UN Police officers desert station citing goblin attacks

Police officers desert station citing goblin attacks​

May 30, 2024 Staff Reporter Zimbabwe 0


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The Gwambe police base in Bulilima, Matabeleland South has been deserted by officers who claimed they were being terrorised by goblins at night.
Ward 2 Councillor, Mabed Ngulani, confirmed the unusual situation. “We built a police station for the officers, and initially, they patrolled in pairs,” Ngulani explained. “However, they haven’t been able to stay for extended periods.”
According to Cllr Ngulani, the male officers reported being terrorised by female goblins at night. “They described being harassed – bodies being violated, doors opening on their own, and things climbing on the roof – making it impossible to sleep,” he said.


A meeting was held last week with village heads and police officials from Plumtree. “The police from Plumtree withdrew the officers from Gwambe, stating they wouldn’t endanger them further,” Cllr Ngulani said.
The local chief also reportedly addressed the situation and cautioned villagers against such behaviour.
“Police came yesterday and said we should look for another alternative accommodation but there is no accommodation at Gwambe school and they will be using the clinic as an office, we haven’t got accommodation but we asked them to come back and we see if the attacks will continue” Cllr Ngulani explained.
Matabeleland South police spokesperson Inspector Loveness Mangena said she was not aware of the matter.
 
I got guess the country wrong. Thought it might be Iceland
Unfortunately named place anyway.
 
Can you imagine how easy it must be to get away with crime in a place like this? "Sir, witnesses say you murdered your neighbor, raped his wife and burned down his house"

"Nah, it was goblins wearing my clothes"

"Hmmm. Makes sense to me"
 
Bring out your best club and armor because those are the necessary steps to remove Goblins.
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Make sure you prepare properly. Because goblins will do horrible things to you if given a chance.

At least they're not female orcs.
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This is exactly why Ethan Ralph should be kept out of the hog house.
 
As a goblin myself, I can corroborate these reports. Now the tribe has a fancy new station to live in.

Total Goblin Victory
 
It was shortstack female goblins but these niggas be ghey so they ran away like p.diddy does at the sight of a vagina.
 
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