Who is the most soy ancient philosopher?

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

I can't stand anything after Plutarch

Edit: WTF WHY CAN'T I ADD MORE OPTIONS????

 

[Night Raiders]

Diogenes for being a filthy redditor or Marcus Aurelius for being a stoic cuckold who went into a soy rage because his wife cheated on him with a real man, a gladiator.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

Clearly Diogenes, that motherfucker was Reddit tier - completely disingenuous, weird for the sake of weird and awful personal hygiene.

Alexander the Great (famous homo) comes up to him, soyfacing, and says:
"Diogenes, you good sir, have won the Lyceum on this day, pray, let me give you my Reddit gold, good sir? Or anything else you would desire?"
And then Diogenes said, "Get out of my sunlight, lol,"
And Alexander soyfaced even harder and everybody clapped and gave him so many epic hecking updootules.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Pythagoras was a vegetarian "i love soyence" antiwork commie.

One Pythagorean maxim was "koinà tà phílōn" ("All things in common among friends").

 

[Soup Sammiches]

Soylifus, he was a student of Aristotle.

 

[Anti Snigger]

Your favorite philosopher

 

[DumbDude43]

or Marcus Aurelius for being a stoic cuckold who went into a soy rage because his wife cheated on him with a real man, a gladiator.

i think this is just propaganda made up by people who didn't like him after he was dead
sort of like the rumors about catherine the great having fucked a horse, those were made up by her enemies at court

 

[An Ghost]

Epicurus: the OG atheist. Vegetarian. Didn't fuck. Possibly allowed slaves and women to participate in discussions. Bro was so into soyence he was one of the original atomic materialists. Believed the key to happiness was to not worry about leaving a legacy or the after life which is just cuck talk. Cicero likened becoming an epicurist to becoming an eunuch cause there was no changing you back to normal.

Pythagoras was a vegetarian "i love soyence" antiwork commie.

Bro literally never ate a bean in his life because he believed they contained the spirits of dead people.

 

[MDWU]

Don't know, not an autistic /pol/tard who cares about ancient navel gazers.
Which one told you to stop worrying about dumb shit and go get some bitches on your dick?
He'd be the least "soy" among them

 

[revenge of rebecca]

It is kind of hard to be soy and survive when life is so hard and full of warfare and atrocity.

None of these people were complaining about getting their feelings hurt because of a mild insult or something not intended to be insulting or whatever.

Epicurus might be the answer, since he liked gardening or at least liked hanging out in a garden all the time.

Diogenes was based, idk what you guys are talking about

 

[isalaide]

Surely the chinky ones would have contained the most soy

 

[Soggy Floppa]

 

[Tablet County]

ur uncle