DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Iron Hamster]

Phil once said that the best deal on credit was the one with the lowest monthly payments

It's a buyer's market for low monthly payments

 

[Ralof-of-Cringewood]

What I don't understand is why this mongoloid doesn't incentivise hitting $150 by adding an additional pack. He's hamstrung himself to $50 increments without any overarching goal milestone, and there's no difference between him being at $2 vs $102 from the dent perspective.

Because he expects a minimum of 100 each stream is what your missing. That's his minimum viable threshold of dent dollars he needs to avoid a finger wagging business meeting/threatened wage quit, 50 dahlers isn't going to cut it for poor dsp

 

[MC Law]

I just noticed there hasn't been any edited videos on Phil's channel. Did he address that? Did Lummox actually cut ties with him? Which would be very fucking stupid to do, that as soon as he's called out for being Phil's editor, suddenly no more highlights.

I have done my part to bully and harass Lummox, but Phil probably cheaped out on paying.

 

[Phíloden- King of Denthan]

ATTENDENCE. ENGAGEMENT. SUPPORT.

(by which I mean support)

We need MOMENTUM.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

What I don't understand is why this mongoloid doesn't incentivise hitting $150 by adding an additional pack. He's hamstrung himself to $50 increments without any overarching goal milestone, and there's no difference between him being at $2 vs $102 from the dent perspective.

Personally the reason he doesn't do that is the same reason he takes off the prime streaming days; he's insecure and doesn't think he could actually do any better streaming that how he's doing now. So everything he does is stuff that he subconsciously does to ensure he stays in the weird "2 rungs from the bottom" status.

 

[UncleTusky]

He legit looks like he have cancer , wtf is wrong with his weigh loss

he was a big fat fatty for so long that his skin lost all elasticity, it kept + or - the same shape and volume while the fat underneath decreased.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

he was a big fat fatty for so long that his skin lost all elasticity, it kept + or - the same shape and volume while the fat underneath decreased.

If he took his shirt off it would look like melting vanilla ice cream.

 

[RougeRed]

I've been talking a lot about Phil's lies lately and I totally forgot a recent/upcoming one that I'm interested to see play out. He said that he's going to buy a bunch of Pokemon code cards so he can give away the codes during his marathon. This is almost certainly a lie, but comes with a bit of a bonus.

I didn't see any physical code cards for sale anywhere but eBay. This makes sense because why would anyone want the physical card? If they want the code, they just send it to you after you pay. Why would someone bother with the time and money to physical send it to you? There are code cards listed on that site he buys his cards, but the descriptions all say "not a physical item. You are buying the code."

I'm assuming he saw these listings at some point and felt like a genius. He could lie about buying them and use these worthless code cards from packs he lied about opening as a way to "add value" to his stream. In typical fashion, he started telling this lie without considering why no one would sell the physical cards.

The other thing that stuck out immediately was that he has never, ever bought something simply to give it away to his viewers. On the contrary, he has gone on rants multiple times when people in his chat have suggested he do a giveaway. He called them stupid, and explained how it didn't make business sense to buy something then give it away for free.

So, he has now given evidence that he is ripping a bunch of packs off stream and lying about it. He came up with a lie based on his ignorance about the code cards for sale. He provided evidence that his hoarding problem is so bad that he's been holding onto code cards that have zero value to him. (If he had been planning this all along, we wouldn't have just started hearing about this incredibly generous giveaway). On top of everything else, we are going to get a count of how many secret off stream packs he has opened by simply counting how many he gives away.

Phil is the world's worst liar.

 

[morel style individual]

That would make the math more complicated than "one pahck = $50" which would be a problem for Phil.

I'm sorry. I've hit my breaking point. I can't hold it back anymore, I have to sperg out about this.

The transliteration you have written in your message is "pock."

"ah" is the ɒ sound as used in "khando", or "Tikh Tahk", or "cum AHHHN mayun".

"ayuh" is the æ sound as used in "bayunned", or "brown vayun", or "AYUND..." This is closer to the correct vowel sound for "pack", although in reality, "an" is pretty much the only syllable DSP butchers like this.

It's fine to make fun of Phil, but please, stay accurate to the source material. Thank you.

 

[johnkimble123]

Phil is so dumb about business that he makes every business he talks about look better.

His rant about Xbox prices going up was a great example, same as his rants about Steam Machine pricing. He doesn’t understand that any of these gaming devices can be under $2k and still be cheaper than a PC. If he had 1 brain cell he would know a GPU + RAM + SSD literally costs $2k by itself.

It’s wild that he has a business degree and is as retarded as a boomer or a child.

Fairfield University should revoke his business degree just because he’s a fucking moron.

 

[Shuma-Gorath]

I have done my part to bully and harass Lummox, but Phil probably cheaped out on paying.

That would be quite based, honestly.
* Talk with Lummox because you're shitting on Wings.
* Lummox offers to be your new editor
* Kick dragon fucker to the curb
* Accept
* Have Lummox work for free like the dumb faggot he is
* Don't pay him

What is he gonna do? Say that Phil owes him and he was indeed working for him? No one would care about the money and he's already believed to be a gigadent.
The question is, how long until Phil reveals it and says that he KING SNAKED Lummox by having him work for free and never intended to pay? We know he doesn't have any original ideas, so it's not unlikely that he will go with it now that I said it. It's win-win anyway, Phil can't pass a moment to show how much of a piece of shit he is when it comes to dunking people.

 

[HorseWifeAppreciator]

He's got almost a grand grifted off his pet mongs and he got that juicy dopamine flowing the entire time. Like or not, this is what a phil W looks like

That has to have been be the most testosterone flowing throw his body is a recent memory. I hope Kat had the door locked the other night because Big Daddy Phil was coming to clap them cheeks.

 

[Grandmas Cream Pie]

That has to have been be the most testosterone flowing throw his body is a recent memory. I hope Kat had the door locked the other night because Big Daddy Phil was coming to clap them cheeks.

Bold of you to assume that Khet would want to touch the pigroach in the first place, that he has a sex drive, and that he has a functional penis that can become erect. No, this fucker is celibate.

 

[HorseWifeAppreciator]

Bold of you to assume that Khet would want to touch the pigroach in the first place, that he has a sex drive, and that he has a functional penis that can become erect. No, this fucker is celibate.

I believe he does at certain points when the dopamine hits and for a few minutes he isn't totally dead on the inside. It doesn't last that long but there are definitely moments where he's all horned up and ready to put little phil to work.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

if he closes his eyes really tight and pretends she's LTG...

 

[SauceRyuKen]

Fine, I'll keep going.

This whole thing was such a good read, it's making me think a psychological analysis of Phil's habits would make for a kickass thread.

Phil's narcissism

The ability to understand how other people will interpret things you say and do is extremely important in lying. Another important skill is being able to imagine a world where the lie is the truth. You need to be able to imagine it as true so you can know the things that will give it away. Phil can't do this, and it just doesn't occur to him to plan for it.

This is a very common occurence with aging narcissists. I believe it's not just that he can't put himself in anyone else's place, which he can't, as you said. Probably due to his unique cocktail of narcissism, autism and low intelligence. But as narcs age, they typically pivot from "I must win over at least a few people" to "Nobody's worth my time and company, really."

Spoiler: Aging narcs

Phil directly quotes that. "Enjoying each other's company." You can sometimes see through the dents in his mask persona. Phil really fucking thinks he's a hoot and a half to be around. His extreme entitlement is a source of that. He's the one that needs to be catered to, assisted and entertained, not the other way around. It's a huge part of why he's a manbaby.

When narcs lie, it might be lack of intelligence, but it's also them having a silent jerkoff session over it. "Yeah, you're not even worth a proper lie. Howboutdat." "If you wanna be allowed around MY MAGNIFICENCE, you must play ball, and that means my word is law." "If you truly are as smart as you think you are, you will smile politely and nod and understand that what I'm telling you is a test of your compliance to my narrative and not to the fact based truth."

So basically, it's a shit test. He certainly shit tested Craig: "A lie is still an answer."

Matter of fact he shit tests people he should like and hold close constantly.

"If you're not right about this, there's gonna be hell to pay, that's all I'm gonna say." - Phil to paypig Swagginz, who was one of his top whales at the time, during Resident Evil 2 Remake, as Swagginz was paying out the ass AYUND handholding Phil with great care through cheesing Hardcore via Adaptive Difficulty.

"How about a little kiss?" - Phil during the Soulmaid reveal stream to a woman who had VERY obviously only signed on to be a beard.

"We don't want any children." - Phil to Kat during one of his "Family" streams. She shot him a look.

"This is not a pregnancy announcement". - Phil showcasing THE FAT KAT during THE FAT KAT reveal. Again, she shot him a look.

"Keem's A Misery Merchant!" to "Keem, you are someone WhoOoOOoOooO..." - To Keemstar during the Sidescrollers Slaughter.

When Phil knows he can't scam or make someone take his shit, he typically, to his credit, knows to just fold like a napkin. Dude wasn't even able to muster the SLIGHTEST amount of pushback vs Steven Cambien, he just gave evasives and made his excuses to leave.
Phil's inner social hierarchy is incredibly strict. Pretty much set in stone. There are a few things he appreciates and will earn you a "Sir". Typically it's muscles. Phil respects muscular men and will Sir them (Because of his transparent homo lust.) SIR Moist, dude, but Asmon? Yeah we can tell him to stop being a BITCH.
He doesn't even respect success on social media, because his inner narrative tells him that he's the greatest of all time and nobody should be more popular than him, Pewdiepie was just essentially a fluke.

It's a weird sweet spot to hit, but Phil will not even TRY to pignotize people he knows outsmart him. A huge part of why he no longer does actual gaming khantent and has retired from getting frustrated is the realization that he was never gonna win his hatedom over. If you wanna be in his sphere, he'll allow you, as long as you give inconditional praise and faith in whatever bullshit he's peddling that day, money, or both. For him to even try to pignotize a certain person, he's gotta feel that he's smarter than them and above on the totem pole.

So basically, because LTG is a Sir, this entirely limits Phil's comfortable social interaction circle to... Wings Of Redemption. And he's fucked off from the internet, and his trolls actually kinda miss him, like Phil always said his own trolls would, so that's funny. Seriously, Wings and Asmon are the only dudes he tried to spin yarns to in recent memory, aside from his dents, and he fucking loathes his dents.

To roughly paraphrase his recent generational lolcow moment:

"I'm not poor, (Entirely kept afloat by dents) I'm not unhappy, (Jingling keys for retards who he hates for a living playing games he despises) my wife's not fat, (No proof shown) she didn't leave me (This one's semantics: yes, she still lives there. No, she was never actually his wife. They've never fucked.) I'm eating healthy (No proof shown, narcissistic injury at Triple P taking the piss out of his gourmet frozen snack pizzas.) I have muscles now, (With fat girl angles and Ozempic)

SHALL WE CONTINUE WITH REALITY?

(If you don't fucking accept that this is reality, right here, right now, fuck off. If you stick around, this is what I think of myself, and you're gonna deal with it. If you don't, I'm still gonna claim that I won because you didn't fuck off, so you IMPLICITLY accept that this is reality. If you fuck off, I won. Even if you prove every last thing I said is beyond reasonable doubt a lie, I will still claim you have no proof, so I won.)

Essentially when they break out the term "Reality", you know they're too far gone. Phil was always into affirmations, but I wouldn't be surprised if he believes he can actually warp reality to some extent.

"Your clothes and face are clean. You don't smell like you ate a PB&J." to "I think you are lying to me" because in his mind the logic to make that leap is simply not possible.

This is one of those things... Narcs typically base core parts of their personality on celebrities/fictional characters that they like or think are cool. We've seen Phil do this, and matter of fact we don't draw enough attention to how much he skinwalks other people because we're used to it, but it's absolutely one of the weirdest things he does.

Spoiler: Best of Phil aping other people

Howard Stern shawk jawk shit
Leeanna's goat laugh
Khet's "Deadpan" answers
Triple P's (THE BETRAYER!!!!, I call him) hyped up begging
Asmongold's Little Yes and Little No answers THAT HE FUCKING MIMICKED TO ASMON'S FACE TO CURRY FAVOR MIND YOU.
And of course Quartering's Pokemon Addiction.

Thing is, and this is another of those things that Quasimodo predicted, I've been saying for years and hasn't really picked up steam unlike the gay thing, but I'm sure people will notice more overtime:

HUGE parts of Phil's personality, and I mean HUGE parts of it are based on The Sopranos television series. To this god damn day he says "Gahlf" EXACTLY like Tony and Big Pussy did. Because he's not only a retard but a narcissist, he deeply bonded with Tony. He had the pattern shirts and leather jackets just like him. In that old video of him walking to order up some hotdogs to a counter that Leanna took he even mimicked Tony's walk. He has mentioned that he was pissed at the ending and he didn't get it. If he ever gets pressed on it, I suspect he'll say that Tony didn't die.

A huge part of Tony's character is how he's a shit liar but he is lucky enough to be in a position where he can just force people to roll with his obvious bullshit. A huge plot point of the series is "They know, but they DON'T know!" Nothing happened with Ade, Chrissy! Now what are you gonna do about it? And think of the consequences. Patsy Parisi knew straight away that Spoons was capped because he was mouthing off about Tony's psychiatrist, but he couldn't say or do shit about it. Until the very end, at least.

This influenced how Phil will just straight up refuse to engage with any sort of dissent, squashing it instead. You say something he doesn't like when he's trying to spin a yarn? BAYUND, and don't come bayuck. It makes him look weak and stupid, but he doesn't care.

In his mind, I've no doubt Phil is this macho tough guy who squashes any beef that might arise with a single swing of his mighty banhammer. Reality's a lot more pathetic than that, of course, he's a scammer hiding in his hugbox, but narcs are more than willing to stick to their own narrative. Phil is deeply pignotized.

Which ironically should make him a kickass liar: After all, it's not a lie if YOU believe it! I'm sure Phil mostly believes his own bullshit, but he's just too dumb to sell it, and him having the option to just squash any dissent immediately and him being such a lazy fuckwad means he always takes the easiest option of just silently banning.

Like dude, at this point if you were really as strong as you say you are we'd have shirtless pics and LTG-like tight fitting shirts on stream. If the roommate was no longer fat, she'd have been on screen already. If the exercise was actually happening, there would be videos, because the dents would eat that shit up. Proving it is literally less effort if it's true than keeping up the charade. When pressed on why he only flexes in certain angles he accidentally gave up the game: "Because it only looks good in that position! ... I mean, I don't have the lighting, and I don't know all the proper bahdybuilding poses... And it's not that serious..."

Yeah dude, fat girl angles, gotcha. It's fat girl angles and pushing your flab forward. Like a dude with a tiny lil' pencil dick, which btw, he once uploaded to youtube using the same, exact extreme closeup perspective trick to make it look big, only to then delete the video and claim he had been hacked.

At the same time, he knew he was gonna become an Ozempic zombie so he had to cook up this healthy lifestyle and exercise bullshit spectacular because the last 20 years of his life have been documented and everyone knows there's no fucking way in hell this slothful glutton woke up one day and said "Y'know what I think I finally understand what restraint and discipline are!"

A lot of it is laziness. Good lying takes effort, care, and logic, all things that he's lacking. But then he's culled his audience to only people he can scam circles around, which brings me to my next subject:

Spoiler: Phil actually believes he's smart... Because he's surrounded by retards.

You've seen the story a thousand times. Two idiots live together and one is slightly less idiotic than the other: Their dynamic usually cleanly and neatly reflects that one of them is "The smart, reliable one" while the other isn't. They're both idiots. Trying to find the smart one is like trying to find the slightly more attractive rock.

Intelectual gassed up midwits, essentially. Because Phil deliberately culls his fanbase to only people dumb enough to believe his scams, he is pretty much surrounded by retards 24/7. This is why he adopts the "Bullying victim" persona so much. Most retards were bullied, so they can relate.

Almost any time Phil tells a #relatable story about how he was bullied and disturbed during his youth, he just comes across as an incredibly whiny, shitty person who actually had it pretty easy when you think about it. He was given a pity Valedictorian, he was turned down by women, which isn't weird, because he had issues up the ass (hehe) with women due to being a woman-hating closeted gay guy, and he didn't get the Wahlvereehn Dahll.

Even the stories about trolls are nothing but lies and propaganda. Sure, he's massively stalked, there's Troll Commandos coming out of his walls straight out of the Reehouse (Very old thread about IRL trolling Phil) and there's agent Jhyaspuhr Kitty-Burnell ocasionally chewing on his cables, and the trolls supposedly seethe when the dents donate big. None of this is backed up by evidence outside of like the ONE vaguely threatening email and we're supposed to believe Phil is being chased down like the jews during the holocaust.

And because they are retards, they typically take Phil at his word. Like a Non-Profit going down their sucker list, they know smarter people are bound to ask questions. "Oh okay, how much of the money actually makes it to the homeless? Oh a whole-ass 10%? Man, that C-Suite personnel must be expensive as shit. Let me think about it for a while, don't call me back, I'mma be thinking."

So they just don't market to smarter people. Phil's entire business model is completely based on looking for suckers. So Phil feels comparatively like a regular Megamind. And hey, his patchy goatee and head shape do make the resemblance uncanny.

A huge part of Phil's no bullshit no drama excuse is because he wholeheartedly believes that people should just show up to the stream, give him money, and ask no questions. Because that makes it easier to catch suckers.

So in short, Phil is aware that most of his fans are dented and he knows he doesn't have to put in that much effort lying. Again, as Penultimate Warrior said, he can just ban whoever spots the obvious bullshit and move on with his day, so he does just that.

His belief that people aren't allowed to feel misled or decieved by this behavior because "technically I didn't lie" really shows just how little he understands or is able to comprehend that other people have thoughts and feelings. If this was done to him, he would be outraged and call you a lying piece of shit, but when he does it, he expects everyone would just go "Oh well, I guess he was technically telling the truth and I was wrong because I didn't specify."

This is another Narc classic pattern of behaviour where you need to absolutely baby them through everything, and even then, if you dare mince your words in the slightest. they will immediately declare victory. It's a Fallacy Of Composition: One of your details was unclear/wrong, therefore your ENTIRE argument is COMPLETELY invalid, and they typically go straight into DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim And Offender, though I suspect plenty of people on this thread were familiar with it) afterwards, which Phil did after the pushup debacle.

Spoiler: Manchild behaviour that seeks to win arguments by attrition

So basically in Phil's head: "You didn't specify, so I outsmarted you. Or used jugaad to increase my izzat. Partly because I am a moron and being intentionally obtuse, but also because I think you're a stupider moron and I can run circles around you. You agreed to this: Are you a man of your word, or are you a bitch?"

The goal is to assert dominance and win by exhaustion. When he saw the guy wasn't biting he pretty much just let it go. It's essentially a childish behaviour that narcs never grow out of. The fact that Phil lets it be after trying once or twice means that Linda was probably pretty much done with his bullshit by the time he was in his early teens. Between that and the suspicion that he might be a pole smoker, no wonder traditional republican stay at home chimney mom put him on happy pills. Come to think of it, mom putting him on happy pills was probably a topic he bonded over with Khet.

To this day Phil will take the bait on things he thinks he can disqualify on grounds of being stupid to look like the smarter guy. It's a 20% hit rate at best, because he is a barely functional retard, but I remember he recently did the performance.

And to cap things off, I'd say a huge part of why Phil is a shitty liar is because he's a hardcore hypocrite. "LTG is so stupid! Let us proceed to begin? Clearly trying to sound smarter than he really is, ack ack ack."

"What I will say, Robustly (Meaning strong) And Ahnestly, (Meaning: What I'm about to say is important to me, not what I'm about to say is the truth) is THUS: (Wrong use of thus) This BURGURR is FLAVORFUL, SALTY, SAVORY, AND FULL OF FLAVOR."

Like lying at least requires you to be able to imagine what it's like to be consistent and authentic. And it requires you to keep your lies consistent, too, but Phil has a shit memory and is allergic to effort of any type, so he tends to contradict his lies, sometimes multiple times in the same prestream podcast.

TL;DR: Phil's an old narc now and old narcs typically just DGAF, on top of being a retard, and that's a big part of why he's such a bad liar. Sorry for the novel.

 

[Dave'sWeakestDent]

OOPSIE POOPSIE!

Source

 

[DerelictOnion]

Phil actually believes he's smart... Because he's surrounded by retards.

I just love how his fans are universally treated as lower level than him (the guy who is perpetually at Level 1 his entire life). The best they can ever hope to get is pity because they pulled the short straw at birth and somehow found out about Phil. They are not only being mocked and documented, they are also giving their time, affection and lifesavings to a person who treats them like disposable garbage. It's truly fascinating to observe something this strange.

 

[Burn In Hell Burnell]

I don't even understand how a man can reach his age and be this stupid. He talks about modding PC games like it's fucking rocket science. It's literally just dragging and dropping files most of the time! He's willing to use AI to generate the world's most nightmarish thumbnail images for his streams, but not to ask it for help installing mods?

Why even play on PC? Might as well have stuck with his PS5 Pro.

0:56

He even manages to make using a mod manager sound difficult! How does he dress himself without someone being there to tell him how? Is that why he needs a soulmaid?

 

[shekelshoah666]

I don't even understand how a man can reach his age and be this stupid. He talks about modding PC games like it's fucking rocket science. It's literally just dragging and dropping files most of the time! He's willing to use AI to generate the world's most nightmarish thumbnail images for his streams, but not to ask it for help installing mods?

Why even play on PC? Might as well have stuck with his PS5 Pro.


modphobia.mov

He even manages to make using a mod manager sound difficult! How does he dress himself without someone being there to tell him how? Is that why he needs a soulmaid?

I searched "How to install mods on Dark Souls 2" on YouTube and got 6 of the first 7 videos showing step by step instructions.

Learned helplessness is a hell of a drug.