Corrupt-a-Wish

[autisticdragonkin]

@Null makes you a page on lolcow.wiki
I wish I could make my own country in the pacific ocean

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but you trigger ADF for stealing his ideal and now harasses you every day.

I wish my boxers weren't so damn tight.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Granted but you trigger ADF for stealing his ideal and now harasses you every day.

I wish my boxers weren't so damn tight.

Granted, but that's because your genitals drop off.
I wish it was snowing.

 

[Abethedemon]

It's snowing. Only one inch.
I wish I could write longer works.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but they're so long other writers get Dickens envy and you're hated by your peers.

I wish I had taco flavored kisses.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but you can only attract unwashed meth addicts and eccentric taco Tuesday lovers.

I wish my hair would pick up blue hair dye pigments.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but the hair stylist hears Pink Mints and puts mentos in your hair.

I wish I was a strong independant black woman named Naeshquataytay.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but no one will ever bother to pronounce your name correctly, and you will earn laughs from the south should you fall to a hate crime.

I wish I could stop speaking like a novel and confusing people.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted you start speaking like most of middle schoolers in America.

I wish @Madame Monochromatia would call me Superman if I go crazy.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but you will actually become superman and your kryptonite is getting laid. (Spoiler alert, you never have to worry about that.)

I wish I could see past three inches in front of my face without my glasses.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but those three inches are always flacid peens.

I wish I had a zombie army.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but of course the very much expected occurs and you are eaten by your own army.

I wish the holiday season wouldn't make me fat.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted except your fat all but the month of December.

I wish @Madame Monochromatia was a boyfriend free girl.

 

[Motherboard]

Granted, but my ex guts you in an alley on New Year's.

I wish I was strong enough to move my goddamn flatscreen TV.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Your strength does up to 20 but all other stats drop to 0

 

[Wildchild]

Granted, but you're too strong and you break it.

I wish I had a friend.

 

[GolgoXIII]

I wish @autisticdragonkin had a wish to corrupt.

 

[AN/ALR56]

Wish I could cure @autisticdragonkin and make him into a sane normal person.
I also wish I could live in America and date someone.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I wish @autisticdragonkin had a wish to corrupt.

@autisticdragonkin creates a wish that is gogol characters long. After several millenia of reading it you manage to corrupt it

Wish I could cure @autisticdragonkin and make him into a sane normal person.
I also wish I could live in America and date someone.

You realize that happier abroad people are right and american women are ugly and entitled
I wish I could write a massive wish that is gogol characters long

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted but your spelling is terrible and nobody understands it.

I wish sweet dreams were made of this.