2022 Lolcow Derby - AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME!!!

[Don't Tread on Me]

Can we put money on a horse to scratch? Guaranteed Ethan Ralph will be in at least one car wreck before the race

 

[Skitarii]

I don't get it, is this some kind of fetish?

 

[usernames can change now!]

narcissa is a speedrunner, have you seen the horse glitch? quarter mile in 0.34 seconds

 

[PhoBingas]

50,000 CoachCoin on SlobberStud. Daddy needs a new video card!

 

[SevenEightNine]

This is my favourite new thread in a long time, and Ethan Ralph will Ralphamale his way to victory, by a dozen lengths

 

[Cake Farts]

I wish I was as easily entertained as you

 

[Vic Viper T301]

I thought this was going to be about DSP's wife.

 

[Furry killer]

Chance "Cyraxx" Wilkins on a pony would be a wildcard.

 

[WeWuzFinns]

quit horsing around op we have cows to alog

 

[Spergichu]

I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to process this.

 

[NotFatChild]

Pat is fat, so you should bet on him coming in last.

Not by any medical standard child. He has cheated completed every marathon he's ran. All one of them.

 

[TheJelqster]

I'm rooting for Peetz, welcome to blockland!

 

[Kier]

This thread is awful. And yet, it is fantastic. Il put 300 "agree stickers" on Keffals for winner.

 

[Action Orange]

I'm betting everything on War Admiral. All the other horses shall die on the track in a freak accident, but the War Admiral WILL survive, bumbling across the finish line.

 

[My Name is Ed]

I saw this highlighted and was getting excited about a new schizocow, now I don't know if I should be disappointed or impressed.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Ralph is going to get disqualified when they find out he's a pig. Can't enter a pig in a horse race ya goof.

 

[Beluga]

Revenge pornographer Ronald P Corbin / Negz and his girlfriend Clara Frenk / DCMediaGirl could be a good addition. They're speed running their financial ruin, their reputation is in tatters and they're getting into big legal trouble. Thread is here for those interested!

 

[Bixby Snyder]

KingCobraJFS may not be a purebred but he could compete against Cyraxx in a donkey race!

 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

No child, it is simply impossible for me to lose this race.
Now brace yourselves, I'll win this like I won the Marathon.

 

[Zeke Can't Sleep]

reading the OP in a 1920's race caller voice is recommended for best experience.