DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[PieceofShet]

This "im smart cause i own a business" talk was the STOOOPIDEST thing he said in recent memory. Makes no sense. He has to beg every day for the rest of his life, i would not call that being smart.

 

[actually]

I can't/won't attest for the funniness of the troll tip in particular. It was more of a general comment.

Sure, you may get more Keks per Shekel out of the situation with other means but at the same time I am thinking of I was sitting here and counting every dollar others spend on something that I don't understand I'd be just as miserable if not worse than Dave.

I just enjoy laughing at him and the shit he does/says/gets himself into and that's why reading post after post of "le fail trolls dun it again" can get a little old. Tho I understand where you are coming from with your view on so please pardon my willful ignorance when it comes to the economics of trolling him

I am pushing buttons okay?

This is a fair point too. I also thoroughly enjoy the dumb shit he does and says. The "I'm smarter than you" rant today was a gem.

 

[Commander Keen]

Can you do that on PS3 or whatever console he's on? My understanding was that that's only an option on the PC version.



Have there been any legitimately funny troll tips in recent memory? A troll tip that generates a reaction is one thing, but the overwhelming majority nowadays just get a "Thanks for the money, dummy" or "Another trolltip. Thanks for the (insert amount here)" and that's it. For fuck's sake, that "The Goutening" moron spent $150 to get laughed at. If the tip is less than $5, it doesn't even show up on screen for everyone to laugh at. Further, why would you spend $5 when you could spend 50 cents to cheer and get the same on-screen popup? Or better yet, just tag Phil when he's looking at chat and say some shit. The best reactions trolls have gotten have come (imo) from people just shittalking him in chat OR asking him some question designed to get him riled up to go on a rant, and they generally manage that shit for free.

For me at least, it's not really about some high-morality stance...it's wondering why someone would piss away money when they could accomplish the exact same objective (an angry reaction from Phil) for free. Especially when he's screening every tip for trolling now.

Again, it is my belief that The Goutening wasn’t trying to troll DSP, but troll detractors. It is supremely easy to troll kiwi farms and tevin’s restream: send Phil a lot of money and pretend to be a troll. I do believe people do this.

Anyway, there’s tons of good troll cheers. Any 50-100 bit cheer that sends Phil off on a rant about detractors, kat, tevin, whatever I think is a success. Someone sent him 50 cents and he started dropping fat loads all over tevin calling him a no talent piece of shit and I got a chuckle out of it. It’s kinda like putting a quarter into those capsule machines you used to see at gas stations and family restaurant chains. Sometimes you got a pretty nifty toy, most of the time you got absolute crap.

 

[PieceofShet]

I wonder if he will delete it as soon as he sees it.

https://thekingofhate.com/forums/topic/4629-phils-statements-on-job-security/
http://archive.is/6laJv

 

[Kermit the Frog]

The whole "I'm smarter than you" rant is certainly up there in the most delusional things Phil has ever said. Phil probably thinks the only type of boss is someone that comes over and tells you to put the cover sheet on your TPS report, thus you've become someone else's "stooge" according to him. More importantly, here's what Phil should take into consideration: Who the fuck cuts his paychecks? Twitch and YouTube (also to a much lesser extent, Patreon). Those are his bosses, we know this because any time there's a policy change within those companies that could potentially negatively effect Phil (or he just flat out gets banned), he goes into instant panic mode and starts violently shaking in his chair. They don't come over and tell him what to do like in a normal, hierarchical workplace, but he is completely dependent on them for their platform and financial payouts. Being your own boss would mean the only people you're beholden to are the customers, and even then you could make a semantics argument that the customers are the boss for the reason that ultimately they're responsible for your success or failure. He is not his own boss, plain and simple.

 

[Surly Muppet]

Tonight's stream highlighted some classic DSP elements.

For starters, presumably salty over the lack of donations, he explicitly commented that the stream was slow and that "views were low for a fighting game". Great comment there, Phil. You repeatedly say you don't look at views and that views don't matter, then you comment when they're low (375 at the time, not low by recent standards), and then imply that you are comparing it to all the other times you've monitored the views. Which you 'don't do'. I just don't know why it is so hard to stick to the lie.

Phil repeatedly commented about having never seen some assist characters before. One was some girl that emits a purple sleep cloud, and the other is a chain chomp. I didn't watch his single player playthrough, but I'm playing it right now myself and there are two stages that are explicitly dedicated to managing these particular assists. Maybe he avoided the girl by nullifying sleep with a spirit, but the chain chomp is not avoidable. So he is either entirely bullshitting, or he has really become incapable of retaining or learning new information, because he has seen both of them before.

The connection rants. Not only was it not reading inputs or delaying them, in some cases it did my favourite maneuver and read a "B" input when Phil 'didn't press B'. Regardless of what you think about lag, I can tell you that's not happening. But anyway, he was playing lobbies and kept saying that it resulted in sub-optimal connections (for him) from people 'around the world'. All those dirty foreign viewers. But from what I saw, some of them were doing some moves that require fairly decent timing and Phil was obviously just incapable of keeping up with his sausage thumbs and ham-glazed eyes. It's one thing to complain in a 1v1 fighting game with strangers, but I don't know how he thinks he can rationally maintain this narrative that his internet is fine when everyone else in an arena seems unaffected. I guess they're all on fibre?

He also repeatedly talked about playing Ridley, but said he can't because he hasn't tried him. Phil's interest apparently is derived from the fact that Ridley gets played in tournaments. I don't know where he got this knowledge, but he apparently believes Ridley is high tier and finds this appealing. Then he blew up at someone who asked if he was aiming to compete, claiming he didn't care about being competitive, and that this was all just for fun. This bizzare cocktail of 'tism and ego that prevents him from trying new characters is really pronounced in a game like Smash where the massive roster is half the point. He obviously only sees the game as fun when he is winning.

The bitter conclusion was also fantastic. "I hope the viewers who played me had a good time. For me this felt like a waste of time." How do you say that without realizing you sound like a piece of shit. That said, the whole stream was painful to listen to because Phil wasn't even raging so much as going full angry Eeyore.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

You wonder?

Maybe, just maybe, that NOBODY CARES TO PAY AND NOMINATE your own shit for you to watch? I'm sure there will be autistic people willing to pay 12K for you to watch your Masturbation videos 12 times but I'm sure your Ego wouldnt let that green roll in would ya, Philli boi

fuck this guy

 

[Surly Muppet]

I'm really unclear on what he thinks is left to watch.

He said he wouldn't watch a whole playthrough, so I guess he wants to you to find and suggest the one video that has a funny part?
He doesn't want anything that involves Leanna. So there goes all of his travel vlogs, several DSP Tries It, and most of his Christmas vlogs and house tours.
He already did Project 7 and given the salt at Christmas, I would think is looking to avoid content that contains Rambo.
I don't know why anyone would nominate reviews or E3 coverage because they'd be out of date. Unless he said something incriminating in them. But...
He will screen oddities, as he cut off the face reveal video moments before the part where he asks people to click on ads. So he can smell a trap when a really specific video gets nominated.

A 10 year 'legacy', and I really can't think of enough acceptable content to fill another 7 hours, let alone fill them with anything that'll be entertaining.
His only hope, if he sticks to the aforementioned criteria, would be to consider reacting to a TIHYDP. But he'd never do that.
This event will either get cancelled, or manipulated into something else. And then we'll have another failure to fulfill a promise that'll later have to be retconned.

 

[LyteSydeByll]

....
The bitter conclusion was also fantastic. "I hope the viewers who played me had a good time. For me this felt like a waste of time." How do you say that without realizing you sound like a piece of shit. That said, the whole stream was painful to listen to because Phil wasn't even raging so much as going full angry Eeyore.

I definitely had fun playing him.

Does that count as neghole pozzing?

 

[Surly Muppet]

I definitely had fun playing him.

Does that count as neghole pozzing?

Him banning you was amazingly petty. You were playing clean and well, and then he banned you out of nowhere when Swagginz started melting down that you were a detractor and chat was cheering for you. Uncut envy. Well done.

DK's final move on you was also pretty good, dropping off the ledge in a throw and hurling you at the side of the stage. The kind of move that requires timing not possible when the match was 'lagging' as Phil had just finished claiming, so even that trolled him.

 

[gaarashatan]

phil really is such a smart, honest, caring, charitable, loving, funny, chill, talented guy. for sure. his past is in the past. the only thing that matters is the present. and for sure, hes a much better guy now...without question...you rarely ever hear him bitch, beg, cry about something. you join his stream and hear ack ack ack all the time cause his jokes are fucking hilarious........

.........fades to black

*phil wakes up from his dream about himself*

 

[Heckler1]

I definitely had fun playing him.

Does that count as neghole pozzing?

Nothing wrong with just playing the game.

I was watching an older tihydp, and its astonishing how much Phil hates games/his life now. even a year or so ago he could at least pretend to clown it up for people's entertainment. I find myself pitying the pathetic shambling zombie we see before us now.

 

[gin_nose]

Yea he would. After losing the first chair sponsorship he felt defeated. He needed to do something to make it look like “he won”.

I mean come on. Another chair company (no name at that) magically appeared after he lost the first one and conveniently sent him a chair? That doesn’t add up. He bought it. That’s why he didn’t care when they went out of business. Plus his “sponsor link” was a link that literally anyone could get.

while i agree phil is petty enough to do something like buying the chair to get a win and look like he 1 up-ed his detractors in this case i dont think it makes sense.

Yes, he could have just got an affiliate link like any random person but would he risk saying they sent him the chair for free when the company could turn around and say they didnt give it for free when people spam the shit out of them? Sure, they could have told phil that if he buys it they will say it was free but would be be willing to take that risk? Nothing would be worse to him than if he lied and then was exposed by the company. i dont think he would take the risk of that giant of an L to get a small win.

Hey everyone my YouTube views are on the rise!

Someone just said that my views are going down. Technically, yes, but that's because I was sick for a week. I didn't upload any videos so I lost views. But other than that, they are positively growing.

Someone just said that the YouTube views are continually going down. That's because I make longer videos. I make less videos so I get less views. It's simple math, idiot. If you look at the numbers, my YouTube is doing really well!

In other news, my YouTube is doing bad. This is the worst YouTube has ever been for me. I only make $20 a day from YouTube. I'm treating YouTube as an archive now because it just isn't profitable anymore.

Someone just asked, "Why don't you put Twitch chat in your YouTube videos?". Real talk, I can't! Putting chat in my YouTube videos would harm the quality and I would lose views. I need those views to make money on YouTube!

How can i give more than 1 winner? this post deserves it.

As mentioned above, he's stuck in the teenage edgelord mentality where being passionate about anything is suuuuuper lame, bruh. So he only takes a stance when it benefits him to do so (see SOPA, Article 13, etc). Otherwise, he just does some kind of "both sides" or "don't know" answer. That said, I fully believe he is 100% ignorant on the vast majority of things outside of the games he is playing and wrestling. He routinely spouts off objectively incorrect statements on a host of things. I wish I could think of some specifics, but I know he's ranted about US healthcare and just been flat wrong on what he was saying.

Phil is a woefully ignorant person--I'd bet $100 he couldn't name his US senator without looking it up. I actually wonder if he could even name 3 members of the current Presidential cabinet or talk remotely knowledgeably about the current shutdown. My guess is absolutely not aside from maybe a few talking points he saw on Twitter.

He seems to wear this lack of general knowledge about politics, sports, and anything outside of his immediate sphere of interest as some sort of badge of honor, and I honestly don't understand the lack of intellectual curiosity. What a boring life that must be.

So true. I bet the only thing he can spout is shit he has read on twitter. I doubt he knows ANYTHING about current events, the government, politics, etc. What is worst is he is basiclaly the Mundane Matt of twitch streamers, but even worse because he doesnt even try to sit on the middle of the fence, he just avoids the fence all together unless like you said its something that could affect him negatively. he MIGHT know who mike pence is, MAYBE. and yes i guarantee he doesnt know his senator or congressman. for someone who was a valedictorian i just dont get it, his school must have been extra special because the valedictorian was legit smart in my school. his geography in bully proves he is dumb as a rock.

This retard still talks about "Amazontube" because of some shit he read on twitter years ago even though anyone with a brain knows they already launched it and its not what he is looking for and it wont help him, at all, ever.

- complete reliance on unowned infrastructure (this one is, in particular, his fault, as he could be streaming via his own domain and could have set it up fucking years ago if he'd had any foresight)

EDIT to point out the fucking obvious: I think the number of successful business owners whose three-year plan was built on a foundation of "beg for money from the public" could take a leisurely seat in any 7-11 bathroom.

this is actually a really good point. he has viewers from his old YT days, being on twitch doesnt help him grow at all, no one finds him on twitch and then starts watching him.

he could have setup dsplive.com or some shit years and years ago, like when he left twitch the first time with some of that giant pile of money he had instead of wasting it on statues and buying frivilous shit. his fans would have followed him to his website and he would have zero risk of being banned and could say whatever he want and kept his DSP shtick of being the "king of hate" and he might have been able to keep growing and eventually do well.

fakesydephil is so god awful boring, and you are just left with his negative qualities and none of the ones that people enjoyed (him raging, screaming like a baby, etc).

but who are we kidding this is the guy who wants to put the least amount of effort possible for maximum profit, right now he is able to do zero beyond sitting on his ass and repeating what he sees on screen with zero investment in improvements and still make six figures.

He will screen oddities, as he cut off the face reveal video moments before the part where he asks people to click on ads. So he can smell a trap when a really specific video gets nominated.

this happened? was it the most recent one? (i didnt watch it). I find it hilarious that he had to watch himself asking people to click on ads after he swears up and down for years it never happened. i am betting he convinced himself after lying so long it never happened so i find it hilarious he had to sit and watch it and then realize he did say it and cut it out. this makes me chuckle inside.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Actually checked out his stream today and he was just standing in front of a mission marker because he couldn't do the mission until a certain time. How could ths guy not be more popular???

Even better. He slammed his greazy unwashed fingers in his face and acted like the world was coming to an end. Then he talked to Chestnut the Shekel-Squirrel cuz a mission only available in a certain time frame is apparently worse than Hitler.
He is in fact not a clown.

Goes without saying but playing GTA without listening to the radio is straight up blasphemous and you're really missing part of GTA's identity when you do that. Which makes sense why Phil does this because he doesn't care.

He really needs to mute the music for his Twitch VODs. Oh.
I mean to make money on his supposedly irrelevant archive YouTube channel. Oh.

 

[Sparkletor]

while i agree phil is petty enough to do something like buying the chair to get a win and look like he 1 up-ed his detractors in this case i dont think it makes sense.

Yes, he could have just got an affiliate link like any random person but would he risk saying they sent him the chair for free when the company could turn around and say they didnt give it for free when people spam the shit out of them? Sure, they could have told phil that if he buys it they will say it was free but would be be willing to take that risk? Nothing would be worse to him than if he lied and then was exposed by the company. i dont think he would take the risk of that giant of an L to get a small win.

As far as the chair lore goes the second company had a phone number. A Google search showed another business, a television and small electronics repair shop, with the same number. A Google map search showed the address of the business as a house.

This business was one guy who would buy chairs from China and resell them at a profit on the side while also fixing people's televisions in his house. I think it would be highly unlikely this guy was sending out free chairs. I think he was more likely to say, "If you promote my chair flipping business I'll throw you $10 if you get me a sale".

I'm on team "Phil Bought the Chair". He was pissed off that the detractors ruined his free chair and bought one himself and chalked it up as a win.

 

[Hungrymandinner]

Even if Phil is smart, it’s wasted on his current lifestyle. His intelligence allows him to swindle rubes out of their money by playing children’s games for their entertainment. Congrats, you’re going through life on easy mode. But your intelligence may allow you to realize it comes with the cost of your physical / mental / social health. Enjoy staying in your town home with no friends for the rest of your life. Phil’s the guy who gets 999 rubies in Zelda by save scumming at the gambler, while everyone else is out exploring, battling, and having fun. So smart.

 

[gin_nose]

The whole "I'm smarter than you" rant is certainly up there in the most delusional things Phil has ever said. Phil probably thinks the only type of boss is someone that comes over and tells you to put the cover sheet on your TPS report, thus you've become someone else's "stooge" according to him. More importantly, here's what Phil should take into consideration: Who the fuck cuts his paychecks? Twitch and YouTube (also to a much lesser extent, Patreon). Those are his bosses, we know this because any time there's a policy change within those companies that could potentially negatively effect Phil (or he just flat out gets banned), he goes into instant panic mode and starts violently shaking in his chair. They don't come over and tell him what to do like in a normal, hierarchical workplace, but he is completely dependent on them for their platform and financial payouts. Being your own boss would mean the only people you're beholden to are the customers, and even then you could make a semantics argument that the customers are the boss for the reason that ultimately they're responsible for your success or failure. He is not his own boss, plain and simple.

One could even say at this point the viewers are his boss. I mean he has to explain everything to them when he takes days off, etc because THEY pay him, not twitch, twitch facilitates it and therefore is a mini-boss but the end of the day, phil is 90% reliant on fans giving him money now. It's the reason why his YT dying is a bigger deal than he realizes, at least with YT you arent at the whim of people to show up and give you money. If your few whales and pigs all happen to be short on cash/lose interest/doing other shit at the same time he can end up fucked, majorly, and really fast. A month with phil making only $3000 on twitch would be a fucking disaster for him at this point and he likely wouldnt recover, and its totally possible this could happen at any time.

Sure he can take days off but he has to get his paypigs to accept it and be cool with it or he risks losing his pay check, that is just as bad as having a regualr job, worse because you have zero safety net.

IMO Phil likely will manage to stay afloat for a few more years, likely 5-10 years. Once phil physically looks like an old dude the twitch crowd will no longer relate to him and his current fans likely will have grown out of watching twitch and busy with family life, etc. currently he passes (barely) as a millennial in 10 years he is will look like most twitch users grandpa, literally. when that happens he is going to wish he didnt make all those videos for the govt to see saing his back is now fine and cured, because he is going to run to disability for sure

 

[Raven'sChild]

In other news, during last night's 2nd stream D$P gave his audience some absolutely brilliant insight as to how his upcoming KH3 run is going to go. He commented on reviewers having mentioned problems with the story. D$P tells us he doesn't care about the story. All he cares about is if the gameplay is good and for KH3 that it has cutscenes with Disney characters. This goes a long way toward explaining his lack of immersion in the games he plays. It does not, however explain why he claims to really, really like jrpgs. The rp stands for Role Playing after all.

 

[Pargon]

In other news, during last night's 2nd stream D$P gave his audience some absolutely brilliant insight as to how his upcoming KH3 run is going to go. He commented on reviewers having mentioned problems with the story. D$P tells us he doesn't care about the story. All he cares about is if the gameplay is good and for KH3 that it has cutscenes with Disney characters. This goes a long way toward explaining his lack of immersion in the games he plays. It does not, however explain why he claims to really, really like jrpgs. The rp stands for Role Playing after all.

I'm guessing it has something to do with turn-based, menu-driven combat being something his brain can handle and/or something he can succeed at with repetitive, half-assed strategies. If DSP wants to beat a JRPG, especially an older one, all he needs to do is grind until he can win. He clearly hates any game with a story; he can't sit through cutscenes and any sign of emotional depth makes him visually uncomfortable. It really makes me wonder why he enjoys movies so much.

(Those aren't criticisms of the genre, btw - I prefer them for those reasons too but that's because I'm rubbish at things like FPS and unlike Phil I don't play games which actively make me miserable.)

He'd just better keep his greasy hands off Final Fantasy VI. I'm fairly sure he will just because to my knowledge there's no version out there with cheevos/trophies, but...even so.

Related, did he do the post game for DQ XI? I think I read something saying because he saw the credits that the game was over and if he did he basically skipped a fifth of the game.

 

[LiquidCancer]