🗑️ Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

[AnOminous]

May and Faith gave him children, which are only important to him because in online discussion having a family is important.

And he doesn't understand that knocking up some retard and then running away like a coward isn't "having a family." It's just being a worthless wigger dumping unwanted spawn into an unwelcoming world. It's exactly what his own dad did to him.

I think analogies to Chris, are more just ''look, there is this fucking retard on the internet immolating his life and its a trashfire to laugh at'' rather than a serious attempt to say Ralph is the literal neurological successor to Chris

There are some major differences though. Chris was never going to turn out okay and he didn't really have a choice about that. His win condition for life would be if at his current age, he was sorting glass and not being a sex pest. That would really be the pinnacle of success for someone with his abilities.

Even after his first jail stint, Ralph had somewhat cleaned up, was having reasonable success, and the whole IBS thing was pretty big, even if it was really gay and retarded. Chris started at the bottom and stayed there. Ralph at least had potential. Somewhat like Chris there was a cap on that, because he was always going to be an Internet asshole, but there's usually a market for that if you play it right.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

And he doesn't understand that knocking up some retard and then running away like a coward isn't "having a family." It's just being a worthless wigger dumping unwanted spawn into an unwelcoming world. It's exactly what his own dad did to him.

The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

Why are narcissists always people like the Gunt. I imagine if you're an absolutely gorgeous female, some Adonis but also with a genius IQ, or just in general some admirable human being that you might feel inclined to kiss the mirror a bit. But I suppose if you're that you have better things to do.

Narcissists are always people like this Gunt, a morbidly obese retarded midget with absolutely no redeeming qualities. If I were someone like this I would smash all the mirrors in the house. Meanwhile he thinks he's hot shit while being a miserable little monkey-looking muppet of a man with a face like a can of smashed assholes, even worse than it was before Lisbon.

I think in a lot of cases it's kind of a defense mechanism for their extreme insecurities.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

oof

 

[TherapyMan]

Why are narcissists always people like the Gunt.

One word: COPE.

It is legitimately a defense mechanism to avoid contemplating—

I think in a lot of cases it's kind of a defense mechanism for their extreme insecurities.

That.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

And he doesn't understand that knocking up some retard and then running away like a coward isn't "having a family." It's just being a worthless wigger dumping unwanted spawn into an unwelcoming world. It's exactly what his own dad did to him.

At least Ronnie bothered to have legitimate children and stick around for a little while before going out for a pack of cigarettes. So far Ronnie has kicked Ethan’s ass in the fatherhood dept.

Ralph has one bastard son who will never have his name, he has never seen nor contributed a minute of time or a dime towards. He will have a bastard daughter in April that he will probably never see after she’s six months old. At least Ethan has some memories of Ronnie, Gunt’s kids won’t even have that, but that’s really for the best. He will just be a distant stain that the kids occasionally hear mentioned with disgust but never have to know first hand.

 

[AnOminous]

Like, face it, if you're in this because you want to see the day Ralph implodes and succumbs to misery and is crying on a Twitter live that he's ruined, that will literally never happen.

This latest incident has basically proven that you can literally beat him to an unrecognizable pulp of a Cabbage Patch doll level retard-faced ghoul and he won't realize he lost. He will even post pictures of himself looking like Jess Willard after Jack Dempsey was done with him in a match where the crowd was booing and begging the boxing judges to end it for the love of God already.

 

[Angel Dust]

This thread should be changed to just "Ethan Ralph vrs the World" to make it easier. That about sums it up.

 

[AnOminous]

The Ralph saga won't end in some spectacular festival, it'll end suddenly and unexpectedly. I have my money on another car crash sometime this year. The sentiment here will be surprise and shock more than anything else.

I just hope the worthless pig doesn't take out any actual humans with him.

The fact he's managing to make DSP look successful and intelligent by comparison is fucking amazing.

DSP has only done one massively illegal thing that we know of (bankruptcy fraud) and got away completely scot-free. Ralph lives a life of constant penalties because he is too pig stupid to get away with his dumbassery.

I seem to remember someone suggesting Ralph had a big penis in a superchat to Fuentes around the time of the sex tape and he laughed and said that is clearly not the case, but I doubt Ralph saw that as I've never seen anybody mention it before anywhere.

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts Fuentes is a size queen.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

lol i just realized he blames jim for him not getting vaxed or masked to see his dying mom, i gotta say making ralph listen to his mom die unable to see or talk to her as she expires is a pretty epic troll on jims part i wish id have though of it.

Jim and Dick had a debate at the very beginning of the outbreak. Dick was against lockdowns Jim was for them but it seemed more like it was for entertainment rather than Jim actually wanting lock downs.

Like Jim was taking the Con side and playing Devil’s Advocate but didn’t seem to really be in favor of it. I get that.

Thanks for everyone who helped me out with that!

 

[AnOminous]

"You can't even shoot yourself in the head because you're a felon. You can't even buy a gun to shoot yourself with because you're a felon. You're fucked." -Null the most based janny.

He could buy a stolen one from some hood rat. Of course, he might be afraid of those because the last time he tried to do biz with them they pushed his shit in super hard.

I think the idea that jail would somehow have a profound effect on Ralph to change his ways is laughable, considering he got out after his bid and immediately went back to being a drunken, short tempered fool.

Slight disagreement, he took almost a year to go back to absolute self-destruction. He's always been a drunken, combative asshole, but when he was somewhat self-aware that this was kayfabe, he could keep it in control. But then you had the gunt picture, the corn joke, and it's been an uncontrolled spiral ever since.

 

[NynchLiggers]

My Top 3 bets for how the Ralphamale meets his Maker('s Mark):

• Suicide by cop (unintentional only)
• Stabbed in his sleep by random BPD stray he picked up off the street/internet
• Head blown off by father of previously mentioned BPD stray after he knocks her up and kicks her to the curb.

You forgot the "Accidental overdose" and "Car accident"

 

[AnOminous]

probably my favorite episode of any IBS show was the Jim vs. Ross show where Ross is obviously loaded up on drugs and keeps his cool while metokur loses his cool and starts yelling at him to no effect.

I'd say this is probably because Jim usually has such a calm, sardonic and detached demeanor that him actually flipping shit is hilarious. It's like seeing Gandhi go ham.

Not true. He definitely did defend lockdowns. I remember him specifically doing it in the debate against Dick Masterson on the Killstream.

He was massively doomposting about the coof well before the fake news got onto the Wu-Flu train.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

And he doesn't understand that knocking up some retard and then running away like a coward isn't "having a family." It's just being a worthless wigger dumping unwanted spawn into an unwelcoming world. It's exactly what his own dad did to him.

There are some major differences though. Chris was never going to turn out okay and he didn't really have a choice about that. His win condition for life would be if at his current age, he was sorting glass and not being a sex pest. That would really be the pinnacle of success for someone with his abilities.

Even after his first jail stint, Ralph had somewhat cleaned up, was having reasonable success, and the whole IBS thing was pretty big, even if it was really gay and retarded. Chris started at the bottom and stayed there. Ralph at least had potential. Somewhat like Chris there was a cap on that, because he was always going to be an Internet asshole, but there's usually a market for that if you play it right.

wtf are you talking about Chris could have sold Sonichu to Nintendo if he hadn't left Murimoto hanging.

 

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

My Top 3 bets for how the Ralphamale meets his Maker('s Mark):

• Suicide by cop (unintentional only)
• Stabbed in his sleep by random BPD stray he picked up off the street/internet
• Head blown off by father of previously mentioned BPD stray after he knocks her up and kicks her to the curb.

My bet? Heart attack due to high cholesterol.

 

[Johnny Clyde Cash]

I can't help but keep thinking of the seven year dream from the Bible when the Pharaoh is consulting with Joseph. I tweaked it a bit to make it a bit more relevant but tell me this doesn't sound like what's going on:

Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “In my dream I saw seven heads of corn, full and good, growing on a single stalk. After them, seven other heads sprouted—withered and thin and scorched by the east wind. The thin heads of corn swallowed up the seven good heads. I told this to the magicians, but none of them could explain it to me.”

Then Joseph said to Pharaoh, “God has revealed to Pharaoh what he is about to do. The seven good heads of corn are seven years, and so are the seven worthless heads of corn scorched by the east wind: They are seven years of famine. Seven years of great abundance are coming throughout the land of Egypt, but seven years of famine will follow them. Then all the abundance in Egypt will be forgotten, and the famine will ravage the land."

 

[NynchLiggers]

DSP has only done one massively illegal thing that we know of (bankruptcy fraud) and got away completely scot-free. Ralph lives a life of constant penalties because he is too pig stupid to get away with his dumbassery.

DSP is a comparison that makes more sense than CWC to be honest, since both of them have out of control addictions that are causing notable health and financial declines plus similar psychology, but DSP is a shut in afraid of the outside world while Gunt is reckless, almost suicidal.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

He could buy a stolen one from some hood rat. Of course, he might be afraid of those because the last time he tried to do biz with them they pushed his shit in super hard.

Ralph could theoretically get a 80% lower and build one out from there. Or just make a slam fire shotgun. Or get a 3D printer. But that requires effort and forward planning. A Ralph suicide would be more like passing out in his truck in a garage somewhere with old killstream hits playing, makers mark and pill bottles all around him, or ODs somewhere. A death of Ethan Ralph by himself would be accidental instead of intentional. He doesn’t understand failure like a normal person and therefore could never truly experience enough loss in his life or clarify to end it all.

 

[AnOminous]

Jail's usually good for getting someone off drugs/alcohol and losing weight but to come out a person changed for the better, you have to have a certain mental and emotional fortitude that Ralph doesn't have.

Usually but there are jails where scoring is as easy as it is outside and even the guards are in on it. I do think Ralph actually did get sober behind bars though, and at least learned he didn't want to go back there, although the whole "obey the law" thing didn't sink in.

Ralph could theoretically get a 80% lower and build one out from there. Or just make a slam fire shotgun. Or get a 3D printer.

Soft hanging is pretty reliable and you don't even need a height for it. You can do it from a doorknob, like David Carradine did (accidentally while jerking it).

 

[Radical Cadre]

I go back and listen to it periodically; my favorite part is when Dame finally breaks Null and he laughs himself into a migraine.

Being Dame Pilled makes you wish you did it sooner.