🐮 Lolcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / Russell Greee / Russle / Brothel Prince / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

I love how genuine and individualized that Russ's website is
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But those people sure look familiar...
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(there's a few hundred other examples, but you would think if you're going to take stock photos and write your own quotes for them you would at least do better than "his music is catchy". Also, I'm sure all professionals label themselves as "hollywood marketing directors")
Just a coincidence, Alvin is a real Former Publicist.
 
Just a coincidence, Alvin is a real Former Publicist.
And also a black dude.

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Sometimes I get bored and I wonder if Russell Greer's penis has Moebius syndrome?

I can just imagine his penis hanging there with a gaping maw, and semen slowly draining out of it and dripping onto everything.
I’m terrible for these sorts of thoughts. I imagine it has a foreskin that hangs longer than the knob, all skinny and wrinkled, no girth, oozing drippage. Yes, I disgust even myself.
 
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Straightshooter2: The Greer penis hangs there, a gaping maw, semen haphazardly drizzling everywhere, not unlike his doomed attempt to down a Starbucks hot chocolate right after a failed flirtation with a poor barista, her name tag unfortunately clipped directly on her bosom.

TractorGirl: The foreskin hangs longer than the knob, a most irregular penile posture that brings to mind his hunched walk of defeat after the Grande case dismissal. There is a complete lack of girth, all thin and bendy like a fencing sword, making it delightfully absurd that he wishes to top male prostitutes.

Straightshooter2: It sickens me.

TractorGirl: I love it.

Straightshooter2: Me too.
 
Sometimes I get bored and I wonder if Russell Greer's penis has Moebius syndrome?

I can just imagine his penis hanging there with a gaping maw, and semen slowly draining out of it and dripping onto everything.
I wonder if his pubes are just as greasy as the hair on his head.

Maybe they're in clumps from all the cooming he does because he cant bother to shower regularly.
 
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Straightshooter2: The Greer penis hangs there, a gaping maw, semen haphazardly drizzling everywhere, not unlike his doomed attempt to down a Starbucks hot chocolate right after a failed flirtation with a poor barista, her name tag unfortunately clipped directly on her bosom.

TractorGirl: The foreskin hangs longer than the knob, a most irregular penile posture that brings to mind his hunched walk of defeat after the Grande case dismissal. There is a complete lack of girth, all thin and bendy like a fencing sword, making it delightfully absurd that he wishes to top male prostitutes.

Straightshooter2: It sickens me.

TractorGirl: I love it.

Straightshooter2: Me too.
This is going to end up in the court documents somehow, isn't it?
 
I wonder if his pubes are just as greasy as the hair on his head.

Maybe they're in clumps from all the cooming he does because he cant bother to shower regularly.

Oh he absolutely has crusty pubes. No doubt in my mind. A mixture of cum, grease, and drool from his staring down at his penis in admiration as he jacks off. I'm sure it also all runs straight down into his butt and anus hairs where it transitions into dried sweat, diarrhea splash marks, and hard, painfully tangled dingleberries.

Imagine what you could grow in a petri dish with a lil swab from his crusty forest?

Remember how Russ said his boss once yelled at him to take his hands out of his pockets and stop looking down when he's being fussed at? He was probably picking at all of that stuff through the fabric of his pockets and letting the little crusty balls of it fall down his pant leg and onto the floor.
 
Thank you for agreeing to this not-a-date. Kind of fisappointed you didn't wear the red dress...
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Just a coincidence, Alvin is a real Former Publicist.
And apparently, poor Alvin took a major hit when he tried to pass on Russ's song "I Don't Get You" to Taylor Swift's people. I think he got yelled at if I recall.

EDIT: Who wants to bet he's been frantically emailing the model in his video trying "to be friends"? Who also wants to bet she's already blocked him and he's tried to report her to Fiverr for "discrimination"?
 
EDIT: Who wants to bet he's been frantically emailing the model in his video trying "to be friends"? Who also wants to bet she's already blocked him and he's tried to report her to Fiverr for "discrimination"?
Sickening to think about, but he probably REALLY got off to being able to tell an attractive woman what do. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked her to shoot a separate Director's Cut (specifically FOR the "director") of the opening shower sequence where she was totally nude, bending over opening her ass and pussy for an extra dollar.
 
Wow, been following Russell for a while, and despite all the weird sex pest antics I managed to never consider what his penis looked like. Thanks for that islamic imagery.

In any case, I think it's safe to say that he has both a small and mangled penis considering if he had a big dick he surely would have mentioned it several hundred times by now. Or at least written a bad lyric about it.
 
OT Carpet/Casino sperging...

In addition to all the reasons mentioned casino carpet is as ugly as Russ as way of recognition (EX you can tell you are in an Ameristar by carpet).

TIME FOR THE WOV CARPET QUIZ!!!

Easy mode of the Wetherspoons Carpet challenge. :P
 
I’m terrible for these sorts of thoughts. I imagine it has a foreskin that hangs longer than the knob, all skinny and wrinkled, no girth, oozing drippage. Yes, I disgust even myself.
Petition for a mandatory spoiler of any future comments like this. There may be no actual image but holy shit this is haram. 🇸🇦🇸🇦🇸🇦

Now this ooze you speak of— is it like puss that developed after rubbing himself raw?
 
I've seen a guy being eviscerated whilst alive on this site and still that was less disturbing than you all graphically describing what Russ's penis might look like.


I will also not go into the unpleasantness of thinking about it too much, all I can assume is it's small because his narc ego would have bragged about it by now if it was bigger than average.
 
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