Business Crypto Investors Concerned Global Nuclear War May Negatively Affect Market - Nuclear Apocalypse Not Good For Cryptocurrency?

A growing number of retail cryptocurrency investors are expressing concern online that the potential upcoming global nuclear war may negatively affect the market.

Technical analysts predict that once the first nuke is launched, Bitcoin is likely to drop and re-test the $30,000 support level.

One particularly cautious Twitter user claims to have created a trading bot that automatically market sells 50% of his portfolio if the temperature outside his apartment exceeds 180,000,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

Others are less phased and have suggested Putin is only threatening nuclear war to FUD the crypto market and scoop up cheap Bitcoin.

One user became the target of online harassment after he suggested that the Ukraine conflict has nothing to do with Bitcoin and that we'll have bigger things to worry about if World War III star

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[Gas Station Boner Pills]

The title sounds like an Onion article.

 

[Livecorpse]

If this is satire, it's the laziest satire I've ever seen.

 

[mario if smoke weed]

When it comes to Shitcoin, Stupid is as stupid does

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I don't know whether to hope for this article to be real or satire.

 

[Margo Martindale]

Well no shit Sherlock.

 

[HumanHive]

This is pure FUD. Crypto is going #TOTHEMOON when Wall Street gets nuked. Our coins are safe on Cryptoland.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

This is pure FUD. Crypto is going #TOTHEMOON when Wall Street gets nuked. Our coins are safe on Cryptoland.

The blast will send the servers into orbit.

 

[Chaos Theorist]

There will no no Nuclear War. Russia will steamroll Ukraine and Biden will accept it like the nonce cuckold he is.

 

[Some JERK]

A growing number of retail cryptocurrency investors are expressing concern online that the potential upcoming global nuclear war may negatively affect the market.

Really? You think global thermonuclear war might affect the market? Vast swaths of the only remaining superpower and a few of the previous ones irradiated might cause a few blips in the global economy? Huh. I learn something new every day.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Really? You think global thermonuclear war might affect the market? Vast swaths of the only remaining superpower and a few of the previous ones irradiated might cause a few blips in the global economy? Huh. I learn something new every day.

You don't understand! It's like, not tied to any government, like, that protects it from influences, right? So nuclear war? That means it's the most stable currency, right? Because it's not part of any of the countries being turned to slag, right?

Though you're screwed if your wallet happens to get slagged when a data center is roasted in the fallout. Feels bad, man.

 

[HumanHive]

The blast will send the servers into orbit.

Exactly! Daddy Musk wins again.

 

[TowinKarz]

You don't understand! It's like, not tied to any government, like, that protects it from influences, right? So nuclear war? That means it's the most stable currency, right? Because it's not part of any of the countries being turned to slag, right?

Though you're screwed if your wallet happens to get slagged when a data center is roasted in the fallout. Feels bad, man.

"Waddaya mean I can't have a can of beans unless I have something to barter with? I already told you, I have a whole USB full of BITCOIN here! Just get me a place to plug it in!"

"Waddya mean "no more warning shots?" don't you want REAL money?"

 

[HumanHive]

"Waddaya mean I can't have a can of beans unless I have something to barter with? I already told you, I have a whole USB full of BITCOIN here! Just get me a place to plug it in!"

"Waddya mean "no more warning shots?" don't you want REAL money?"

More FUD. Every bartertown in Lost Vegas takes crypto.

 

[thx1138]

Domp eet.

Domp eet hagain.

 

[Mr Processor]

I noticed the site the article was on is down, so I archived the Wayback machine version for posterity: https://archive.ph/wip/k0ftX