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Listen, guys. I didn't want to have to do this, but I'm going to post the biggest, longest, straightest dick in the entire world! Let me just upload it from my hard drive (moar like hard DICK, amirite?)

Oh wait. I don't have any of those, because I don't look at gay porn (not that there's anything wrong with that). And even if I did, I'm not so autistic as to go posting it on message boards in a sad attempt to disrupt an argument that I was losing.
 
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