Lolcows you don't give a shit about

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Chris Chan. I never saw the appeal even when it was new and I don't get how that retard still has a following today. Chris could die tomorrow in a nigger flash mob and literally no one of value would be lost.

All of the streamers. Maybe I'm just old but I don't give a fuck about any of these people or understand why they're popular. I don't need some overpaid lazy faggot spoon feeding me opinions on video games, movies, pop culture etc. I can form my own, thank you. Shit like Spoony and AVGN and Boogies Francis were funny back in the day but it was because those were characters.

Weeb drama and by extension voice actors. All of these people should be sterilized.
 
I agree with most of these. Chris's time has run its course. DSP and Tooter, who cares? MovieBob is just another insane worthless Xitter liberal.

With Ralph, you had to have been there from the Corn Joke or Metokur's Internet Blood Sport days. His history is a painfully long saga of burnt bridges, friends-turned-enemies, friends-soon-to-be enemies, ex-wives, concubines, guntspawn, etc.

You kinda have to get in on the ground floor of a lolcow for them to be funny. Otherwise, you're always trying to play catch-up with their lore.
 
Tranny's. Avoid trooncows like the plague. It's just too gross.

The best kind of lolcow will always be a fat retard like an Ethan Ralph/Patrick Tomlinson type guy. It's the purest form of lolcow.
 
Weird discord faggots. If I have to bust out the whiteboard and start drawing connecting lines between a dozen unremarkable retards I'm out. I also apply this to 3rd-tier orbiters (usually of the gunt) who stream to a grand total of 7 people.
 
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Ethan Ralph. I don't know why, but I hate that dude so much, I never watch Null's streams live. I only watch it afterwards so that I can skip the Ralph segments.
 
It's been said already, but I don't care for predictable lolcows like DSP. Honestly, for the past however many years his whole schtick has been "play game badly and whine about it," while his a-logs rave and rant about it like the Two Minutes Hate. Same goes for MovieBob and most other streamers; they've bottomed out already, and they just do the same dumb shit over and over again, and that just isn't interesting.

Reading about a lolcow should be like reading Lord Byron, a tragedy driven by the increasingly poor decisions made by its protagonist in the situations that he put himself in and his refusal to accept that he had made a mistake, that ultimately ends either tragically or in his redemption. Ergo, I'm only interested in the lolcows that are actively fucking their lives up, like Fatrick and Russell.
 
With all the shit DSP gets I can't help but feel bad for him. He beats the IRS and his rabid haters seethe while STILL paying his bills. Stop giving him money if he's literally Satan. Otherwise shut it and lighten up
 
Meat Target dijo:
You kinda have to get in on the ground floor of a lolcow for them to be funny. Otherwise, you're always trying to play catch-up with their lore.
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That’s fair. I’m a newfag but a long time Chris watcher. I stuck it out through the boring, painful later sagas because I was there for all the goofy fun stuff like the attraction sign, Pickle Man, muscle bra, etc. I can’t imagine being interested coming in at Depressed Tranny Chris.
 
WelperHelper99 dijo:
With all the shit DSP gets I can't help but feel bad for him. He beats the IRS and his rabid haters seethe while STILL paying his bills. Stop giving him money if he's literally Satan. Otherwise shut it and lighten up
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I'll watch a video of him fucking up GTA or Dark Souls every now and then for a giggle but I don't get the appeal of following him. He's been really boring the last couple years. I get it he's stupid and bad at video games but there's no fucking way I'll sit through a six hour stream of him playing Armored Core 6 and begging for money.

One of the best moves of the site recently was the creation of the Internet Tough Guys board. These are the funniest cows. They all flail like complete spastic retards and it was a great decision to put them all in one place.
 
RACISM dijo:
Any of the fat girl ones. Fat girls are niggers.
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100%. The fat chick lolcows are so boring and talk about them is invariably an "OH MY GAWD AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID THEN? I, LIKE, TOTALLY CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WOULD DO THAT." hen party. They're as self-righteous as the most insufferable WingsofRedemption trolls.

A lot of times I'll skip through Chantal updates on MATI because it's just "she did this while being fat and stupid, she went here while being fat and stupid". Who caaaaaaaaares?
 
Matt Damon dijo:
100%. The fat chick lolcows are so boring and talk about them is invariably an "OH MY GAWD AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID THEN? I, LIKE, TOTALLY CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WOULD DO THAT." hen party. They're as self-righteous as the most insufferable WingsofRedemption trolls.

A lot of times I'll skip through Chantal updates on MATI because it's just "she did this while being fat and stupid, she went here while being fat and stupid". Who caaaaaaaaares?
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I agree that Amberlynn and Chantal are boring, and their threads are full of seething fatties thinly disguising their a-logging. But Amy Ramadan (PBUH) was a hilarious gem. I revisit her thread when I need a chuckle.
 
Cyraxx. His trolls are awful and his orbiters are all like "ZOMG this is the next Chris Chan he'll go down in internet history!!1!" He's just another generic delusional degenerate who throws hissy fits at the end of the day. Also Fatrick and TonyInTheMorn because they do nothing but sperg on Twitter. I downright loathe pretty much any drama involving big streamers that aren't trannies (I swear I get AIDS any time I look at Twitch drama ). It's like watching the terminally online version of Entertainment Tonight, which is gay and dumb. Same with the anime dubbing clique and weeb website/convention drama. The deathfats aren't really interesting because most of us know a fatty in real life, so they aren't really special.

DSP is pretty uninteresting except for Derich, OIC, and the WWE Champions spending. Most of the "wow he's so bad at video games" talk is boring (except the time he rage quit Kirby, that was pretty funny). Tommy Tooter and Wings may be boring now, but they have histories chock-full of hilarity. Bossmanjack is hilarious, but he's difficult to keep up with. Cobra is fun as well, if for no other reason than that he's a 32-year-old edgy teenager, but I don't follow him closely.
 
OlympicFapper dijo:
Ethan Ralph. I don't know why, but I hate that dude so much, I never watch Null's streams live. I only watch it afterwards so that I can skip the Ralph segments.
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Same here. Ralph had a few moments like Portugal and the baby but... I don't know, he's just boring to me most of the time.
Spic Fuentes is also rather boring to me and I personally think he'd be nowhere as big of a cow if it wasn't for America First and the Groyper movement.

Personally, I'm more into batshit cows like the troons and Cyrax. And of course Chris is Chris, he's the OG.
 
- Once a thread has dedicated gimmick account about that cow
- Once it goes past 1000 pages
- Once thread is older than three years

At this point you know it will be the same shit over and over again with full blown autists discussing the same points every time.

With black homo lust if its the cooking with jack thread. There is way too much black dick craving in that thread.
 
Rachel Baker because they decided to have her be a co-lolcow for Spoony's thread when that should've never been the case. If she's a lolcow, give her a thread of her own because it's annoying to have go into the thread to try to get updates about Spoony only to hear people talking about her instead. Then all the TGWTG lolcows have gotten pretty boring in the last year. Allison doesn't really do Twitter meltdowns anymore so people just talk about how ugly Allison is, Doug hasn't really done any lolcow things since The Wall review, Marzgurl's thread is filled with people seething about her about how she's a dumb ugly orangutan who has a manlet for a husband who keeps trying to destroy Vic Mignogna, The last interesting drama Linkara had was the whole thing with Oneyplays, and Lindsay Ellis just stays in her Nebula/Patreon hugbox so there's not much to really talk about in her thread.
 
All of them honestly, I followed DSP's antics for a couple of years but just got bored since it's the same shit and that more or less applies to many and i'm probably in the small minority but I really don't find any of them entertaining and seeing or hearing their conclusion is probably the only interesting aspect which rarely happens because almost all of them get off with a slap on the wrist
not to mention but i've found more entertainment from personal cows I've known or come across than many here with full on threads
 
i think any horrowcow just kinda does it for me. unless, it's someone interesting, i just don't care for adults sexting minors, raping them, or any sex crime like that. i don't find it entertaining.
 
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