Christmas is the Worst Holiday

[MisoSupper]

While watching this video about Mariah Carey I started to have some clarity on why I and so many others hate Christmas so fucking much. I think people not living in the massive apocalyptic Blade Runnner-esque hellscapes of big cities can at least appreciate Christmas and the curse of Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" in jolly jest. But for us unfortunate souls condemned to these concrete jungles…we have to toil through the constant congested traffic, road rage, packed shopping malls, overworked clerks, and stressed out consumers packed like sardines in tight spaces decorated in the same cheap saccharine uniformity while the monotonous drone of the same 5 songs repeating at nauseum...all to buy consumerist shit that no one wants or needs.

What makes matters even worse is the individual that refuses to partake in these absurd rituals are chastised and socially ostracized. Christmas is a special type of hell that perfectly encapsulates the absolute misery of modern life. Thanksgiving is leagues better with next to no baggage associated with it. Just turkey and family, no presents, no bullshit, no songs...as it should be. Really, the only purpose I see in Christmas is an excuse for kids to get presents, but I don't really see the point of them getting EVERYTHING on this one day, when they could get presents scattered throughout the year instead. Isn't that healthier?

TLDR: Christmas is the worst holiday and we'd probably be better off axing it altogether and just extend Thanksgiving.

I can't be the only one that thinks this right??

 

[Boss Hawg]

Fun fact, many old school Deep South Baptist I grew up around did not celebrate Christmas bc they saw it as a Catholic-Pagan (appropriated from Yule and other winter solstice events) holiday that had too many pagan elements (tree, gift giving, etc.) and many don’t think Christ was born during the Winter Solstice.
However, I love Christmas, but I understand what ya mean about the modern materialistic Xmas TM.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I guess a way to look at it is that Christmas can suck in the soy city, but can be good in the not soy city.

 

[Dialtone]

1. Lol calm down
2. Suffer

 

[Skeeter Khomen-Getit]

Personally, I do not believe Christmas is the worst holiday. I get your angle, Christmas is a shell of it's former self. Christmas has become a consumer ritual by the elves. Watch any Christmas commercial, they are always pushing overpriced garbage nobody needs. When you get older it does sour, but then gets sweeter when giving someone you care about a gift, watching their reaction. It is wholesome.

 

[PFM]

Christmas has always been a depressing time for me.

 

[Beak Thing]

Theological matters aside, I love Christmas because it's this innocent, mindless, excessive consumerism that stands in complete opposition to the New Normal. As if packed stores are a bad thing...buy everything and anything, gorge yourself on every food and drink mankind can produce. Drive there! Drive around just looking at the stores and people around, drive around neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights.

Buy plenty of turkey, ham and sausage for your Christmas dinner and keep those lights blazing.

Consumption is the only weapon we have against the bugpods. Do your damndest to commit mortal carbon sins to make Greta and Klaus seethe.

And let's be honest, the music is catchy.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

There can be such a wonderful joy that exist on those special occasions when your huddled together in front of a fire drinking coco surrounded by beautiful lights and your just truly content.
Then your dog dies and every single light and cheer starts to mocks you as your soul grows cold to the superficial happiness we desperately try convince ourselves is real while you grow more confident in the strength of your finger as you look down the barrel to the last great question.

Also lol imagine living in a city

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Juneteenth

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

It's cold, you're old, and people around you are happy.

 

[Executive Petrel]

 

[Kenya Jones]

Kill yourself.

 

[Overcast]

I'm sort of mixed on Christmas nowadays.

It's supposed to be about Christ but people only really care about the obnoxious music, gaudy decorations and buying expensive gifts.

Back when I was a child though, I loved it, and wouldn't want to take that kind of joy away from another child. Plus, being around family during really cold weather and watching their reactions to the gifts you give them is nice.

 

[Butterschmalz]

Kill yourself.

Read it somewhere that during the holidays the suicide rate reaches its peak. Fucking sad!

 

[Dysnomia]

Commercialism ruined it. Also, no one is holding a gun to people's heads for last minute shopping. Most of them do it to themselves and create the stress they hate. Try doing your shopping all year round. The earlier you start the better chance of getting what you want. The Tickle Me Elmo fiasco was one of the most hilarious things ever. The toy came out in July. All of the sudden on Black Friday people went crazy thanks in part to Rosie O'Donnell's fat ass. Had you bought the stupid thing in the summer and put it away where Junior couldn't find it then you did it right.

I don't even know what 2022's "it" toy is. Imma look now because I be a curious mofo.

Some Magic crystal ball thing that fills with mist then reveals a plush toy inside. It's called Magic Mixies. And Squishmallows. Because of course Squishmallows. Looks like those surprise Barbie tubes are popular too. In the mermaid set there's a MerKen that looks like a tranny. The Chelsea set has a mertwink in it. What fun.

 

[Chocolate Wombat]

Mariah Carey has a lumpy mashed potato face.

 

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[Kenya Jones]

Read it somewhere that during the holidays the suicide rate reaches its peak. Fucking sad!

Good.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Nah, Christmas is great. It's the second creepiest holiday after Halloween.

It's during the cold months, it's steeped in mysticism and tradition. Snow is very isolating, and even in the cities with all the hustle and bustle and overly cheery Christmas songs it feels somehow even more detached than usual. People are concerned with their own business. Just about anything could be out of place, and they'd probably not even notice.

Even in the most surface level traditions there's some fatass magical man who watches everything you do, wears blood red, and will show up to traipse around your house at night so you better not fuck around or you'll be sorry.

You bet you're going to get cozy and spend time with family, because if you don't you'll get sent out into the forest where you'll be all alone and your pleas of help will be muffled by the snow, where if you were to collapse nobody would find your body until springtime.

Point is that there's a little bit of edge there that I appreciate.

After Christmas I don't even know what the next creepiest holiday would be. Saint Patrick's Day? 4th of July due to the risk of explosives incidents? Regardless it's a very far 3rd.

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

That would be Easter. Christmas at least has pleasant smells that rarely overstay their welcome, good food, nice decorations, some traditional alcoholic drinks, and the surprise of presents. Easter is the holiday that promises candy and food, but always delivers a bait-and-switch with religious Gruntilda relatives oinking on and on about THU REZURREKSHUNN and SINNN and INGRATTITOOD over some boiled ham.