3/28/2021 - Chris's latest fender bender

[CrazyRandomZyn]

Damn I’m behind, Chris is really carrying a baseball bat like a hooligan? That’s psycho lol, very big ADF vibes.

Here's the cwcki article on the bat: https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Baseball_bat

 

[Governor Jeb Bush]

Will this brush with death finally cure Chris of the this MERGE?

tune in next year to find out, kiddos.

 

[Naamaleipuri]

Here's the cwcki article on the bat: https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Baseball_bat

If he'd use it. It'd be hilarious.
"Virginia man attacked when he was picking food from Burger King.
The assailant was a middle aged man, angry about happy meals"

 

[The Dude]

I wonder why Chris' psychic powers didn't warn him he was about to do something very expensive and stupid before he backed into the truck?

 

[Optimus Prime]

I wonder why Chris' psychic powers didn't warn him he was about to do something very expensive and stupid before he backed into the truck?

Because he wasn't driving, Magi-Chan was.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I wonder why Chris' psychic powers didn't warn him he was about to do something very expensive and stupid before he backed into the truck?

‘It was fated’

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Do we even have confirmation that Chris gets his oil changed on the recommended interval of every 3 to 5 thousand miles? Chris definitely strikes me as one of those ‘tards who never change their oil until their engine finally seizes and they’re stranded, his only saving grace might be the fact that the car needs to go to the mechanic every 6 months or so and may get an oil change then.

Back in October 2010, when Son-Chu was still the Ford Escort, Chris recorded a series of videos showing him driving along Ruckersville. The videos included a shot of his car's oil change sticker showing that his next oil change was due back in April 2009:

Unless he did get the oil changed again and the oil change place didn't bother replacing the sticker, he was over a year and a half overdue.

Anyway, how are they going to fix the car. I doubt there's any parts for it. Are they just going to smooth it out to make it look even more like a piece of shit.

That generation of Chrysler minivans were very popular (the Grand Caravan generation that Chris is driving sold nearly a million units, and that's not including the other vans that Chrysler sold which used the same platform) and are still a relatively common sight. I highly doubt that he would have any issue with finding a replacement liftgate. Of course, the big question is if he should, and judging by the texts, even Chris knows at this point he should try to look for something more modern and reliable.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Not A-Logging but how is he still allowed to fucking drive?!

That isnt alogging. Alogging is wishing Chris death or harm, that's a genuine question.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

That isnt alogging. Alogging is wishing Chris death or harm, that's a genuine question.

Would stripping his licence to drive cause Chris any actual harm? That's a genuine and rather interesting question.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Oh great aside this traffic violation and the date of barb's hearing getting leaked we've hit another dry spell.

Honestly it's gonna be dry as a desert until barb finally croaks and we'll have to see how Chris copes. If he tries to hide her death from social media (at the very least) if he retreats further into denial, if he asks prateor to crash at their house(es) or if weens swoop in offering him one only to put him on display like a sideshow attraction by putting hidden Webcams in the house....actually that last one doesn't sound too bad. Be like the worst ND yet best reality show in 20 years or an even darker remake of the Truman show

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

If he'd use it. It'd be hilarious.
"Virginia man attacked when he was picking food from Burger King.
The assailant was a middle aged man, angry about happy meals"

I already elaborated once on how that could go (SPOILER: poorly)

Would stripping his licence to drive cause Chris any actual harm? That's a genuine and rather interesting question.

Nah, he'd just simply switch to flying or teleportation for transportation via his godly powers.

 

[anti SJW]

Does Chris know His drivers license expires? Does He have the common sense to renew it?

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Would stripping his licence to drive cause Chris any actual harm? That's a genuine and rather interesting question.

Genuine answer? No, it wouldn't. As I've said elsewhere, the worst that it would do would be to force him to walk places once in a while and use public transport for longer journeys. The horror.

 

[anti SJW]

Genuine answer? No, it wouldn't. As I've said elsewhere, the worst that it would do would be to force him to walk places once in a while and use public transport for longer journeys. The horror.

They'll let Chris on a public bus while having an aluminum baseball bat. Chris looks normal and sane.

 

[Punished “Venom” pH]

This is really scraping the bottom of the barrel of Chris-Chan human interest. Liquid Chris, this is not.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I already elaborated once on how that could go (SPOILER: poorly)

Yeah, Chris has never been in a real fight and I sincerely doubt he's done any martial art training so I can't imagine it'd go well for him, people don't even seem to consider that you can be disarmed and have a weapon used against you in a fight.

Although I guess it works as intimidation but he's also worrying everyone else he comes across that a manchild is running waddling around with an aluminium baseball bat.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

"top hat me but..."
I hope one dark and stormy night "Christine" gets cut up on the highway by Mike "the kike" Snyder in his old geezer car and ends up in a ditch.

 

[AnOminous]

If he'd use it. It'd be hilarious.
"Virginia man attacked when he was picking food from Burger King.
The assailant was a middle aged man, angry about happy meals"

More like Virginia Man sodomized with baseball bat after assailant took it from his weak, noodly arms when Virginia Man attacked him with it screaming about the color of a video game character's arms.

 

[anti SJW]

More like Virginia Man sodomized with baseball bat after assailant took it from his weak, noodly arms when Virginia Man attacked him with it screaming about the color of a video game character's arms.

But is it considered assault and sodomy if Chris likes it?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

But is it considered assault and sodomy if Chris likes it?

Chris would probably be charged with assault for shitting on the baseball bat.