🍗 Deathfat Kelly Lenza / LividLipids / softbodytendermind / ass_child / photopotamus - "Radical body liberationist”, Intentionally Repulsive, Uber woke middle-aged SJW influencer wannabe, doxed her former therapist for getting WLS, ate her way to heart failure

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I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to have a sister-in-law, sorry nibling-in-law (or is it nibbling-in-law?), like Lipids and living in the same house with her. Not only that, you're quarantined with that hygiene challenged mess. That has to be one of the nine circles of hell. Has to be. What did she do in her life that made karma bitch slap her like this?
 
We all have "that relative"; the one we hope finds a reason not to come to family gatherings because they're a flaming pain in the ass. Kelly would be "that relative" on steroids. I can't imagine any normal family meal conversations she wouldn't turn into an excuse to preach or find triggering, (bonus points if she gets both in one shot), or otherwise find some way to turn into a convo about herself & her needs & issues.
 
dismissfrogs dijo:
it's the same fucking mask, i just know it
Presiona para expandir...
It is
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I dont think alyce likes kelly, from earlier tweets from kelly alluding to it, i think she got a free place to stay
 
Kelly posting in r/raisedbynarcissists

"[Happy!]
Hi guys, first time poster. New to the subreddit. Was pleased to find it! Glad there is growing acknowledgement/support for kids of narcissists.
Wanted to share a little and give a positive story. It is very long and spans all of last weekend, plus a little backstory, haha! Kudos if you read it all.
Figured out I had an NMom during therapy in my early twenties. My counselor coached me through a lot of separation from my mom and I learned how to set boundaries. I moved 700 miles away from my mom and (starting with pity) managed to actually build an okay relationship with my mom long distance, mostly revolving around me setting boundaries, me cultivating compassion for my mom, and me having the patience to deal with her without hurting myself (and realizing when I don't, and avoiding at those times).
My Nmom still likes to sit me down and tell me how harsh, cruel, and bitter I am about the past whenever I set boundaries - but generally, she at least respects the boundaries I set since she knows I'm out if she doesn't.
I'm pregnant with my first child, and my Nmom's excitement has been a source of stress for me. She has told me I'm ruining being a grandmother for her (by telling her there will be rules about not commenting on her grandkid's body/appearance - a major source of her abuse for me). I told her for the duration of the pregnancy that these "you're mean" sit down talks from her were off limits because I needed her support and they were not supportive. She's been following that, but sulking. I also told her fairly early that I was worried about being overwhelmed by family immediately after the birth, so I wanted her to wait and visit to "help out" a few weeks after. She has pretty much convinced herself that it means I hate her and don't want her to visit at all.
So, since she blew off my bridal shower five years ago, I really wanted her to come to the baby shower. I told her my mom-in-law (who hosted for me) and I were going to let HER pick the date of the shower so she could make sure she could come. You'd think it'd be a dream come true for an nmom! Nope - but I am pretty sure she was sulking and being passive aggressive after our discussion about her coming up not-right-away-for-birth. She hemmed and hawed, insisted it was too early to pick and that we were being ridiculous, she had to make arrangements with her job, that my grandmother wouldn't want to come at all (she did, for reference - my nmom likes to play gatekeeper with my grandma), and complained bitterly about having to travel in for the shower. She finally did pick a date, though.
So! She arrives last Friday. I expected them to come straight to my house and she didn't correct me. Sat around waiting forever. Turns out they went straight to the hotel and sat around there waiting for an hour to check in because their room was ready. They took a nap and shower and then finally came over for dinner. Afterwards, my mom got to feel the baby kick, which she was very excited about. Overall, okay experience! Hooray!
Saturday morning, my mom told me that she and my grandma wouldn't be ready to see me until after noon. I went and picked up my best friend from the train station, who also came in from out of town for the baby shower. We arranged to meet for lunch. My mom mostly behaved herself at lunch to my friend, myself, and my mom-in-law, but was an ass to the server. Afterwards, we started talking about everyone being back at my house to visit more. My grandma said that would be lovely, but my mom quickly overrode her and said NO! They had to go back to the hotel for Grandma to take a nap. My grandma piped up saying she didn't really feel like she needed one, but my mom insisted. My friend and mom-in-law piled in the car with me to go home and left them to it.
My best friend was confused - she's known about my relationship with my mom, but faced with this behavior she was like, why doesn't your mom want to spend time with you? She drove all these miles to be with you for the shower weekend? My mom-in-law was also upset that my mom overrode my grandma and insisted that both of them needed to avoid us. I explained that it bothered me a little too, but I wasn't thinking too much about it. And the nice thing was, I wasn't!
At dinner, when we met my mom and grandma for dinner at a restaurant, we found out why they'd blown us off - to spend time with some step-cousins who live in the area, who they invited to dinner with us. I had left my medication for the meal at home so my husband, friend, and I decided to get "to go" since I can't eat without it, and invited my mom, grandma, and step-cousins all over to eat with us. They declined but said they'd come over after they ate. Fast forward to later: they didn't come over. They spent more time with the step-cousins at the hotel.
Again, my best friend was confused at this behavior. She was like, why didn't she invite you to come over to the hotel so they could at least visit with you? Aren't they here to see you, their pregnant grand/daughter? At this point I was feeling just a little bit of those old feelings of not being "good enough" - wondering, what's wrong with me that my mom and grandma want to spend time with these distant step-cousins instead of me, during my special weekend? But - I let it go. I remembered that my self-worth isn't reliant on my mom's approval and that I didn't have to fall over myself to try and please her.
Sunday: baby shower day! I made breakfast for my mom-in-law, her boyfriend, my bestie, husband, and myself. I invited my mom and grandma but was told they were getting breakfast on their own and going to church. I texted them around lunch time to see if they wanted to get light lunch with myself and bestie across the street from their hotel. No, they did their own thing again. Okay, whatev - again my best friend was confused at their behavior.
Finally, it was getting close to the shower, and after my mom said they would see us there, I asked if they would come over and pick us up to travel to the shower together. I met resistance, but my mom finally agreed and came to pick us up. In the car ride over, I invited my mom and grandma to stay in town an extra day just to visit, since I felt like I hadn't gotten a chance to see them at all (I'm mostly disappointed on missing out on grandma). My grandma said yes, that sounds wonderful! But my mom overrode her again and said NO!
The shower itself was great! My mom-in-law did a great job. At one point early on, I could hear my mom fussing about seating arrangements and trying to "save seats" with her scarf for the distant cousins (who she had insisted I invite to the shower). I started to get involved when my mom started asking if people could move to arrange for seats close to her for the cousins - but then said to myself, this is not my problem! Go enjoy the shower! And so I did. :) I did find out later from my mom-in-law that my nmom told my very sweet grandma-in-law NO when she tried to sit next to her; this hurt her feelings, understandably. I plan on apologizing to my grandma-in-law on her behalf.
During a little speech I made thanking everyone for coming, the gifts, etc., I introduced all the special out of town guests - including Nmom. She interrupted me to tell me that I needed to introduce the step cousins as special guests, too. I said no mom, they are not. I'm just introducing out-of-towners. I was a little flustered at this point, but just moved on and we had cake.
After that, the only other Nmom thing of note: she was taking pictures of me with other people at the shower. When my mom-in-law came up and we embraced, and kissed on the mouth (common in my husband's extended family), my mom just flat out stopped taking pictures and said, "I am jealous. Take pictures of me with her instead," and handed her camera to my mom-in-law, who patiently agreed. My mom promptly wanted to pose for a picture with us kissing on the mouth, which we don't do in my family and I'm pretty sure hasn't happened since I was five. I was pretty uncomfortable but laughed about it with my mom-in-law later.
Afterwards, many of us went back to my house for the "after party." I was sitting and the baby started to kick - when I announced it, my mom immediately came towards me with an excited face and outstretched hands. I told her, "no Mom, you already felt. Other people need a turn to feel too." Her face fell and I could tell she was crushed. 15 minutes later, she came and asked me quietly if I wanted her to leave. 9__9
I was getting pretty overwhelmed/tired/crabby at this point (pregnant and busy day, after all) and actually just blurted out, "No, dummy, I invited you to stay an extra day!" She didn't seem to react to the dummy bit (oops) but hugged me and seemed relieved at least a little.
Everyone left town the next morning. My mom stopped by to say good-bye and pick up my best friend, who she'd volunteered to drive to the train station for me (this is one of the nicest things she's actively done for me ever - usually when she wants to do something nice, she throws money at me). When she hugged me to say good-bye, she said she wished she had more time with me. I thought to myself, you planned this trip to be short yourself, and aren't staying longer even though you could! But didn't say anything.
In hindsight, I feel really good about the whole weekend. My Nmom did her shitty things, but in general, was on her best behavior. I can tell that she is genuinely trying to be supportive of me, even though she is incapable of acting decent quite often. I was able to feel and acknowledge my feelings without letting them take over and ruin my special weekend. I was able to set boundaries with her in real time and not get really stressed and upset when she reacted poorly.
So...I feel proud. :) And I hope that if any of you read this long and are dealing with an Nparent, you can find some hope in this."


r/raisedbynarcissists - NMom and Baby Shower Weekend (Victory!)

116 votes and 28 comments so far on Reddit
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JFC that reddit post could have been 4 different posts, Kelly. I bet maybe 1 person bothered to read past the 1st paragraph. Also, while NPD parents are a real thing, so is Oppositional Defiance Disorder, which seems to suit you to a T.
 
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