VickiNow
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12h ago
You obviously know that a lot of cis women wear wigs everyday. So being bald doesn’t define gender. Tho I certainly get that it is a valid insecurity. Which it also is for cis women, and why they wear a wig. So by definition, you’re just like every other bald woman. So don’t you dare conclude that you aren’t a woman. Because you are, and what you are feeling, is the proof of your womanhood.
As for your question. I have struggled mightily with seeing myself as a woman. For context I am 2.5 years on HRT, had some FFS, BA, and a tummy tuck. Despite regularly having validating experiences, straight dudes crushing on me, and trusted friends swear that I pass, I still struggle to see it myself. Tho the longer I transition, the more often I see a woman.
Unfortunately this seems to be a struggle that most of us deal with. I say this all time. The worst part of being trans is that we’re the last ones to see it. But in time, you will see it. And you will see it more and more. It just takes a long time. But I’d rather it take a long time than never happen at all.
OP•
12h ago
Thank you, that helps me a lot.
Ok_Repeat4306
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12h ago
That sucks. Right now, I'm pre-everything and still living in the closet. I'll need a new job before I come out to anyone other than my therapist.
That said, right now, everything makes me feel like a fake, except when I think about what I want to look like. No cis man I know wants to look like Dawn.
atlheel
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11h ago
I don't really have an answer for you, I just want you to know that you're not alone. I'm coming up on 2 years hrt, a little past 6 months with my
, and I feel 90-95% of the way there, depending on the day. But that 5-10% still rankles. I can tell you that time helps - it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it used to. The more you see yourself in the mirror, the more comfortable it is, like second nature. Hopefully with time I'll get closer to that 100, too
ReplicaObscura
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10h ago
I don't even know what that one thing is for me, I just struggle to see a woman in the mirror every day, and struggle to hear a woman every time I open my mouth.
I've had a few brief moments of self acceptance that truly felt like the happiest moments of my life thus far. They were fleeting, but they are happening more and more often over time.
sandra_dune
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11h ago
I'll let you know when I get there.
2BusyBeingFree
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3h ago
Sorry if it sounds dismissive but I just try not to think about or at least dwell on this things. I’m changing what I can, no sense making myself feel like crap about what I can’t change. Easier said than done I know.
BrtDO
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1h ago
It really helps that my mentor/hero/big sister figure is also a bald woman who wears wigs daily. I sort of idolize her, and if she can rock it then what’s my excuse. Still the dysphoria is bad; she’s 100% valid and gorgeous but me? nah, never me. The only thing that worked for me was springing for an expensive wig at a salon and forcing myself to basically live in it. Like i had them cut the tag off so i could walk out in it. It still feels awkward sometimes but each day i get a little closer to accepting myself.
Unlikely_Read3437
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6h ago
The first time I had a run up at my gender transformation, I made a ‘dysphoria busting’ image folder on my computer. I put images of women with prominent brows, wide shoulders, or anything I was worried about. Alongside I’d sometimes add or overlay an image of myself, so I could look and say ‘my brow is just the same as this woman so it’s ok’.
I think it helped in some way. I totally get it though, I’m a complete baldie myself!
Valkyrie-guitar
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7h ago
It's not one thing for me, it's the combination...
Like, yes - there are women with receding hairlines.
There are women with huge adam's apples.
There are women with deep voices.
There are women with no boobs.
There are women with beer bellies bigger than their chests.
There are women with no hips.
There are women with size 12 feet.
There are women who are awkward introverts.
...and on and on, but I have a hard time really thinking of myself as a woman because I am ALL of those things.
