The Trial of Derek Chauvin - Judgement(?) Day(?) has arrived!

[LemmeSee]

There was something off about the way that expert witness was talking. He creeped me the fuck out and I can't put my finger on why.

 

[Flip: Draw 2]

There's a lot of experts here I can "trust" but holy shit, this dude was not one of them.
I don't know how anyone can find him trustworthy compared to the witnesses so dead inside you can't help but believe them.

 

[Dr. Geronimo]

How interesting!

I told my mom that math was bad for my health. This is conclusive proof!

The only math you should be doing is how many cigarettes you should smoke in a day to stay healthy.

 

[Łimønča]

 

[Puff]

Is the goal just to lie REALLY big so when the jury assumes the middle ground is correct they still convict? Is that the strategy?

 

[Probably An Autist]

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Is the goal just to lie REALLY big so when the jury assumes the middle ground is correct they still convict? Is that the strategy?

They’ll convict. They’d be lynched if they didn’t.

 

[WeDon'tNeedToWhisper]

Holy shit, I can't believe this guy actually said people do not die from a 90% blocked artery. Like at all, ever.

I know someone who had a heart attack in the middle of the night due to an artery being blocked, I don't know how blocked it was. They lived, but they had to have a stent put in.

This is the first witness that I've heard the judge remind them that they're still under oath.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

go to Sargon and you get to listen to his starved intern try his best to explain what a lung is before they go back to describing how zogged Britain is

>go to Sargon
lol for what purpose? Dude's a joke after he tanked his "political career"

 

[Iceland Heavy]

Redditors see another sociopath, identify with them and think "WOW SO EMPATHETIC"

>another sociopath
I think that's honestly giving the average r*dditor too much credit, they're just absolute marks easily taken in by The Science.

 

[DocMorbis]

Between this guy and the other guy who said only 10% of smokers have bad lungs, I dont know where the State found these quacks at.

The defense will have a field day when they bring up actual doctors to body these quacks.

 

[DamnWolves!]

He also has manic eyes of someone who's trying REALLY hard to convince you of something against your own self interest

If he wasn't a cardiologist, he'd probably be working for the school board, trying to inject your son with estrogen.

 

[TurkishOreo]

This guy must be the greatest cardiologist in the world, he can do an electrocardiogram from a cell phone video and report exactly what is happening in the heart.

If what you're saying is the truth then that cardiologist is one sick fucker.

The power to exactly know what's going on inside hearts and telling ppl off that it's fine.

Edit: "Killer Queen has already blocked that heart"

 

[DiabeticSP]

Did they cross examine him yet?

 

[Special Agent Punchy]

This is the first witness that I've heard the judge remind them that they're still under oath.

Hot dang I missed that. Was that during direct?

 

[Fields Of Rye]

>No evidence
<90% narrowed arteries
<enlarged heart
<is literally sprouting new arteries according to this guy because it needs new blood flow

what a jew

Your honor. I'd like to present Evidence 2250. This photo reveals George Floyd to be an Astartes of the Ultramarines Chapter. A superhuman soldier from the year 40,000. Floyd could not have pulmonary edema, as he has two lungs. He could not have a heart attack because he had two hearts. His superhuman metabolism makes him immune to conventional drugs like Fentanyl. He was a big guy because he has the black carapace, a biomechanic biosuit installed under his skin. He biologically cannot feel fear or pain, and didn't want to get in the car because he was used to wearing his Mark VIII Terminator armor. The foam in his mouth is actually venom, which he can spit up to 30 meters and can melt through steel.

Floyd was on a mission to procure a banana on direct orders from Roboute Gulliman himself. He was stopped in his thunderbird, which was disguised as a shitty ford bronco and piloted by his apothecary surgeon general. And in my entire expert career as a Golden Corral waiter, I can confirm that their have been 0 cases of accidentally killing a space marine

How the actual fuck did you reach that conclusion

I saw the body cam footage your honor.

 

[BrokenLightbulbs]

This is the first witness that I've heard the judge remind them that they're still under oath.

Bro I was fucking HOWLING at that

 

[Celebrate Nite]

I didn't watch the whole testimony but I saw bits of it.

Dude come off autistic as fuck... almost a 1:1 of Jeff Goldblum only with beedy eyes

 

[reinigen]

I saw the body cam footage your honor.

Brief tangent, but SPEAKING of body cam footage. The footage from the shooting yesterday was released. Female cop pulled her service piece instead of the taser and shot the kid. Whooops!

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Did they cross examine him yet?

They did. It was short.

Then during the redirect, the Kang Prosecutor said, "So you're saying that meth, fentanyl, high blood pressure, blocked arteries, an enlarged heart, and a ganglioma could not have killed this man?"