Opinion How the Talmud Can Change Your Life - It’s the greatest self-help book ever written. And isn’t that what we need right now?

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By Liel Leibovitz
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Like so many Jews, I’ve spent the last few weeks drowning in a torrent of terrors. The reports from Israel, documenting the worst single-day massacre of Jews since Hitler’s goons were stopped, are soul-crushing. Beheaded babies, families burned alive, women brutally raped: These stories haunt me, making it difficult to go about my day. And it doesn’t help much to step out in my own city, New York, and see pro-Hamas mobs flashing swastika signs and calling for the destruction of the world’s only Jewish state.

But I’m lucky. I have the best guide ever written to getting through tough times. It’s 2,711 pages long and 1,500 years old, and it’s the greatest self-help book ever written.

It’s the Talmud.

Flip to any random page, and even if you get through the Talmud’s unique design—like an ancient precursor to the internet, it consists of intertwined links, with text and commentary presented together on the same folio—you’re not likely to walk away inspired. To the extent that it’s a book at all—my friend, the writer Jonathan Rosen, called it “a drift net for catching God”—it does much more than merely tell stories. Instead, it records arguments, often intricate ones, almost always without telling you who’s right.

Dive in, however, and you’ll find precisely the pearls of wisdom needed to make it through even the toughest of times. Here’s a taste, a tale of what you ought to do when it seems like your world has come to an end.

The Talmud tells us that when Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai—who lived in the first century CE and was widely considered his generation’s leading scholar—realized that the Romans were about to sack Jerusalem, he went to see the emperor. He didn’t ask for mercy; the holy city, he understood, was doomed. Instead, he made three seemingly strange wishes.

He asked the emperor to spare Yavneh, a town in central Israel known as a vibrant center of Torah study. He asked the emperor to protect the family of Rabban Gamliel, a communal leader and the scion of a celebrated rabbinic dynasty. And he asked the emperor to send doctors to heal a wise and righteous rabbi named Tzadok, who was so grief-stricken about the impending catastrophe that he’d stopped eating.

Pay close attention to these requests, and you’ll see principles that can still guide us all today. In times of great upheaval, Rabbi Yochanan knew, we needed to embrace three difficult but essential truths.

First, when the worst happens, we can always start again. Even when our institutions are gutted and our homes burned down, figuratively or literally, we have permission to pack up and find some other place to go, and other people who share our convictions. There’s always Yavneh, a place of refuge that may not be where we had hoped to end up but that would at least keep us safe and see to it that we survive.

But survival, Rabbi Yochanan knew, wasn’t as simple as merely setting up shop elsewhere and announcing that business continues as usual. When you lose something—or someone—you love, you often also lose hope, wondering how life could possibly go on in the face of so much devastation. This is where Rabbi Yochanan’s second request comes in: By insisting that the same rabbinic dynasty that had been in charge for decades remained in place, he tethered the Jews to tradition, giving them an ember to remind them of the great spiritual fires that once burned bright and making them believe that these same fires may burn bright once again.

The biggest piece of the puzzle, though, was still missing: Even with somewhere to live and someone to trust and something to connect them to their more storied past, people still needed concrete instruction on how to live. Enter request number three. Rather than worry about “the Jews,” a mass of people whose names and stories he didn’t and couldn’t know, Rabbi Yochanan made a point of singling out just one man, his suffering friend. By doing so, he set an example of what he wanted the society he was rebuilding to look like. In Rabbi Yochanan’s imagination, the perfect community didn’t prattle on about abstractions like virtue and justice as it stood by idly while its people suffered; it slowed down for long enough to listen to the sobs of just one elderly man, find them intolerable, and step in to help.

These principles guide us still, giving us strength even as so many feel despondent. And they’re preserved in a book—a manual for living with defeat, to quote another wise rabbi, Leonard Cohen—written for broken people in broken times. The Talmud came to be because the Temple in Jerusalem, Judaism’s beating heart for centuries, was burned down in 70 CE. The rabbis saved the old religion from extinction by capturing it in a book. They recorded their stories and their disagreements in 63 sprawling volumes; to read it today is to enter into a conversation uninterrupted by space and time, with one generation offering to the next some sound advice on how to live and asking in return not for obedience but for contemplation and then action.

So Jewish or not, heartbroken or otherwise, jump right in. More than any other book you might’ve read, the Talmud can change your life.
 
Turns out you need a careful set of instructions to read miniscule portions of it, and half of said instructions contradict eachother so I just gave up and decided I had better things to do than trawl through the kvetch source code, which upon vague inspection was literally just an endless fucking cycle of gayass dead rabbis arguing hypotheticals
That's the best summary of the Talmud I have ever read. "Kvetch source code" :story:
 
Now couple that with cultural norms that no longer exist, various cultural and social references that mattered 3,500 years ago that we simply don't fully understand, and the need to have people who studied these documents so they can tell us what they mean because half of the books simply aren't clear or are so full of morality tales or are allegory.
It's actually quite interesting getting a bit of an insight into this. I was vaguely aware of the concept of a Levirate marriage through the story of Onan, but essentially if a man dies and his widow doesn't have any children, one of the man's brothers is obliged to marry the widow and give her a baby (even if he's already married) so that baby can be the dead man's child, and the brother can keep the dead man's estate (instead of splitting it with any other brothers/family members). If they don't want to do it then a brother and the widow can do a special ritual where she steals his shoe and spits and then she can marry anyone except a Cohen (Levirate marriages are now pretty much banned, but in the scenario where a woman becomes a "yevama" she still has to do the ritual or else it's considered adultery for her to remarry).

But they've got a whole bit trying to rules lawyer what would happen if the brother accidentally slept with the widow thinking she was someone else:
One who had intercourse with his yevama, whether unwittingly, i.e., he thought he was having intercourse with someone else, or intentionally, i.e., he knew she was his yevama and nevertheless had intercourse with her without intent to perform levirate marriage; whether due to coercion or willingly; even if he was unwitting and her participation was intentional, his participation was intentional and she was unwitting, he was coerced and she was not coerced, or she was coerced and he was not coerced; both one who merely engages in the initial stage of intercourse and one who completes the act of intercourse has thereby acquired his yevama. And similarly, the Torah did not distinguish between an act of intercourse in an atypical manner, i.e., anal intercourse, and intercourse in a typical manner.
(they're now married) or if some random men threatened to kill them if they didn't have sex:
The Gemara asks: What are the circumstances the mishna is referring to when it mentions a man who was coerced? If we say that it is when gentiles coerced him by threatening to kill him if he did not have intercourse with her and he therefore had intercourse with her, didn’t Rava say that there is no such thing as coercion of a man to have intercourse with a woman with whom relations are forbidden, because there is no erection of the male organ without intent? Consequently, even if he acted due to the threat, his action is considered intentional.
(they're now married) or if he got an erection while he was asleep and woke up to her riding it:
Rather, the mishna must be referring to one who was sleeping and became erect, and his yevama drew him onto herself. However, didn’t Rav Yehuda say that a sleeping man has not acquired his yevama, as he did not intend to perform the act of intercourse at all?
(maybe doesn't count) or what if he had an erection while he was walking on the roof and then he accidentally fell off and landed on the widow and his penis went inside her:
One who fell from a roof and was inserted into a woman due to the force of his fall is liable to pay four of the five types of indemnity that must be paid by one who damaged another: Injury, pain, medical costs, and loss of livelihood. However, he is not liable to pay for the shame he caused her, as he did not intend to perform the act, and if she is his yevama, he has not acquired her in this manner.
(doesn't count, they're not married) or what if he was trying to have sex with his wife, but then the widow snuck up behind him at the last second and grabbed his dick and forced it into her, or if some random men grabbed him and the widow and pressed them together:
Rather, it is a case where he intended to have intercourse with his wife and became erect, and his yevama forcefully grabbed hold of him and he had intercourse with her. The Gemara further asks: If so, what are the circumstances of the case when both of them were coerced that was mentioned by the school of Rabbi Ḥiyya? The Gemara answers: It is a case where he intended to have intercourse with his wife, and gentiles grabbed hold of him and pressed him and his yevama against each other, and he thereby had intercourse with her.
(maybe does count) or if he had an erection and was going to try and fuck a hole in the wall or a goat:
If he intended to press his sexual organ into a wall, and he accidentally pressed it into his yevama, he has not acquired her, as he did not intend to engage in an act of sexual intercourse. However, if he intended to press his sexual organ into an animal, and he pressed it into his yevama, he has acquired her, as he at least intended to act for the purpose of sexual intercourse in general, i.e., for some form of sexual intercourse.
(doesn't count if it's a wall, does count if it's a goat) - and then a bunch of arguing about whether the Torah meant you have to get widow-married if you only do anal or not.

What the fuck was going on in 3rd century Jerusalem?
 

How the Talmud Can Change Your Life - It’s the greatest self-help book ever written.​

Yes, because it's religious lawyering that allows you to justify absolutely anything you do, as if you think you can legalese your way through the Ten Commandments etc.
- Usury is forbidden? Call it "interest" instead.
- Murdering babies is forbidden? Call it "women's health care".
- Raping children is wrong? Sure, but not if those Goyim aren't really people.
Many such cases.
 
What the fuck was going on in 3rd century Jerusalem?
The Romans weren't genociding enough.

Yes, because it's religious lawyering that allows you to justify absolutely anything you do, as if you think you can legalese your way through the Ten Commandments etc.
- Usury is forbidden? Call it "interest" instead.
- Murdering babies is forbidden? Call it "women's health care".
- Raping child
It's like they're the original Sovereign Citizens. "I'm not driving, I'm traveling."
 
What the fuck was going on in 3rd century Jerusalem?
The Talmud is essentially a book of legal theory that specializes in edge cases and thought experiments. They want an answer for every scenario so they test the edge cases to see if the theory holds up. The rabbis don't think this is actually going to happen but what would be the law if it did happen? Same thing is supported in the Torah with the concept of the wicked son who must be executed, the specifics are impossible to achieve so it is intended to teach a moral lesson.
 
I've never read the Talmud so I'll give it a go:
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I see. So you should spy on your spiritual leader going to the toilet and then maybe sneak into his bedroom and hide under his bed so you can listen to him have sex with his wife.
I'm going to see what I can get away with by saying "It is Torah and I must learn."
 
The Talmud is essentially a book of legal theory that specializes in edge cases and thought experiments. They want an answer for every scenario so they test the edge cases to see if the theory holds up.
But it goes from legal theory to rules lawyering God. God says take Saturdays off, so that means no work outside of the house and even limited work in the home, to the point that it means mothers carrying babies is forbidden outside the house because that constitutes work. So the workaround is put a wire around Manhattan so it's all the house (technically) so it's ok for the mother to carry her crotchfruit around. Or not being able to push the button on the elevator but its okay for a non-Hassidic to push the button for you. The actual orders and intent of God take a backseat of a rabbi's logic.
 
What the fuck was going on in 3rd century Jerusalem?
imagine you have a group of the most conniving awful people to ever exist, who will do anything to get out of doing what they are told. Back fill from there.
Yes, because it's religious lawyering that allows you to justify absolutely anything you do, as if you think you can legalese your way through the Ten Commandments etc.
Exactly, it's all about undermining God's will and morality.
The Talmud is essentially a book of legal theory that specializes in edge cases and thought experiments. They want an answer for every scenario so they test the edge cases to see if the theory holds up.
Lmao its literally all about undermining God's will. Go on tell the story about how God only gets a vote. You pathetic kike.
 
I'm going to see what I can get away with by saying "It is Torah and I must learn."
I've now learned that Rav Kahana was Rav's stepson - therefore Rav Kahana was hiding under the bed listening to his stepdad have sex with his mother and blurted out "Wow, Stepdad, you're so horny for Mom!". Again, what the fuck was going on in 3rd century Jerusalem?
 
But it goes from legal theory to rules lawyering God. God says take Saturdays off, so that means no work outside of the house and even limited work in the home, to the point that it means mothers carrying babies is forbidden outside the house because that constitutes work. So the workaround is put a wire around Manhattan so it's all the house (technically) so it's ok for the mother to carry her crotchfruit around. Or not being able to push the button on the elevator but its okay for a non-Hassidic to push the button for you. The actual orders and intent of God take a backseat of a rabbi's logic.
The definition of work is one of 39 categories of labor that took place in the Temple. Additionally, it's also restrictions placed by the rabbis to prevent you from accidentally performing labor that's forbidden. There's things you're not allowed to carry on Shabbat and you're not allowed to carry in certain areas. An eruv never lets us carry on Shabbat in an area where it's already Biblically prohibited to carry. That's why eruvs often don't go across highways (or other areas that are considered by the rabbis setting up the eruv to be a Biblical public domain). In this case, the area in an eruv is a place where we would be Biblically allowed to carry on Shabbat in the first place. The problem is that it's confusing which areas we're Biblically allowed to carry in and which areas are Biblically prohibited, so the rabbis said "To minimize confusion, don't carry in any of the ambiguous areas unless you figure out the exact borders in advance and formally declare the area in that border to be your shared space."

So an eruv isn't a later law trying to get around an earlier law. It's all one law that said not to carry unless there's an eruv.

Same with shabbat elevators. We don't use electricity on shabbat but if a non jew pushes the button or if it's preprogrammed, there's no problem using it.

You pathetic kike.
It's interesting, you spend most of your time on this forum railing against Jews. Even at my most bitter and hateful I didn't have the energy to seethe essentially all day, how do you do it?
 
I'll stick with the Bible and its constant warnings about avoiding sticking your dick in crazy. You've got a woman who lies and gets her husband in trouble with God and kicked out of his house forever, a woman who gets her husband blinded and enslaved for a quick buck, a crazy hot pagan chick who gets everyone killed, a cougar who falsely accuses a young man of rape after he refuses to fuck her, and so on.

And who could forget the immortal advice of Proverbs:

Immoral Women Lead Only to Divorce Rape
1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
listen carefully to my wise counsel.
2 Then you will show discernment,
and your lips will express what you’ve learned.
3 For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
and her mouth is smoother than oil.
4 But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
8 Stay away from her!
Don’t go near the door of her house!
9 If you do, you will lose your honor
and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.
10 Strangers will consume your wealth,
and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor.

A Tit in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush; or Don't Cheat on Your Wife
15 Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.
18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

Avoid Debt and Shitty Friends
1 My child, if you have put up security for a friend’s debt
or agreed to guarantee the debt of a stranger—
2 if you have trapped yourself by your agreement
and are caught by what you said—
3 follow my advice and save yourself,
for you have placed yourself at your friend’s mercy.
Now swallow your pride;
go and beg to have your name erased.
4 Don’t put it off; do it now!
Don’t rest until you do.
5 Save yourself like a gazelle escaping from a hunter,
like a bird fleeing from a net.

Avoid Sluts, Avoid the Clap
25 Don’t lust for her beauty.
Don’t let her coy glances seduce you.
26 For a prostitute will bring you to poverty,
but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life.
27 Can a man scoop a flame into his lap
and not have his clothes catch on fire?

And Finally, Don't Let Your Dick Do the Thinking
6 While I was at the window of my house,
looking through the curtain,
7 I saw some naïve young men,
and one in particular who lacked common sense.
8 He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman,
strolling down the path by her house.
10 The woman approached him,
seductively dressed and sly of heart.
13 She threw her arms around him and kissed him,
and with a brazen look she said,
15 "You’re the one I was looking for!
I came out to find you, and here you are!
19 for my husband is not home.
He’s away on a long trip."
21 So she seduced him with her pretty speech
and enticed him with her flattery.
22 He followed her at once,
like an ox going to the slaughter.
26 For she has been the ruin of many;
many men have been her victims.
27 Her house is the road to the grave.
Her bedroom is the den of death.
 
Same with shabbat elevators. We don't use electricity on shabbat but if a non jew pushes the button or if it's preprogrammed, there's no problem using it.
Except like our previous conversation you dropped, you said riding a horse was work. If making someone else do work for you is work, that means shabbos goy are work. It's all work and rules lawyering to get around intention. You've got nothing but circular logic to fall back on.
It's interesting, you spend most of your time on this forum railing against Jews. Even at my most bitter and hateful I didn't have the energy to seethe essentially all day, how do you do it?
It's barely a fraction of my time, seeing as I usually multitask. There's zero seething at all, funny enough. Fighting against literal evil isn't work, it's an absolute joy. While you tire yourself reading the insane ramblings of old Jewish men trying to justify to not only themselves and everyone around them that it's OK to chop up and suck a babies dick. I am out here with boundless energy pointing out how that's literally fucked up and evil and you should be destroyed for it. It's literally all there in your book. You just have to look for it. Stop being evil.
 
Except like our previous conversation you dropped, you said riding a horse was work.
Nope. Riding a horse is forbidden because you might break off a branch from a tree to use as a switch, nothing about riding a horse is inherently problematic other than that.


Fighting against literal evil isn't work, it's an absolute joy.
Meh fair enough
 
Nope. Riding a horse is forbidden because you might break off a branch from a tree to use as a switch, nothing about riding a horse is inherently problematic other than that.
Lmao you think that makes any sense. Work is work, doing something is work. How is doing something that could lead to doing something else, work? I thought jews were smart. Again it's all just circular logic to confuse you so you accept the other evil parts. You can't even defend it coherently.
Meh fair enough
So you admit it's evil then? Nothing else to say? God you are pathetic.
 
@Catch The Rainbow

See if you can make the distinction between these two.

1)

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2)

The definition of work is one of 39 categories of labor that took place in the Temple. Additionally, it's also restrictions placed by the rabbis to prevent you from accidentally performing labor that's forbidden. There's things you're not allowed to carry on Shabbat and you're not allowed to carry in certain areas. An eruv never lets us carry on Shabbat in an area where it's already Biblically prohibited to carry. That's why eruvs often don't go across highways (or other areas that are considered by the rabbis setting up the eruv to be a Biblical public domain). In this case, the area in an eruv is a place where we would be Biblically allowed to carry on Shabbat in the first place. The problem is that it's confusing which areas we're Biblically allowed to carry in and which areas are Biblically prohibited, so the rabbis said "To minimize confusion, don't carry in any of the ambiguous areas unless you figure out the exact borders in advance and formally declare the area in that border to be your shared space."

Are you truly unable to see that 1) is what you were actually Commanded, whereas 2) is literally "a Rabbi said"?

This, by the way, is hilarious:
So an eruv isn't a later law trying to get around an earlier law. It's all one law that said not to carry unless there's an eruv.
- Do you know what Papal Indulgences were?

Also:
Same with shabbat elevators. We don't use electricity on shabbat but if a non jew pushes the button or if it's preprogrammed, there's no problem using it.
Yes, it's ok for the Goyim to sin on your behalf...
 
Are you truly unable to see that 1) is what you were actually Commanded, whereas 2) is literally "a Rabbi said"?
There's 613 commandments, not 10. The second example is Torah prohibitions plus rabbinical.

Do you know what Papal Indulgences were?
Paying money for forgiveness of sins, nothing to do with it.


Yes, it's ok for the Goyim to sin on your behalf...
Not a sin for them, they only have to abide by the Noahide laws.


Lmao you think that makes any sense. Work is work, doing something is work. How is doing something that could lead to doing something else, work?
Why am I not allowed to sip on a beer while driving? If I stay under the legal drinking limit there should be nothing wrong with it
 
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