🦊 Furry Liebermintz / @Lieberm1ntz / Malkmusian / Malkmusianful / Monaural / ServiceMerch / Phillynott / Shane Christopher Smith - Autistic furry musician obsessed with Steven Universe and Kiwi Farms, Has a history in the CWCki and YouChew communities

Liebermintz dijo:

<img src="http://youchew.net/images/2010/03/scoutava.jpg" />

Okay, so I hear the <strong>Art Staff</strong> is back in town. I don't know where to begin with these guys. Now, if there's one thing I hate doing, it standing around idlin' like a special ed kid with a dent in his skull. It's just embarrassing. They have their own staff and they can't even put up a new forum banner once every six months.

These Art Staff dolts are idle for over a year, sitting around with a private forum section playing with their dicks -- all the while sportin' colored names like they think they're mods or something. Then...THEN they have the noive to say they're gettin' their act together. And STILL they only release art once in blue moon!

I mean, look at this, LOOK... AT... THIS!

<a href="http://www.youchewpoop.com/artstaffupdate/day1of5.html"><strong>CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE ART STAFF UPDATE.</strong></a>

Did you really wait around for that?

Seriously! They think they can just walk on back, all high and mighty, and expect to be treated with any respect. If they were from where I was from they'd have to earn their respect -- by gettin' beaten with baseball bats and bricks by the rest of the gang for a straight hour. I'd like to see them paint their pretty pictures after THAT.

They are nothin' but a bunch of dime a dozen, good for nothin'...

Huh?...What's that, ma?...

...Day 1!?
...Day 1 of what!?

You mean they have more in store for the site?!!?

Yeah, well, we'll see what they got on <strong>March 25</strong>. I bet they're all talk.

Click here to view the _RLS_

(2 minutes later)
<img src="http://youchew.net/images/2010/03/scout.jpg" />

Okay, so it looks like those Art Staff buffoons have kept their word -- so far. Another day in the update says they're gonna be redoin' the looks of the News Page. So I guess they don't just do lame-ass medals and pictures for socially awkward children to use on internet forums because they're too shy to show their real faces. Now they can open Notepad and modify a couple lines of HTML <em>and</em> make pretty pictures like in kindergarten art class. Ooooohh! Sooooo impressive!

Yeah, just look at their fancy pants update page:

<a href="http://www.youchewpoop.com/artstaffupdate/day2of5.html"><strong>CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE NEW UPDATE PAGE!</strong></a>

I bet they fingerpainted the new skin for the Front Page then licked their hands clean.

But that "Day 2" thing is still up there in the corner there with the little arrows, so I guess maybe's there's more to it than just this dumbass art contest circle jerk and a fresh face for RabbitWhore's personal blog.... Maybe they can actually do something good. Maybe.

But my hopes ain't high.

Click here to view the _RLS_

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Liebermintz dijo:

Allow Me to Introduce Myself, I'm a Man of Wealth and Taste​

Welcome to my domain on the blog-o-sphere. While I currently maintain a Tumblr for occasional purposes (http://malkitymalk.tumblr.com), this will be a general blog for musings and writings that do not mesh with the re-established aesthetic of the Writing Staff. In here, rather than conforming to a general view of what people see, I will speak my mind to how I see fit. If I see injustice on the Internet or anything that pisses me off, then I will make note of it. If I see people on OK Cupid or Encyclopedia Dramatica weirdos that act unintentionally funny, I will showcase that.

This is not because I'm fucked in the head. This is not because I'm some guy who hates authority. This is not because of some well-cloaked past that makes me engage in schadenfreude. This is because I want to be me, not what other people want me to be. This is a manifesto for those who attempt to climb into this place.

If you want general writings from me, check out my articles for the Writing Staff. Get past all the banned-member mentions and the clumsy bullshit and you'll find some stuff that'll work. As for this, I will do my best to adhere to the guidelines and still speak my mind.

Note: I'm not going to spam the same blog post a million times, nor am I going to post a racist joke because I want to be edgy. This is my domain to post whatever I see humorous, but this is my mind. And my mind isn't try-hard, goddamn it.

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Liebermintz dijo:

Amy's Baking Company: The Episode That Knows It's an Episode​

I do not, under any circumstances, consider myself well-qualified to be a restaurant critic. Out of all the places that I have been to, most of them tend to be acceptable. Well-aware that I am obviously not Gordon Ramsey, I'm sure these places aren't the best in the world. For example, this seafood place in downtown Covington could've been much better - they had a very bland presentation for a home-cooking place and their shrimp were obviously injected with steroids to the point where you could see the veins. On the contrary, this shuttered seafood place in Dahlonega had the best po' boy I have eaten, along with a decent fried Twinkie and a nice approach to seafood. I think they're alright. Of course nothing's like Fuddruckers. I mean, if Ash's father can walk out of her Mass Effect 3 therapy session to get himself one-pound hamburgers, then I can too.

But Amy's Baking Company (ABC) Bistro in Scottsdale, Arizona is just....I mean, I don't know what to....is this even possible? Can anybody fuck up hospitality this bad? Of course there was the kid who pissed on his family's meal in Troll 2, but that's a movie. We're talking about real life here. Amy's Baking Company - it's something, alright. After witnessing their massive explosion on Facebook (and about most of my friends liking their page), I can safely say that regardless of how trollish Phil Fish is, at least he's not Amy and Samy. At least Phil has class and consistency. At least people like Fez. How can you like a pizza that's undercooked and raviolis that are far from fresh? How can you think that Gordon Ramsey, a man known for not taking shit from restauranteurs, will come into your restaurant and invalidate every negative Yelp review you got? Of course there are negative reviews - people always get them. Nobody is perfect. If you stopped considering yourself God's gift to the Scottsdale cuisine and maybe simplified your menu to cakes and coffee, then maybe people wouldn't criticize you all the time. But this - and especially your massive blow-up on Facebook this weekend - why do you do this? Why?

Okay, so this place became the hottest thing on the Internet a couple of weekends ago. The storm's died down - mostly as people have learned to not feed the narcissistic business with media attention - and other than a few qualms (Samy's in deportation battles; Amy and Samy are trying to get a reality show deal; Redditors went to the grand opening and confirmed Amy's controlling behavior despite acceptable food), it seems like the restaurant's just going through business as usual. However, I can't help but notice that the episode of Gordon Ramsey Screams At Restauranteurs: The American Editi-I mean, Kitchen Nightmares does play off similarly to the crazier aspects of a few meta-games I've played recently. Yeah, so much of that episode was obviously staged (props appear in and out; Amy's insults are obviously fine-tuned; camera angles up the ass; passionate British guy overreacts for American audiences), but since so much of Amy and Samy's behavior has been confirmed by Redditors, Yelp users, and even the waitress that was fired in the episode, one can't help but to notice that Gordon might've wanted to make a meta-episode: one that takes tropes from the British Kitchen Nightmares (earnestness; focus on the poor food quality; the drama comes from the food), the American edition (all the cliched music, the preplanned camera angles, the staged feeling), and mixes it together in an episode that knows it's obviously an episode.

There are two maps, each corresponding to Kitchen Nightmares variations, that are codified based on their tropes: the British map with its passion and its ability to show how much owning a business can tear a person apart; and the American map with its desire to reform every restaurant and turn them into Gordon Ramsey's personal testing grounds. Amy's Baking Company strays from those maps - while Amy does not have passion to change the restaurant, Gordon does. Gordon wants the restaurant to change. He, in a way, is the unwilling subject who's forced through this. He thinks this will be standard episode fodder - just go to the restaurant, try their most-likely-horrid food, observe their work ethic, and work on them with fixing the place through reforms, redecoration, and what-have-you. However, in prior episodes, both on the British and American maps, Gordon always visits restaurants that are far from clean. There's always something wrong in the kitchen, be it a chef without passion for his establishment or rats crawling all over the unpreserved raw meat or coleslaw so rancid that it makes Gordon vomit all over the streets of Atlanta. In Amy's Baking Company, kitchen protocol is observed correctly. Amy knows how to cook - she's just so overswamped due to her inability to trust employees with basic food service that she undercooks the food and forgets to fine-tune simple things like prog-rock burgers and over-sweet prosciutto pizza. The kitchen is clean as a whistle. The restaurant doesn't have tacky decor - Amy knows her way around interior design. The desserts, regardless of their origin (they're pre-made), are delicious and high-quality.

A majority of the episode focuses on Gordon's first working day at the restaurant, from when he tries their subpar food to when he orders Amy and Samy to reconvene the following morning. Other episodes of Kitchen Nightmares would focus mainly on the rehabilitation and relegate Gordon's first working day to a ten-minute slot. The episode only focuses on what Gordon notices - it lets you know that something's not right about the place. For about 20 minutes, the episode focuses on Gordon observing Amy getting swamped with work and realizing that she cannot, under any circumstance, take criticism. He observes the waitstaff getting swamped with orders as Samy rushes through them and skips over basic appetizers - and Amy eventually firing an employee because she took the simple phrase "are you sure?" as criticism. He observes a restaurant getting fed up with subpar service and subpar food because of the lack of employment at the restaurant. He observes Amy's reluctance at hiring a secondary chef who can assist her with lower-priority orders. Everything on the first day is scrutinized, from Samy's somewhat-illegal-but-somewhat-not hoarding of tips that should go to the waitstaff (depends on how much the waitstaff is paid on an hourly basis) to Amy's technique to what exactly is in the freezer. And the next day is just him arguing with the owners - both of them talking about how they want to go on with the episode. Gordon notes that an average episode of Kitchen Nightmares is enervating and should not be treated lightly, but Amy only views it lightly. With that, Gordon leaves the show, the camera crew pack up, and the audience finally notice that he drives around America in an SUV.

There's no way Gordon, if he set out on making a regular episode of American-map Kitchen Nightmares, would've used the footage he and his crew filmed at the restaurant. This is the basic formula for a failed episode - and I'm sure there are plenty in the FOX and BBC vaults where Gordon has to leave the place. But why organize the footage from Amy's Baking Company into an episode? Why present a massive failure of Gordon's on international television? Why present it like the episode knows that it's an episode of a show? And why edit it like a reality TV show? Why has it gotten so much press? Restaurants featured on the show don't get that much press - and yet Amy's Baking Company is continually spilling news nugget after nugget. Why? I personally believe that Gordon wanted to make a meta-episode of his series that shows that he is human - that he can get too sure of himself and make terrible judgments as far as restaurant reform is concerned. I also believe that he wanted to make an episode that was self-aware of its own manipulation. Basically, it's as if Gordon recently discovered metafictional works and decided to edit a scrapped episode like that.

From Amy and Samy's reactions to the episode (and about everybody else's), they thought that Gordon wasn't going to air a massive failure on television. To them, it was just a tough three days. However, Gordon needed to get out a message: that Kitchen Nightmares isn't just a show. It's not something he does to get himself known. "It's a job," he states at the near end of the episode. It becomes obvious that despite how obvious Kitchen Nightmares is staged, it's still a job for those involved. Reality TV is tough work. Remember the trials and tribulations that Terry Zwigoff went through just to make Crumb? He could've given up when he found out R. Crumb was a total misogynist who shamelessly objectifies women just because he can. He could've given up when he found out that Crumb was about as mentally unstable as his brothers. But no - he had done too much work to make this documentary. He even threatened to kill himself just to get Crumb's permission. He had to finish the job. To me, that's what Kitchen Nightmares is: Gordon doing a job. He could easily give up on a restaurant, but he won't. Unless if the owners are so resistant that he has no other choice, Gordon will never give up. All the alternate takes, the exaggerated reactions, the temporary Gordon-designed menu, the sometimes unnecessary cosmetic changes to the dining room, the manipulated drama - it's taxing on everybody. However, Amy and Samy refused to consider Kitchen Nightmares as a job. It was just a show to them. It was optional. They didn't have to do it. Amy could sit in obscurity, "beating up" Yelpers who dared give her critique on a restaurant. Gordon tried to inform her that reality TV was a tiring job, but she wouldn't listen.

This is why the episode exists.

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Liebermintz dijo:

and when the water rushes in, all are dead and nobody lives.​

8 years since Reunification.

Asriel still didn't know how it came to be.

He should've stayed a flower. He should've stayed without a bone to sympathize with. He should've stayed miserable. Such perfect punishment for somebody who knowingly tried to fuck around with the space-time continuum. Inside Mt. Ebott, slowly rotting away, fueled merely by determination, hopes, dreams, and bitterness. Instead, it was 2112 and he was finally moving into his dorm room at NYU. He chose it only because he couldn't get into Juilliard. Besides, Toriel wouldn't pay that much to let him spend the rest of his life waiting tables and playing in prog-rock cover bands. Not that he'd blend in with his purple dress shirt with rolled up sleeves, a purple T-shirt with a Van de Graff generator emitting electricity on it, jeans, and a pair of Chucks - he was more at home with the late Stephen Malkmus than the late Robert Fripp.

Despite what that Rush album predicted, no Syrinx-worshiping priests had taken over the solar system. Not much interstellar travel had been achieved save for Kepler-discovered planets. They jumped over the FTL hurdle with safe wormhole generators and black hole exploitation, but that only got people so far. Experimental colonies on Mars, Luna-Earth tourism, orbit-cycle casinos. Down on Earth, the cars all ran electric, but they all stayed the same. Tastes from 2012 had stayed the same for the most part. His friends were the same. VHS tapes could still play. Mew Mew Kissy Cutie hadn't had a sequel in 80 years. Was this for the real? Is this the life?

Couldn't take boxes on the R line. Had to drive all the way up the East Coast. Couldn't get Frisk to be his roommate - Frisk had found something with that monster kid with no arms. Monty - was that his name? Nobody really knew. Frisk didn't say much anyway - a person of few words. Powerful actions. Found the means to get a sufficient SOUL substitute. No, it wasn't MTT-Brand Human SOUL-Substitute - it couldn't get the Amalgamates split apart. Probably one of the six souls. He couldn't figure it out. One minute, he was ready to root back into the ground. The next, he woke up in the lab, somehow still able to love. Maybe it was Chara. If so, why didn't he dunk the Skelebros on first glance? Nah, couldn't be. Chara was too jaded by their former family to trust anybody save for "Goatbro."

His side of the room was either all packed up in boxes or somewhat put in its proper place. He had his laptop on - got some Spotify playing on his speakers. They finally mastered the Van der Graaf Generator albums correctly. And it only took the Loudness Wars escalating into a live conflict. Goatbro had a box unpacked - mostly clothes. All his T-shirts either with his family crest, a gaudy mix of yellow and green, or prog merch. His proudest was his Pink Floyd prism touring shirt. Frisk turned him onto them on one of their dates. He was first drawn to the rainbow, then to Syd. Then to Roger. All of them as horrible as he was. Trying to force space-time to go back to 2012.

On top of the shirts sat a scrapbook. "Our Memories." Asriel kicked off his shoes, sat with his back against the wall, and picked up the scrapbook. Faded hundred-year-old Polaroids - Asriel and Chara as happy as they could be. At first glance. He could sense there was something more. Another page. And another. The memories seem to just melt away. It all stopped for a bit. Maybe a recipe for Toriel's famous snail pie here and there. Couldn't make a happy memory scrapbook with your bleeding corpse ashing away.

And then a photo of a buttercup. Asriel dropped the scrapbook - felt sick. His heart beat. A trigger. Oh my god oh my gosh I'm not dead I'm not dead thank you mommy thank you daddy oh no oh god no where's my arms where's my legs oh god oh god what the hell's happening to me please let this be a sick nightmare i don't want to go to hell MOMMY DADDY HELP ME HELP ME THIS HURTS THIS HURTS SO BAD WHERE ARE MY ARMS WHERE ARE MY LEGS I CAN'T MOVE PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE SOMEBODY okay azzy think of happy thoughts think of them what did you feel i remember mother hugging me i remember dad playing catch i remember the happy times but i can't feel have they been so long ago what's going on where am i why can't i feel love why can't i feel happy where is my happiness i want out i want out I WANT OUT I WANT OUT I WANNA DIE PLEASE GOD JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY FUCKING KILL ME JUST KILL ME JUST

Thank God for the lax smoking rules at NYU. That pacing around made Asriel take out his vaporizer, his atomizer conveniently filled with Courtroom E-liquid, and take a puff. Calmed his nerves down - before the thing happened again. THERE'S GOTTA BE A WAY OUT JUMP OUT DAMMIT JUMP CAN I STRETCH CAN I MOVE CAN I UNROOT I WANT TO STARVE JUST PLEASE LET ME STARVE I CAN FINALLY STARVE I can finally starve i can finally be at peace

Lil Ugly Mane's Courtroom isn't doing it for me at all I need help I can't stop flashing back quick there might be a way Frisk I can call them they're on speed-dial i need to check up on them for mommy i could call her i could cry maybe it's the nerves getting to me i screwed myself over watching Inside Out goddamn it fuck me i know somebody cares why not Alphys oh god maybe she's in the middle of fucking Undyne doing sick hentai shit so best not to call her that monster kid can't call he has no arms and I can see him walking down the hall just smile make it look like you're doing fine Azzy you're doing okay BUT I'M NOT OKAY DAMMIT I DON'T WANT TO RESET THE TIMELINE PLEASE DON'T I DON'T WANT TO I DON'T WANT TO BE FLOWEY MOMMY DADDY MOMMY DADDY mommy daddy mommy daddy
A knock on the door. Asriel cried, curled up, trying to feel like he was in one of those heartwarming family hugs. KNOCK KNOCK.
"Don't come in," Asriel sobbed, "I'm okay, I promise."

"Only people who need help say that shit," the voice, neither male nor female, responded confidently - Asriel's ears perked up.

"Frisk, don't you have something better to do?" Asriel defensively asked, in between gargling sobs and his voice getting more and more lispy.

The door opened regardless. Fuck their determination, I should've stolen it eight years ago. Frisk stood in the door frame, their hair still as long as ever and still as non-binary as you could possibly get. They kneeled down to the floor, reached out their hand, and lightly tapped Asriel's nose with a soft "boop." Asriel's flashbacks all faded away - hey Frisk whatcha doin' oops you booped me that was fun i guess i wanna boop you boop your nose i'm gonna boop your nose oh you booped me again heh that was fun i love you i really do you're fun and you care

Goatbro straightened himself up and gave Frisk a big hug. He let out a soft cry with an honest smile.

"You're pretty good," Asriel said, his tears slowly drying up.

"How about I keep the scrapbook," Frisk offered, "Just for tonight?"

Asriel nodded through the hug. He let go, picked his vaporizer up, and took a drag. Frisk coughed, but they didn't mind. Their boyfriend went through a lot. They helped the boss monster-to-be up, walked them back to the dorm, and opened another box. Anime DVDs and prog vinyl. Maybe a drawing here and there. There was still some unpacking left to finish.

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Meat Pickle dijo:

You all need to work on your research more
Ver archivo adjunto 4027776
There is no "Malkmusian" registered in the cwcki.
Ver archivo adjunto 4027800
The "user page" was created by another unrelated user.

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Vott dijo:

I saw that too which indicates he was made fun of in the previous incarnations of CWCki boards, The VanKrause person who wrote it also has an account here @VanKrause, Commonly referred to as Krapple who did a lot of pages on the CWCki. Not sure about the extent of Shane's activity on the likes of 789chan that got him shit on by Krapple to make this page yet, I'm hoping to find archives on what Shane has said in those boards because you'd have to have a high form of autism to get a page like this on there written in 2009. Clydec who revised the page was also a major contributor to the CWCki.

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Meat Pickle dijo:

You all need to work on your research more
Ver archivo adjunto 4027776
There is no "Malkmusian" registered in the cwcki.
Ver archivo adjunto 4027800
The "user page" was created by another unrelated user.

Presiona para expandir...

NoonmanR dijo:

>I was big important chris chan troll! i
<buh den i GREW UP
God i hate the concept of that, you don't need to do a 180 on all your opinions just because you got older, that in and of itself is a very childish concept. You can also see it in the fact that he's bragging about sending a fucking e-letter to the CWCipedia mailbag, as if that was a privilege restricted to only the members of the PVCC. Also i don't remember nyberg being a part of the chris-chan saga, like, at all. Maybe >she was, but from what i remember >her and Zoey were more creatures from SA's Helldump.

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NoonmanR dijo:

Also i don't remember nyberg being a part of the chris-chan saga, like, at all.

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Trombonista dijo:

She wasn't.

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NoonmanR dijo:

>I was big important chris chan troll! i
<buh den i GREW UP
God i hate the concept of that, you don't need to do a 180 on all your opinions just because you got older, that in and of itself is a very childish concept. You can also see it in the fact that he's bragging about sending a fucking e-letter to the CWCipedia mailbag, as if that was a privilege restricted to only the members of the PVCC. Also i don't remember nyberg being a part of the chris-chan saga, like, at all. Maybe >she was, but from what i remember >her and Zoey were more creatures from SA's Helldump.

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Dr.Troonenstein dijo:

“Obsessed with Kiwi Farms”

So is this guy gonna be the next Keffals? Can we expect him to launch a fruitless crusade to get KF erased from the internet for the good of all degenerates transfolks?

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Tommy_Egan dijo:

What was this dudes name on 789chan? Not to toot my own horn, but my previous alias had some pull in the lulcow circles back in the day. I don't remember this dude at all. It's sad to see how the chronically online get afflicted with mental disorders.

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Neurotypical Mantis dijo:

holy shit its the guy from yiik

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