Sonichu 1/27/18 - Sonichu-12-9, pages 13-22 - Split Hotdogs.

[Optimus Prime]

Horses that eat meat. God damn. Horses are already huge assholes; just imagine if they also ate people.

Contrary to popular belief, real life horses are actually omnivores, they just prefer to eat greens...but if they are forced to or pretty much just give no shit about it, they will eat small animals.

A friend told me once about a time he witnessed a horse eat a vole. Said the crunching sound was truly something to behold.

I stopped reading Sonichu for a while and then I come back today and PONIES.

What—?

Welcome to the past several months since Bronycon. Chris is all about the pony these days. He has like, two self-inserts related to MLP now and even made horrifying pony versions of his parents.

Literally cannot be arsed to pick up a hotdog to eat it--his laziness knows no bounds. Chris is cracking me up with this psychic powers shit.

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In fairness to Chris, unicorns sometimes use telekinesis to hold food in the show as well.

 

[Slowinthemind]

Even in the perfect make believe land creatures are poor as shit, if all I can afford in heaven is half a fucking hot dog then please send me to hell.

 

[CrazyRandomZyn]

With Split Hot Dogs I imagined a Sonichu castrated lengthwise...instead, just a tame, badly drawn (admittedly cute) comic with Nightstar and a Hyper Dimension Tulpa.

 

[Slowinthemind]

TESCO?!!!! Tesco who got busted for selling horsemeat as beef? Oh, man, THATS genius!
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-21418342

That story is 5 years old! Which makes it the most recent shit that idea guy has fed to Chris.

 

[asperhes]

Chris should just have a key on his keyboard that types out "My sincere apologies for the delay," since this is how he begins nearly every announcement.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

So there are 8 more pages that haven't been posted, which are behind the Patreon paywall. If one of his patrons could grab those, that'd be good. The site I usually use to view his pages for free seems to be having trouble accessing them this time.

 

[Canned Bread]

Dammit Chris why would you play Guitar Hero when Rock Band is superior to Guitar Hero in basically every way?

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Someone PM'd me with the rest of the pages.

Spoiler: Pg. 13-21

 

[Lucricitous]

 

[cohensd]

Even though this is unreadable dribble, I'm kind of glad to have Chris back at somewhat of a baseline without Idea Guy.

 

[CrazyRandomZyn]

Wtfh? Is Pinkie Pie high?!

 

[also autistic]

Holy shit I think Chris pony art is my favorite, it makes me laugh every time

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

The PokeBall thing is something I could see the canon Pinkie Pie doing, if the show got that retârded. So props to Chris for writing one of the most in character things he has ever written.

I'm surprised that he hasn't written out Diamond Melody since Quinn-troll dumped him. Guess he's holding on to that tiny hope!

 

[MY 405]

He can’t even deal with confrontation that he manufactures in his own book.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I'm surprised that he hasn't written out Diamond Melody since Quinn-troll dumped him. Guess he's holding on to that tiny hope!

Does Chris remember Quinn? I think Chris's memory is just things that happen in cartoons mixed with wish fulfillment. She wasn't a troll. She's a pony-form-theoretical-ground-up-ex.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Even in the perfect make believe land creatures are poor as shit, if all I can afford in heaven is half a fucking hot dog then please send me to hell.

Leave it to Chris to believe that everypony wants to share his not-so fun-sized hotdog.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

Some pony shit DJ opening for Slayer. Chris clearly has no idea who Slayer is.

 

[Professional_Sneak]

Pink skin;
Pink hair;
Pink skirt;
Pink background;
COLOURIFFIC WHEEEL.

 

[Pony Horn]

He did this unironicly.

Welcome back, Chris.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

He did this unironicly.

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Welcome back, Chris.

Pale-faced goblin and doughy face? This is the closest that Chris has ever come to depicting himself accurately in any of his drawings.

Pink skin;
Pink hair;
Pink skirt;
Pink background;
COLOURIFFIC WHEEEL.

I really wish Chris would say tee-hee in real life as much as he flips that dying carpet of moss he calls hair. That tee-hee would have really been perfect for when Spinalpalm lifted him to the heavens.