So, when I got pregnant, my best friend was one of the first people I told - I was so excited to share with her. She was visibly upset and couldn't be happy for me for several days. She wants very badly to be pregnant herself and it's very painful for her that she's not, which I understand, but that hurt my feelings a lot. After several weeks of feeling hurt/weird about it early on, we cleared the air, and she started asking about the pregnancy and I was glad to be able to share with her, especially because I feel like trimesters 1 and 2 were really miserable. I have done a lot of venting/complaining about my symptoms.
She lives out of state and traveled up to visit for my baby shower last month, which I really appreciated it and hadn't expected for her to do. She even went with me to an ultrasound appointment while she was here, which I was super excited about sharing with her.
Since she went back home, she has stopped asking about the baby, the pregnancy, or even what I'm up to or how I'm doing on a daily basis when we chat. She doesn't start conversations and I'm starting to feel like she might not care to hear about it, or me in general. I've tried to really be THERE for her and ask her about her days and what she is doing, etc.
I know she's been really stressed out with her own life, but I feel weird - and even though I know I just need to ask her if everything's cool, I feel like I might already know the answer. She's stressed out about her own life, doesn't want to share about my pregnancy because it's painful and I have had a lot to complain about or worry about...but, I'm also not getting a chance to tell her about what's been going on, and I wonder if she'll feel like I'm being passive aggressive if baby comes early due to medical issues that she hasn't heard about - I feel like she might say, why didn't you tell me about any of this?
I need to just buckle down and ask, but I feel frustrated that my best friend isn't being as supportive as I had hoped, and it's not even just that, I feel like my being pregnant and excited (or, when I've been pregnant and unhappy) triggers her feeling suffering for herself not being pregnant.
Anyone else have BFFs during their pregnancy? :/
Edit in here: I'm having trouble understanding why people seem to be thinking I'm awful or unreasonable in that I'm frustrated that I don't have my best pal's support - I'm not saying that she isn't entitled to her feelings, or that I don't care about her feelings, or even that I think I am morally in the right in how I'm feeling. I'm just saying, I feel let down by my best pal, and I feel sad and disappointed about it.
I don't see how it's any different than any of the other ranting posts that other pregnant women post about having to deal with their friends, family, or strangers being unsupportive during the time we feel we really NEED support and don't wanna deal with crap. But I guess I'm the terrible exception, since folks are downvoting me even thanking people for sharing their experiences too? (Srsly?)
Edit #2: Thanks to those of you who are still chiming in with your experiences. I'm not going to reply to any more things because I don't think it matters what I say. I've shed tears in the past over not being able to have a baby. I've felt that pain. I feel her pain now and I can tell when she's sad. I haven't been rubbing anything in her face because I haven't been bringing anything up to her since I can tell she's backed off. I'm working hard to be there for her - and lots of other people in my life - during my pregnancy. It's true I feel like I "shouldn't" have to deal with other people's problems - I'm having a stressful, miserable high risk pregnancy. I'm not oblivious to reality and know that life doesn't work to take away everyone else's problems just because I'm having the hardest time in my life that I've ever had before in keeping it all together. I still have a lot of very painful relationships and instances where I have to expend energy, patience, and compassion for a lot of the people in my life that I love.
I just wanted to vent about feeling like I've lost my best friend to a tough situation, and wanted to not feel alone in hearing what other people's experiences have been when they went through similar stuff. Most of the responses have just made me feel more isolated and upset, since a lot of people are telling me I'm acting terrible or selfish in some way.
I'm glad that so many of you have not had to deal with this kind of situation - but I'm sad that there are such strong attacks. I was already feeling very alone with a lot of my pregnancy BECAUSE I can't talk or share with my best friend out of deference to her pain.
Sorry to have subjected you guys to me.
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