I HOPE I DIE OF CORONAVIRUS

[Tookie]

Ravage me, Corona-chan, I want it so bad.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

No I wanna be Typhoid Mary!

 

[Orion Balls]

Hope to catch it in Florida next month. Maybe they won't let me leave...

 

[jagerkon]

If you die from an anime girl virus you deserve it. Adapt and breathe through the fluid filling your lungs or perish.

 

[Rokko]

HATSCHI!!!!! (achoo in german).

 

[Ivan Shatov]

When I die, I want to go quickly and quietly, without being a burden to anyone I care about.

All coronavirus has revealed is more ways I would never want to go. I wake up some mornings picturing those Chinese assholes seizing up and dying on the streets. The victims who make it to hospital beds look like they've got radiation poisoning.

In a way, the people who got this early are the lucky ones. Their hospitals are not overflowing, the lights are not flickering, and some of them can even do interviews with news crews. It's not going to stay that way for long.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

I hope you die of Coronavirus, too


jk ilu

 

[Magog]

When you're so lonely and drunk you start thinking you can infect your internet friends with corona....

 

[PonelessBizza]

How can you die if you're already dead?

 

[Positron]

When we all fall dead where do we go?

 

[Niggernerd]

I'm a NEET so you all should probably be ready to leave me offerings as i sit on my throne of dead chads and stacies.

 

[Pygmy Giraffe]

When I die, I want to go quickly and quietly, without being a burden to anyone I care about.

Look on the bright side, if you come down with corona you'll have a generous timeframe to scour the worst of the internet's perversions from your hard drive, including any evidence of... this place. That would be one burden lifted off your loved ones, whose last memory of you would otherwise be stumbling on a cache of dickgirl hentai.

 

[DocHoliday1977]

If you really want to get the Chinese back, make them American teachers when the stomach virus is plowing through schools taking no prisoners. That's being sick.

They'll be begging Mongolians to kill them.

 

[Ivan Shatov]

Look on the bright side, if you come down with corona you'll have a generous timeframe to scour the worst of the internet's perversions from your hard drive, including any evidence of... this place. That would be one burden lifted off your loved ones, whose last memory of you would otherwise be stumbling on a cache of dickgirl hentai.

The killswitch has been in place since the late 1990s, it's a single keystroke I can activate remotely. I test it from time to time, now that everything's on SSDs I can do a complete wipe in under 2 minutes. Not that anyone is going to decrypt the drives, but this is future-proofing.

The only way it doesn't happen is if WuFlu sends me into seizures and I collapse in the street. Even if it failed, my wife would know I was trying to warn the world and understand.

 

[VelcroPocket]

I plan to infect commies. If I'm gonna die, at least I will clean the planet on my way to the grave.

 

[Sm0kINHaZefEEliNBlaZEd]

COOF MY LIFE INTO SNEEZES
THIS DISEASE I WILL TRANSPORT

 

[Shield Breaker]

I thought the plan was to let the virus take out the normies, and then Null would build his ultimate Kiwi Kingdom of Autopia? I figured you were a shoe-in for chief justice.

 

[The Great Chandler]

>Wants to die of corona
>Isn't old and frail

 

[Bad Gateway]

Dying is for communists. Living is lit.

 

[Unyielding Stupidity]

If you really want to die, just commit suicide - it isn't that hard.