Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

[AnOminous]

I hope, when that pic was taken, they were demonstrating what not to do, because there's 4 things wrong with his form that I can see and it's just a still image (his fingers are going to hit before his knuckle, his arm is chickenwinged out, his hand is down, his chin is sticking up)

When people break their hands punching someone that's the main way they do it, especially if they hit a hard place like a forehead.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

tgrs is a fucking waste zone and should be closed
the good trans poster will integrate to the rest of the forum
the fucking crazies will leave to their tranny site and fuck off

But what would happen to the dozen or so minority posters on SA?

 

[Hippopatumus]

> Dave, as thanks, ended up raping Trem's wife and escaping back to the Seattle meth camps.

Whoaaaa what the fuck? This must have went down after I abandoned the place. He was always clearly nutzo but I never would have pegged him as a rapist. What happened?

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

When people break their hands punching someone that's the main way they do it, especially if they hit a hard place like a forehead.

Yep, don't (chicken)wing your punches (it's slower and less power behind it), tilt your wrist slightly down so your big two knuckles hit first (prevents breaking fingers/hand and gives more power), keep your chin down and hands up (better for defense).

 

[TurdFondler]

> Dave, as thanks, ended up raping Trem's wife and escaping back to the Seattle meth camps.

Whoaaaa what the fuck? This must have went down after I abandoned the place. He was always clearly nutzo but I never would have pegged him as a rapist. What happened?

AI goons honestly tried to support him, the time in the Midwest was honestly good for him. It was like rehab. He put on weight, lost the sickly pallor and was out where meth wasn't available to him. Goons watched him like hawks.

He was always posting really crazy shit in the offsites though, really hung up about not getting laid and the desperation just radiated from him. The hugbox must have fed his ego, he was some kind of narc for sure.

 

[Manah]

Yep, don't (chicken)wing your punches (it's slower and less power behind it), tilt your wrist slightly down so your big two knuckles hit first (prevents breaking fingers/hand and gives more power), keep your chin down and hands up (better for defense).

Not that this is something that is ever going to come up in my life, but what is chickenwinging?

 

[Gender Fluids BLEVE]

It's when your elbow is out to the side and high when you throw a punch. Instead of driving your fist straight in with all the power of your arm and shoulder behind it, you're throwing your elbow out and kind of levering your fist out from your midline.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Not that this is something that is ever going to come up in my life, but what is chickenwinging?

When you punch, don't lift your elbow up (like that twink is doing) first. You want to throw a punch as if your arm is a corkscrew and start the punch motion by just pushing your fist out and not lift your elbow up and then doing so. You lose a lot of speed/power and telegraph it that way. Except if you are throwing a hook, of course, but based on the way his fist is facing, he wasn't throwing a hook

 

[Manah]

I think TGRS is taking the Queer Illuminati gang tag roleplay a bit too seriously.

 

[FromaCorvairSix]

AI goons honestly tried to support him, the time in the Midwest was honestly good for him. It was like rehab. He put on weight, lost the sickly pallor and was out where meth wasn't available to him. Goons watched him like hawks.

He was always posting really crazy shit in the offsites though, really hung up about not getting laid and the desperation just radiated from him. The hugbox must have fed his ego, he was some kind of narc for sure.

I heard another side of this fiasco. Trem's wife cheated on Trem with Dave, which Dave then felt guilty about and ended up telling Trem. When Trem confronted his wife, she accused Dave of raping her. Take it for what it's worth though. The entire inch dick saga was basically the plot to a Coen Brothers movie, directed by Meth. Dave is sober and living in SoCal with his family now, last I heard.

 

[X Prime]

Turns out it was a Dickensian pedophilia RP run/approved by one of the mods that was just so spergy it could hide in plain sight.

You can't say this and not namedrop which GBS mod was responsible for this, man!

 

[TurdFondler]

I heard another side of this fiasco. Trem's wife cheated on Trem with Dave, which Dave then felt guilty about and ended up telling Trem. When Trem confronted his wife, she accused Dave of raping her. Take it for what it's worth though. The entire inch dick saga was basically the plot to a Coen Brothers movie, directed by Meth. Dave is sober and living in SoCal with his family now, last I heard.

I would very much like to believe this. Dave really seemed on the mend after his truck saga and at his core didn't seem like a bad guy. If he's living in SoCal and sober then I really wish him the best and legitimately feel bad for helping further his character assassination.

But I don't know if we'll ever know the truth. It goes to show how one sided the narrative ends up being on SA.


Edit: I have no idea who the Dickens Xmas pedo rp mod was, it was during the catlady days and moderators changed every other day.

 

[Ineedahero]

Have we talked about Zybourne clock in depth yet? It's definitely my favourite goon fuck up, and not just because it made it into Fallout, I'm pretty sure I remember how it went down.

 

[Bear Powers]

> Dave, as thanks, ended up raping Trem's wife and escaping back to the Seattle meth camps.

Whoaaaa what the fuck? This must have went down after I abandoned the place. He was always clearly nutzo but I never would have pegged him as a rapist. What happened?

I followed that thread long after I gave up on the rest of SA mostly because I thought it would end in the typical goon trainwreck, and it didn't disappoint there. However to my knowledge it's not clear what Inch/Dave actually did. Dave's last post in the thread doesn't seem like something someone who brutally raped his friend's wife would post, and the friend never publicly posted what happened. I think he told others through PM's but as far as I saw it was never posted. Dave was unpersoned post-haste and as far as I saw anyone who asked questions was immediately shouted down and basically told never to bring him up, and all conversation about it was in such vague terms, and steered towards donating to a women's shelter and other similar causes.

I don't doubt that something happened, but considering goons are the type of people who consider farting near a woman rape I have to wonder about the severity of what Dave actually did.

Edit: just read FromaCorvairSix's post. That would make some sense. The whole thing seemed so off.

 

[forums poster wow]

ai is the #1 subforum that should have made an offsite and left SA, but never will until its too late because of how isolated it is from the rest of the forum. it will also be one of the only things of value lost when lowtax inevitably kills sa. its just kind of existed in its own little bubble.

 

[TurdFondler]

Oh fuck I can't stop.

There was a time a goon ran the maintenance department for a kids summer camp. That camp had a surplus one year and he was put in charge of expanding the facilities. He decides to build a zipline. On top of a ravine.

The thing ends up towering like 4 stories over a gravel pit and after all the money is spent he comes to the forums asking " how do I slow a zipline down? We built this thing and tried it with a sack of potatoes but it seems to go way too fast."

Someone did the math and figured an average child would approach speeds of 50mph.


Then there was a goon who bought scrubland in Hawaii to make a yoga retreat. He offered room and board for free labor. Some fat idiots flew out to Hawaii and hacked at the bush with machetes aimlessly. OP refused to get the land mapped, hoping instead to wander through the undergrowth until he reached enlightenment or something. They tried making biochar (for no reason, the earth was crazy fertile), their potable water was stored in a kiddie pool that wild boards ended up shitting and pissing it, and they tried killing small game with BB guns but ended up just basically filming rodent torture porn. The locals tried to help, but after seeing how hopeless it was they left the goons to their own devices. All their equipment was stolen shortly afterwards.

There was a thread about some idiot who had a job locked in at his dads law firm. He didn't want to go right away or something, and decided to cure his depression by walking across America. His plan was to walk across the desert states along the highway in the summer. Goons finally managed to convince him to at least take the American Discovery Trail.

He crowdfunds his epic Walk for Mental Health, branding it "Walk like Crazy" and loads up by buying one of everything in Walmarts outdoor section. He loads it all into a shitty child's bicycle trailer thing. He's never cooked a meal for himself so he planned to eat lots of jerky, peanuts and BK chicken fries (seriously).

He sets off and almost immediately the cart falls apart. He abandons it trailside (littering in a national park) and does an absolutely gruelling 10 miles in 2 days. Beaten, battered and bruised having eaten only a handful of raisins he Ubers home, his diary filled to the brim with accounts of his epic sojourn. He drove his BMW to wherever his dad had promised him a job.


Edit: in the automotive chat thread of the month Dave got banned there are posts with PMs that make a pretty convincing argument , of course it's all one sided.

Important to remember last time AI gave someone the benefit of a doubt someone 100% got raped. Something to do with Boomerjinks

 

[ReformedGoon]

I'll stand up for AI as well because most of the folks there (most) seem fairly mentally stable and at the very least gainfully employed. I never heard the other half of the dave story because of how quickly the whole situation was memory holed. Interesting.

 

[AnOminous]

Oh fuck I can't stop.

There was a time a goon ran the maintenance department for a kids summer camp. That camp had a surplus one year and he was put in charge of expanding the facilities. He decides to build a zipline. On top of a ravine.

The thing ends up towering like 4 stories over a gravel pit and after all the money is spent he comes to the forums asking " how do I slow a zipline down? We built this thing and tried it with a sack of potatoes but it seems to go way too fast."

Someone did the math and figured an average child would approach speeds of 50mph.

This would have literally killed anyone who tried to use it as they crashed face first at 50 mph into a tree or some shit.

How could goons ever think they were the smartest people on the Internet when they were always the Florida Men of the Internet and almost all goon stories involve colossal failures, death and mayhem?

 

[ProudGayWhiteMale]

Does anyone remember the profoundly exceptional goon who shotgunned a family because they touched his "punkins" ? That's what he called his pumpkins (possibly actual squash) in a thread he made complaining about it before the shotgunning.

Also there was the FYAD poster who was also a wikipedia editor sperg, who complained to his local news station about a "noose" in a hardware store that was just a plastic string that held a sign many years before. He then got owned by the main anchor during an editorial on the same station, where the anchor made a little noose shaped anti-racism award just for him. He then wrote a wikipedia article on the incident, shortly before he was doxxed by others in FYAD and ended up getting banned from wikipedia after a coordinated trolling effort. He then, get this... hangs himself.

 

[Synthetic Smug]

Does anyone remember the profoundly exceptional goon who shotgunned a family because they touched his "punkins" ? That's what he called his pumpkins (possibly actual squash) in a thread he made complaining about it before the shotgunning.

Also there was the FYAD poster who was also a wikipedia editor sperg, who complained to his local news station about a "noose" in a hardware store that was just a plastic string that held a sign many years before. He then got owned by the main anchor during an editorial on the same station, where the anchor made a little noose shaped anti-racism award just for him. He then wrote a wikipedia article on the incident, shortly before he was doxxed by others in FYAD and ended up getting banned from wikipedia after a coordinated trolling effort. He then, get this... hangs himself.

forbiddenforum was the killer: https://www.somethingawful.com/great-goon-database/great-goon-best/4/