It's 2005 and you stumble upon this website called kiwi farms, what do?

"I don't understand this. I'm gonna go woodcut on Runescape now"

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

neger psykolog dijo:

Wow you're just going to forget about or ignore a website making fun of transtrenders or furry faggots?

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You could still make fag jokes in major Hollywood movies in 2005. Everybody everywhere was making fun of trannies and furries.

Ibanez RG 350EX dijo:

You could still make fag jokes in major Hollywood movies in 2005. Everybody everywhere was making fun of trannies and furries.

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We used to be a country!

I'd be sweating my balls off trying to write a sentence in proper English.

I would have used this site instead of MySpace.

Maybe it would have saved me from getting banned from GameFAQs so many times for calling other users "retarded niggers".

"...What's a tranny?"

I would have been way too young to use it, and wouldn't understand how to create an account since I was a little kid.

tom123 dijo:

there was a similar site to kiwifarms, in the 2000 Portal of Evil

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Yeah, PoE and, for a little while and to a lesser degree, SA. (SA was less focused on specific lolcows, and more on shitposting; PoE was dedicated almost exclusively to shitting on lolcows and weird websites run by trannies and furries, with the shitposting being limited primarily to random Livejournal Image finds)

Both got overrun by faggots and troons, sadly.

I think most people wish this website had existed twenty years ago or more.

Call OP a niggerfaggot.

N

Would've just spazzed out like the dumbass teenager I was and not like how often "fuck" and "nigger" was dropped on the regular. Probably would've gotten the ban hammer or a thread. Would've deep down appreciated the knowledge on the furry menace and knowing I wasn't the only one critical of the gay community, though.

Realistically, I don't think I would've stuck around back then, but could've snuck a peek back in years later after maturing more and going "Oh hey, there was this weird website I once saw, wonder what's up with that now."

I'd laugh at all the no no words because I was a kid in 2005. My dad would give me a stern lecture about that kind of language once he saw what site I was on and threaten to ground me from my video games if I go there again.

I would have spent exactly 20 more minutes staring at my laptop until I reached "the end of the internet for the day."
Remember when you could actually finish reading the internet back then?

So, for anyone who is genuinely curious / autistic about pre-Kiwifarms lifestyles, here is how we lived back in the Before Times of 2005 AD:

https://web.archive.org/web/20050403101551/http://www.portalofevil.com/index.html

The forums are here, which operated much like Kiwifarms only there were fewer regulars and fewer cows. The most popular lolcow page, Kokoro Wish (forum and site) was an early tranny webcomic that's fairly tame by modern standards (entitled, gay computer programmer who refuses to work, abuses his husband and whines about how everything wrong with his life is somebody else's fault) but at the time psycho trannies were new and novel. Note: people tended to be trans-indifferent and hated the troon author for reasons other than him being a troon. Which in hindsight, was a huge mistake.

The other big thread, Livejournal Random Images Generator, was a shitpost thread dedicated to scraping random images from an ancient blogging site called Livejournal (like Tumblr but older and more literate). Depending on the day, it was mostly either porn, Russian memes, Nazi stuff, or Russian Nazi porn.

The real meat of the site was the archives, which consist of a bunch of links to various websites, broken down by category. Some of those sites are probably still viewable on the Wayback Machine, so feel free to poke around.

Interesting note: PoE was a joint venture, and one of the site owners, Chet Faliszek, was an OG Valve employee who worked on a lot of Valve's early titles, including Half-Life 2, Left 4 Dead, and Portal. One of the Kiwifarms Featured Cows last month, Matt Moulton (the fat dork who got arrested in Florida for threatening a sheriff via social media), was also a regular on PoE, but for the life of me I can't remember what his forum thread was called.

The Internet wasn't the absolute cesspool of literal toxic and biological waste it is today in 2005. The farms wouldn't have stood out at all considering the rainbow cult didn't exist in the same manner as it does today and troons were still considered gross, weird and safe to make fun of back then. Speech wasn't policed and censored on the Internet yet and Tumblr hadn't poisoned the well along with giant corporations. On top of that, the Internet was way smaller and not everyone and their dog had access to it. Shame also still worked.

It was as it should be.

I'd probably sign up and pretend I was over the age of 18 like I did for most shit back in the early 2000s.

The same thing I did when I discovered Encyclopedia Dramatica in 2007: fap