The only replicators we see, most of the time, are aboard federation starships, and usually only in situations where people are on duty. They have been shown to make real alcoholic drinks, rather than synthehol; Worf served blood wine to those those Irish peasants in up the long ladder, after they were dismissive of the whiskey it produced (it was probably a shitty, lowest-common-denominator blend) and again to Kahlest'sKahless's clone, though he said it wasn't as good as the real thing that time.
Lower Decks actually dug into this whole thing a few times, setting up the situation where lower ranks only have access to a limited selection from the replicators, and can only get real booze in the crew lounge. It fits pretty well with your idea that Starfleet is so anally petty about people having too much of the wrong kind of fun - but it's shown as a negative quality when it comes up. This is actually why I like Lower Decks, because it delves into some of the unfortunate reality that emerges from being overly utopian, while still holding up the ideals of the earlier show as something to aspire to. A lot of the world outside the federation is shown to far from the perfection the Federation imagines itself creating, with more than a few of its plots echoing Eddington's anger at the Federation and his comparison of it to the Borg.
The fact that it's the show over which Kurtzman has the least amount of oversight and influence might have something to do with it.
Finally someone appreciates Lower Decks.
The topic of replication and biosynthesis has always been a wishy washy subject in Star Trek; from some characters you would believe that replicators are common in the same way TVs are now and that meat is almost an impossible idea of eating, while at the same time other characters like O'Brien describe having real meat. It appears to be a choice kinda situation.
I also don't think the Federation, or at least Starfleet, is especially anal about controlling the access to overly indulgent foods any more than most Militaries are (if you accept that Starfleet is paramilitary). It kinda makes sense that if you have a society with such comforts and technology that even lifting objects, washing laundry, overall cleaning etc has been removed from the expected labour of each day that you'd want to control their calorie intake. There's never been any reluctance of Starfleet officers of engaging in things such as extensive meals and actual alcohol worrying about Starfleet policy; there's never been an instance in the show when a character has been reprimanded for such (to the extent that Romulan Ale, while illegal, is just accepted as a regular thing in the same way weed was prior to legalisation).
Synthathol does actually get people intoxicated but in a different way. Depending on some sources the type of experience is either that of alcohol but with a much, much quicker recovery time (you don't stay drunk for very long) or more like a high from something like THC.
Then if you go to the extreme example of Picard then apparently the Federation is more libertarian than authoritarian when it comes to drugs and the access to them.
I think if we were to come up with an actual psychologically relevant reason for it, then it may be the same way that cocaine and opium were fairly common along with drinking beer instead of water but suggesting the same thing to someone now would consider someone a degenerate.
Rafey can replicate a house. Picard's vineyard burned down pointlessly in Star Trek Generations and he replicated a new one. Rafey didn't have a problem with space at all.
The fact that people live where they were born has been referenced multiple times. They probably don't allow aliens outside of officials to live on Earth due to overpopulation. Besides, we've seen in multiple episodes that hating your place of birth is highly discouraged. Earth in the future doesn't have the "Don't like your country? Move to another!" mentality that leads to mass migration.
This has kinda been explained in a few ways. There isn't really an issue with overpopulation on Earth (at least none that's been described) but the reason most people decide to stay within their own home planet is due to most people not really having any real desire to leave their planet or go to space. Keep in mind Star Trek focuses around Starfleet and the people who chose to go in to space; Picard describes how his father wasn't especially happy with his admission to Starfleet as have a few other characters.
There's also the factor of the same reasons a lot of ships are species specific -- different planets have different gravities, different atmospheres, and different climates, so being stuck on an alien world - no matter how friendly it is - that is different from your own would be a strained existence.
