[Poll] Ethan Ralph's marriage to May - How owned will Null be?

[Delamain]

Mega late to this
In the words of Elvis
I'm going, I'm going, I'm gone
-Elvis before fading into a coma (shortly after being found passed out in the Shiter
But no one really knows so)

 

[Niggolash]

And I'll do anythin' you ever dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the gunt that fall
Oh, May
Put your hooves around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is just a horse
Oh, May
Do you wanna get married
Or run away?

 

[QuatoLives]

How the fuck does she breastfeed with those flatscreen tits?

You think thats happening?

That baby is getting formula made with mexican ditch water.

 

[Neil]

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This is fucking depressing, wow. I can't even laugh at how white trash this is. Poor Rosy.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I think Harry Morris is a massive cunt. It’s one thing to throw Ralph under the bus and call him a fat disgusting sweaty pig is one thing even though it’s probably true but to throw your own daughter under the bus is another thing.

It breaks my heart to see it. That’s his daughter he’s shitting on. The first one was he moaning about too much salt… we guide our children and show that mistakes are okay and we learn from them. I guess this is why there are so many lolcows and that’s because these weirdos and freaks never had a strong role model in life. Never a solid family.

If Harry was a good man why did he let his daughter do that shit? Why attack his daighter? - she’s only going to rebel more. Girls with daddy issues look for another father to fill that void.

In Harry's defense it sounds like Harry was trying very hard to abide The Gunt's terrible treatment of Pantsu until that manipulative slatternly trollop decided to pit her own sister against The Gunt, resulting in The Gunt trying to get that sister fired from her job. Then it was "Ralph's a bad person!" and "Ralph treats Pantsu and Cozy Rozy like shit!". Then came the SWATting of Harry to which Pantsu's reaction was along the lines of "whatever".

 

[Phony Chicken]

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Why the fuck does he always do that awkward looking hand on the baby's head thing?

 

[break these cuffs]

Why the fuck does he always do that awkward looking hand on the baby's head thing?

He has no idea how a loving father would interact with a baby.

 

[Fannyscum]

While the Killstream Koupling was too trashy for Lil Vegas Chapel to feature on their twitter account I did find this:

Tweet | Archive

Thank you for celebrating with us DerangedFaggot!

 

[6MillionCoofs]

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This is supposed to be the happiest day of his life…why does he look terrified?

 

[RazorBackBacon]

I think Harry Morris is a massive cunt. It’s one thing to throw Ralph under the bus and call him a fat disgusting sweaty pig is one thing even though it’s probably true but to throw your own daughter under the bus is another thing.

It breaks my heart to see it. That’s his daughter he’s shitting on. The first one was he moaning about too much salt… we guide our children and show that mistakes are okay and we learn from them. I guess this is why there are so many lolcows and that’s because these weirdos and freaks never had a strong role model in life. Never a solid family.

If Harry was a good man why did he let his daughter do that shit? Why attack his daighter? - she’s only going to rebel more. Girls with daddy issues look for another father to fill that void.

I'd throw my daughter under the bus too if she was an out and proud pedophile who dated another pedophile only to dump him and then try to sleeze her way into another relationship that just so happened to have a very vulnerable pregnant woman.

This is supposed to be the happiest day of his life…why does he look terrified?

Two half-dead neurons threw off the blanket of booze and pills he sends them every day long enough to fire off the signal that marrying a horse-faced pedophile to own a forum-owning hobo is a retarded move.

 

[Begemot]

If ever a marriage was destined for an ugly, painful, spiteful, tearful ending, it's definitely this one. I thought it was against the law to sexually take advantage of the mentally handicapped?

Do you think May will ever be charged, though?

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Why the fuck does he always do that awkward looking hand on the baby's head thing?

My firwt thought is that he's testing the head like an old lady would test a melon.

 

[Shield Breaker]

I seriously can't get over the size difference between the two of them. She's so fucking skinny, I'm surprised she didn't die giving birth to Ralph's seed. How the fuck does she breastfeed with those flatscreen tits? Good thing that dress has straps.

I don't think I'd be very hungry having to watch fat fuck Ethan shoveling so much slop in his gullet at dinner either.

 

[NotAlfred]

ChatGPT weighs in with a diss track.

Spoiler: yo yo yo

Verse 1:
Listen up y'all, I got a story to tell
'Bout a porker named Ethan Ralph, and a horse named Meigh as well
They tied the knot, in Vegas, it was a sight
But now they're headed for a divorce, ain't that right?

Chorus:
Ethan Ralph, used to be on top of his game
Hosting the Killstream, and calling it his claim to fame
But anger and jealousy took control
Now a laughing stock, with a tarnished soul

Verse 2:
In Lisbon, Portugal, he got jumped by pimps
They took his purse, and left him with broken bones, scars and bruises
His orbital bone was shattered, one eye now staring off track
And if that wasn't enough, a Norf FC supporter got him back

Chorus:
Ethan Ralph, used to be on top of his game
Hosting the Killstream, and calling it his claim to fame
But anger and jealousy took control
Now a laughing stock, with a tarnished soul

Verse 3:
Meigh, she saw something in him, gave him a chance
But their love was short-lived, in a doomed romance
They wed in Vegas, but it was a sign
Their relationship in trouble, and now it's decline

Chorus:
Ethan Ralph, used to be on top of his game
Hosting the Killstream, and calling it his claim to fame
But anger and jealousy took control
Now a laughing stock, with a tarnished soul

Outro:
Ethan Ralph's past mistakes, forever haunting him
A cautionary tale of how anger can ruin
Love takes patience and a steady turn
But for Ethan Ralph, it's too late, his bridges have been burned.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Ralph have you seen a movie called Idiocracy? It’s the future you’re contributing to.

 

[I Hate Anime Avatars]

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I can never get over how old he looks for his age, he's only what late 30's? Yet he looks like a man well into his 60s. Digibro's ex may be fuck ugly but at least she looks about her age.

 

[Ozzymandias]

Do you think May will ever be charged, though?

eh she monkey branches but Ralph is like IP2 levels of rock bottom. so who could possibly take this horse for a ride?

 

[darkprince56]

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I rarely see photos of him carrying his baby. It's always Amanda lugging around the stroller or car seat, or is the one carrying her. Ethan awkwardly touches her head like he doesn't know how he's supposed to interact with his baby.

Is that odd or is my own experience making me biased? My dad always interacted with me, carried me around the store, for example.

 

[Phony Chicken]

I rarely see photos of him carrying his baby. It's always Amanda lugging around the stroller or car seat, or is the one carrying her. Ethan awkwardly touches her head like he doesn't know how he's supposed to interact with his baby.

Is that odd or is my own experience making me biased? My dad always interacted with me, carried me around the store, for example.

It's very odd. Almost like he wants nothing to do with the baby but has to do the photo ops with her to own the haters.

 

[darkprince56]

I won't believe they're legally married till their marriage license gets posted.

Oh, they're married alright.

DocDetails

License can be ordered here:

MarriageDocumentsAvailable

License # 202301100001337