I always love reading bad scripts like this, because it's always an adventure in patience and understanding. "Hey, d'ya like
jazz post modernist deconstruction?" No, asshole, I do not. In fact, fuck you!
Yes, let's turn these beloved childhood icons into cynical degenerates with a dad who mentally abuses them and treats their life like a franchise. Absolutely! Turn Bubbles into a dimwitted alcoholic valley girl, turn Buttercup into a raging lesbian who fucks on a whim, but she's a firefighter so it's okay, she's a tomboy! And Blossom, a mentally ill and traumatized college degree collector who accidentally murdered a terrorist and the city hates them for it. Nice! And let's not forget Sara Bellum, reduced to being Blossom's soundboard and Prof. Utonium's girlfriend, from being Lauren Faust's intention of being an actual girl power icon. I'm never referring to him as Drake. The script constantly doing so is a reminder of how out of touch they are.
Actually, who fucking wrote this?
Ah, I see! a 42 year old washed up stripper responsible for Juno, divorced twice, and chose a pen name related to the devil! Of course! Why, she would know the real side of feminism! At least that explains how she got position to even start up the draft of this schlock.
Because that's what this is. Ironic schlock attempting to inject unhealthy amounts of "realism" and "Cynicism" into a deliberately freaky, colorful childrens cartoon. You don't fucking write self-referentially, because bringing awareness to the medium in which you tell your story breaks the viewers suspension of disbelief. "Yeah man, I'll show those chuds! They'll be sorry they were ever happy!" By stripping any and all hopefulness the original premise.
Nothing says girl power by reducing the main characters into terrible people!
