How do you beat and abuse your spouse? - Tips and tricks of the trade

I have loving missionary sex under candle lights with the purpose of recreation every night with her
I'm a fucking monster, I know.
 
I sometimes let girls hold my hand so I can lead them to the path of damnation if that counts for anything.
 
I use an array of cattle prods, loud noises, strobe lights, and cat food to achieve spousal submission.
 
I beat her often with a sack full of broken VHS copies of Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones, and I'll often wake her up at 2-5 AM by taking massive dumps on her while she tries to sleep. When I do rape her, I make sure to make it as confusing as possible. I kill goats while I have sex more often than the Middle East fucks them.

And sunlight is a privilege, not a right, but I make up for it by throwing flashbangs at her every so often. Not enough to create a pattern, but enough for psychological damage.
 
Amateurs.
I say "there's something we really need to talk about later.."
Then I never get around to talking about it.
 
I rearrange the furnature slightly everyday and act angrier everytime she mentions it. I sold her children from a previous relationship into human trafficking, but told her they ran away because they hated her. Everytime she eats I call her fat, but when she skips a meal I threaten to hospitalize her for anorexia.
 
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