Culture ‘The Acolyte’s Stranger Brings Back What Star Wars Has Been Missing - Slop Wars: Attack of the Coomers

As soon as his bare arms debuted in The Acolyte Episode 5, Qimir/the Stranger (Manny Jacinto) secured his place in Star Wars canon as the sexiest villain known to mankind, or, truly, any species. Star Wars has seen no shortage of attractive actors, nor has it hesitated to expose flesh (for better or for worse). But aside from Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi stoking the smoldering embers of Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) and Rey's (Daisy Ridley) chemistry, George Lucas's galaxy has lacked legitimate sexiness — an abundance of potential lying unutilized despite all those flowing robes, black gloves, and repressed feelings.

The women responsible for Episode 6 of The Acolyte — showrunner, creator, and episode co-writer Leslye Headland, co-writer Jocelyn Bioh, and director Hanelle M. Culpeppe — collectively said, “Couldn’t be me." In the aftermath of Episode 5's action-fueled bloodbath, its meditative, character-building follow-up has, to co-opt another space franchise's tagline, boldly gone where no one has gone before. Qimir intentionally serves self-possessed sensuality in a way no other character has yet been depicted or designed. Even better, within The Acolyte's pocket of the galaxy, the active horniness surrounding Qimir fulfills narrative functionality and facilitates his burgeoning enemies-to-lovers dynamic with Osha (Amandla Stenberg). For the second time, the push-pull, light-dark conflict at Star Wars's moral heart finds itself rendered through a romance — or, at least, a sexual attraction explicit enough that the thematic undertones are overtones. The Last Jedi walked so The Acolyte could run.

Qimir Makes the Dark Side's Seduction Sexual
When George Lucas launched Star Wars in 1977, he introduced some key vernacular: "seduced by the Dark Side." The linguistics surrounding Anakin Skywalker's fall from grace leave much to the imagination; viewers can conjure plentiful reasons why someone would find fear, anger, and violence intoxicating. Decades later, the prequel trilogy demonstrates just how frighteningly easily Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) exploits Anakin's (Hayden Christensen) vulnerabilities. Palpatine's arguments almost sound legitimate when they're delivered with his serene reason. His manipulations amount to an insidious psychological seduction.

The Acolyte's version of "seduced by the Dark Side" invites every interpretation of the word. Qimir introduces a calculated physicality that goes beyond a brooding shirtless man or women forced into exploitative costumes. He disrobes for a carefully edited swim, the shot of his scarred back cutting away right on the cusp of full nudity. Osha, however, sees everything. She approaches with vengeance in her eyes and a dagger in her hands — only to discover that Qimir knew she was stalking him. The same "Master" who never showed his face to Mae intentionally strips in front of Osha, and his mild joke about her "joining" him implants very specific ideas with very obvious connotations.

When Qimir slowly strides from the water without concealing himself, the startlingly steamy but deft pacing brings Bridgerton to mind: the deliberate intensity of Qimir's advance echoes the same kind of build-up preluding a passionate encounter. Hanelle M. Culpeppe's camera doesn't travel over those muscles that set the internet aflame, but centering Qimir's naked torso, which just happens to be on conveniently sunlight-dappled display, overwhelms the frame. The casual display seems to unsettle Osha even as she can't resist glancing him over. The surprise needle-sharp tension between protagonist and antagonist is heart-flutteringly palpable: a classic enemies-to-lovers scenario where unexpected desire complicates that existing hatred. The Acolyte strings a cord of electrifying tension and withholds the resolution — for now. The female gaze is female gazing.

'The Acolyte' Does Enemies-to-Lovers Right
On the emotional front, Qimir's little skinny-dip accentuates his vulnerability, a characteristic inapplicable to him before now. And in the face of unarmed and premeditated vulnerability, Qimir glides with measured assurance. Despite the vicious carnage he enacted just one episode prior, he's composed to the point of subdued. He approaches Osha without predation, comfortably asserting that she holds the power even though his established strength says otherwise. He skirts right on the edge of flirting: delivering amused smirks and extended eye contact while gazing up at Osha through his wet hair. Every sentence is some variation of intimate murmuring. Whenever Osha answers, she receives his unflinching focus. The deliberate pause before he lists "desire" as a powerful resource forbidden by the Jedi screams its implication from the rooftops.

For once, it's appropriate to use the term "unprecedented" here. Rey and Kylo's sexually charged empathy opened the door for this particular dynamic, but the onus was on Kylo to redeem himself; Rey's Dark Side temptation was never truly perilous. Qimir is openly smoldering and inviting for the same reasons that fictional bad boys (and bad girls) remain appealing: the fascinating dichotomy of someone capable of massacring Jedi and respectfully approaching his equal. Within one episode, The Acolyte maximizes its creative freedom through a narrative thread that's satisfying for its lack of ambiguity.

That said, modern writers play with the enemies-to-lovers template, a dynamic that's evolved throughout romance novel history and existed as long as fiction has. In Collider's exclusive conversation with Leslye Headland, the showrunner discussed their approach to Qimir and Osha's complex beginnings. "He cannot seem like an alpha male-y, intimidating — we know he's capable of that from 5 — but that cannot be his dynamic with her," Headland said. "It wouldn't make sense! We have to see this other side of him, and we have to see specifically the way he is with her." (A respectful villainous king? The "I volunteer as tribute" line forms behind me.)

The results of the female gaze shepherding an enemies-to-lovers scenario prove breathtaking. Qimir and Osha's chemistry is as crystal clear and suffocating as the heatwave currently tearing across the United States. Once he's clothed (now in symbolic white instead of full black), Qimir tries to establish an emotional tether with Osha. He acknowledges her longing for a lightsaber and claims to understand her anger and displacement. Being a power-seeking villain, however, Qimir pushes Osha's weakest buttons by harvesting the seeds of her existing apprehension over the Jedi code; he prompts her curiosity.

The physical and emotional seduction merge when Osha pulls away and Qimir seizes her forearm, the one still holding his lightsaber. Not only is one half of a couple grasping the other's arm a glorious trope, Qimir aims his lightsaber firmly against his chest with his other hand. Once Osha snaps, releasing her uninhibited fury with his red blade trembling at his throat, Qimir gently folds his hand over the same forearm he had grasped. Having urged the truth from her, he reassures Osha that he understands her pain. Her admission bridges between them the intimacy of shared experiences. They stare into one another's souls, and stare more, Qimir's hand remaining light — unimposing but present — on Osha's arm.

Dearest gentle readers, the Pride and Prejudice carriage scene has been replaced; Qimir now holds the trophy for the sexiest onscreen hand gesture. This is a seduction because Qimir fulfills the potential of the Dark Side's temptation in new ways; he's objectively attractive, he's the most brutal Sith this side of Vader, and he treats Osha as an equal while yearning for an elusive "power of two" connection. The impassioned yet sensitive tension mixes with explicitly heated horniness, and I need to stick my head in an ice bucket.

The Most Complex Villains Are the Sexiest, and 'The Acolyte's Qimir Fits the Bill
Given how easily Qimir disguised himself as an unassuming scoundrel, it's natural to assume that he intends to manipulate Osha. Even though we won't know every nuance until The Acolyte concludes, Headland's intentions with the "Oshamir" pairing refute that reading. She explained to Collider's Maggie Lovitt:

"The relationship between Lo and Jen in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was an influence in the writer's room. We referenced that relationship over and over again. The intentional parallel is that they are equals and their relationship is earned through mutual vulnerability, not intimidation or manipulation. [...] I think he's telling her the truth."

Weaponized muscles, wet hair, and soulful eyes are sexy. Willingly displayed vulnerability is hotter than the planet Venus. Unlike Kylo, a desperate lost boy at heart, Qimir's vulnerability feels self-aware. When he reveals with little fanfare that his Jedi Master literally stabbed him in the back, it invokes complicated sympathy and intrigue for Osha and the viewer; he's building a mystery Sarah McLachlan style. That said, Qimir has no intention of redeeming himself. He owns his defiant position and subtly offers the same acknowledgment to Osha: accepting her entire being instead of marking her as a shameful failed Jedi. The most compelling antagonists are those with empathetically human motivations enriched by an outsider's perspective. Qimir's gloatingly ruthless choices — actions he blames on the Jedi — make him riveting. The more complex a villain is, especially with a chef's knife jawline, the hotter they are.


'The Rise of Skywalker' Failed Reylo, but 'The Acolyte' Could Succeed
If Osha indulges the Dark Side in some fashion, it seems she'll do so with her eyes open. Frankly, that's sexy as all get out, too. The direction Osha and Qimir seem headed is what I wanted from Rey and Kylo Ren and fundamentally couldn't have: a complicated, angry woman embracing power and freedom through villainy. The Acolyte exists in the gray areas outside the Skywalker saga. If Osha finds herself in the Force by embracing her darkest instincts, so be it — preferably, while also embracing Qimir. How perfect is it that The Acolyte, a Star Wars series crafted by women, introduces the franchise's most simmering moments to date with audacious awareness and aplomb. Long may the Darth Biceps and Oshamir agendas reign.

 
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Yup, something that looks like a typical Calvin Klein ad will send nutty women to distraction.
 
I can't fucking believe that all Kennedy took away from the disaster that was the sequels was that the fucking Rey-lo's shippers were the perfect target demographic for their next project.

Holy shit I can only assume the final goal of Kathleen Kennedy is to make sure that Star Wars as a franchise is completely dead and buried before she "hands over the reigns to a stronk female lead to the next stage of Star Wars production".

As someone who got to watch the originals in the theater I feel so bad for people who had to come into the fandom on the back of mess that was the sequel trilogy and the Disney+ shit wall.
 
I said this in the Star Wars thread, but I was fine with this shit when it was safely contained to corners of internet fandom. Write rapey sagas about hot villains all you like, at least you're keeping yourself occupied.

But people don't know how to keep their weird shit private anymore so now we get Reylos breaking containment and drooling their inappropriate fantasies all over a Disney Plus show.

I've been pirating it to enjoy the train wreck on my own terms

Yes, it's a good "pirate to watch in the background and occasionally laugh at while you're doing other stuff" show. Not sure that's a winning ratings strategy, though.

The main negative for me is having to see the real actors like Jung-jae Lee slowly realizing what they have gotten themselves into, that part is just sad.

Is that Asian man even hot? Not fat, yes, but that's hardly a bar to clear. I can see better developed shirtless men playing volleyball if I look out of my window.

He's hot, yes. They even gave him a costume designed around showing off the guns:

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Yord-and-Qimir-the-sith-villain-on-The-Acolyte-fighting-before-his-death.jpg

Hot enough to sit down and actually watch The Acolyte? Maybe if you're very lonely and it's on mute and you're recovering from a brain injury.
 
Yes, it's a good "pirate to watch in the background and occasionally laugh at while you're doing other stuff" show. Not sure that's a winning ratings strategy, though.

The main negative for me is having to see the real actors like Jung-jae Lee slowly realizing what they have gotten themselves into, that part is just sad.
I actually like the Master Sol character.
He proved that the best children have a mother figure AND a father figure, defeating the whole "women are superior and they don't need men" narrative, because Osha was doing just fine until Mae and Qimir came into the picture.

He's hot, yes. They even gave him a costume designed around showing off the guns:
He looks like the druggie enabler husband of a morbidly obese white woman, so they're trying real hard for that demographic. He looks like he smells like stale subpar weed and cat piss.
 
I actually like the Master Sol character.
He proved that the best children have a mother figure AND a father figure, defeating the whole "women are superior and they don't need men" narrative, because Osha was doing just fine until Mae and Qimir came into the picture.

I think Jung-Jae Lee fits really well into the Star Wars setting, whether that's because of his acting skills, or the surroundings just somehow suiting him physically. But the fact that a character with such potential is stuck in this abomination just makes it sad for me.

An alternate universe in which Lee plays a wise father-figure Jedi having adventures while training wayward padawan is a nice thought.

(Oh, and speaking of children needing parents, I appreciate the fact that this attempt at Star Wars Current Year Progressivism consists of "violent black girl without a father trying to kill an Asian guy")

(Edit: also, I don't know if this is dialect dependent, but to me "Sol" sounds identical to "Seoul" so it's like they basically named him "Jedi Master Chinaman" which is very funny)
 
The scene with Qimir made me feel super uncomfortable. It wasn't natural. It was out of place.

Scene was definitely weird and obviously done on purpose to show how progressive they were by making an Asian man "sexy" as a middle finger to white supremacy or something.

Who ever wrote the character was obviously a fat woman who spent her youth flicking her bean to twilight. He's basically Edward but Asian with a light saber.

I think Jung-Jae Lee fits really well into the Star Wars setting, whether that's because of his acting skills

Dude sucks at acting. He can barely speak English.
 
the author from her Instagram
femcel indeed.
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im always amazed when i see people saying kylo ren is good looking. i guess i really truly dont understand what women since i thought adam driver looked so incredibly ugly in force awakens. at this point im ready to just give up and admit i have no clue what a woman would ever find attractive in a man.

This isn't "women" though. This is fandom femcels, which are their own particular breed of women, probably a minority even within female Star Wars fandom. Most have little to no interaction with men in real life. They are either single or have fat partners they don't have sex with.

As for what made Kylo Ren attractive: he's a villain, and the first scene he appeared in was very rapey. That's it. I wouldn't agree that Adam Driver is ugly (to me he's got an interesting face that some people could find attractive, not my type but very striking), but that's not what drew them. Oscar Isaac was in Force Awakens and is far more conventionally handsome, but they lusted after the weird-looking actor instead because they want to be forcibly dominated by his lightsaber.

I would not even link this with the "bad boy" trope that a lot of women enjoy. Almost all women who like "bad boys" in fiction are attracted to the Han Solo type of character: cocky, arrogant, maybe a bit of an asshole, but with a good heart and ultimately redeemable. That's a whole universe away from "this man just killed a bunch of innocent civilians in front of me, I am so wet right now."

Which is why I'm not sure exactly what type of audience they are expecting to bring in with this shit: fandom femcels are loud, but there aren't that many of them.
 
Born too early to live out wasteland handmaid fantasies.
Born too late to send love letters to Charles Manson.
Born just in time to simp for Disney Wars "bad boys" as written by a deviant who thinks Anakin got the Dark Side fucked into him.

Hybristophilia's a hell of a drug.
 
the author from her Instagram
femcel indeed.
Ver archivo adjunto 6165724



im always amazed when i see people saying kylo ren is good looking. i guess i really truly dont understand what women since i thought adam driver looked so incredibly ugly in force awakens. at this point im ready to just give up and admit i have no clue what a woman would ever find attractive in a man.

She looks special needs. Her minder lets her play dress up because it keeps the tard rages at bay. :lol:

I am a woman and Adam Driver is hideous. Hollywood is going through a phase of pushing ugly men on us as "hunks" we're supposed to lust over. Now some women are genuinely into these bizarre looking male humanoids (just look at Cumberbitches). But I am yet to meet one offline. Needless to say if you go to the Weird looking men thread you'll find that many of us ladies aren't drinking the fug Kool Aid.

And speaking of Benedict Cumberbatch, I watched Eric and that is the most normal I have ever seen him look. The beard and glasses really tone down that Zeta Reticuli look he has going on.
 
Manny Jacinto isn't even that hot. He looks like the average overplucked Asian bottom in gay porn.

To the cucks in Hollywood, both male female and ummm other, that is what they think is hot.

They live in such a bubble that normal looking people freak them out. You need to be weird to be hot otherwise you might be a *gasp* Republican!
 
Dude sucks at acting. He can barely speak English.
He doesn't speak English at all. He was reading a script phonetically and was told what shit meant in Korean so he could understand the context.

But yeah. He knows very little conversational English, if any at all.
 
He doesn't speak English at all. He was reading a script phonetically and was told what shit meant in Korean so he could understand the context.

But yeah. He knows very little conversational English, if any at all.
I have to admit I find that forgivable. Both Sammo Hung and Jackie Chan had that in a lot of their earlier stuff, still worked.
 
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