer and not actually racially Palestinian - her step-dad is Palestinian but she herself is not

Edit 3: Last photo seems to be an engagement photo - she now also has a female fiancee.
 
Última edición:
One personal lolcow of mine is a whiney, suicidal female to male tranny who is trying to become a respectable comic book artist. Somehow she seems to think that making disgustingly detailed posts about her "daddy issues" and crying oppression when someone called her a mouth-breather is going to help her achieve that goal.

She rants a lot about dogs and veganism, too, and has agreed with posts saying that children should be put on puberty blockers until they can decide what tumblr gender they want to be and how to mutilate their genitalia. Begging for pity points is one of her favorite activities. It's kind of sad, really.
 
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